Living Proof

Normally during this time of the year, especially with the long stretch of February, I'm no joy to be around. I'm depressed, grumpy, cranky, irritable, impatient----you get my drift. Last year, I cannot tell you how many times I almost checked myself into the funny farm, but this year was quite different, especially for a February. With that being said -- the holidays is a whole other can-o-beans because I'm just nutty around Christmas regardless. But February is my 'to-be-feared' month for those around me. As you've heard a million and one times before, I'm still on a very low carb diet, (Paleo) and doing things to boost my immunity and health, like eating egg yolks and not just egg whites to appease calorie/cholesterol intake. I started taking 3,000 IUs of vitamin D. I get my calcium and vitamin C through broccoli and steer away from fruit. I also take 1,000 mg of vitamin C (probably just expensive urine), but I find that it helps somewhat. If at all pos...

This past year, I have boycotted quite a few types of food that I once loved. Of course, this goes without saying that I do have a cheat day once in a while, but for the most part, in my mind, it's poison. I have eliminated sugar, bread, pasta and rice to the best of my ability. Any time I eat any of these things, my mind keeps chanting, "Poison…poison…poison." Without the option of ordering my favorite pastas out, I would then order a huge thing of steamed clams and mussels. I even started to dabble in crab, scallops and other types of seafood that goes along with my diet. It was a great alternative option besides getting steak or chicken - the same ol' same ol'. I was happy. Finally, I had options! And then, fecking Fukushima strikes again with another reactor melting down and spilling into our ocean. Not only that, but they have found a slew of radioactive fish --- fish with bleeding eyes and puss coming out of their pores, almost like a fish version of eb...

Are you putting me on a diet??? To my surprise, I'm still maintaining the Paleo lifestyle and learning more in depth about it. I learned about ketosis, carb intake and how more fat in your diet = more weight loss, considering it's from a good, clean source. With that being said, I remember rolling my eyes at my gluten-free friends whenever they had parties and served up gluten-free crackers or pasta. It was gross and I still think so. I never try to mimic foods that I can't have. I see a lot of people who are on Paleo mimicking pies, cakes, pancakes and other treats, just to satisfy their sweet tooth in some roundabout way. Although I do believe whatever works best for 'you' is fine, but for me, if it doesn't truly taste like the REAL thing, I'm gonna eventually want the real thing. So, I stick to all the other amazing options out there, trying to incorporate new foods I never thought would be a liking to my palate. I have so much appreciation for my mom...

Every fall it feels like a new start. Maybe it has to do with imprints of my past childhood when I started school every September, but this year it feels a bit different. This past summer was absolutely torturous, being in and out of the hospital with stomach bleeding and excruciating back pain. Finally, I'm seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. My pain is very minimal, manageable and sometimes, not even present. My stomach feels as though it has healed nicely since I quit NSAIDs and had a therapy of stomach medications and antibiotics. I feel back to "me" again and I thank GOD for it. I even went out dancing the other night in three inch heels. (I know I know, that's pushing it, but damn it felt good!) I even ventured out to my friend's' BBQ, where all of our buddies from high school gathered around and had a blast. One friend commented, "Damn Deb! We haven't seen you since before the summer, glad you're finally here and not in your assign...

There are things in life that we can control and things that we cannot control. We can only do what feels right to us. I take in a lot. I listen to what people say and then decide if I want to believe it, use it for my own personal reasons or just chuck it out the window. I've been reading a lot about hackers who have the ability to tap into your webcams as well as baby monitors. They can even call out to your child. A friend posted an article and it was really disturbing. I also heard that the government, as well as hackers can tap into your TV cam. Oh wait, you didn't know your smart TV had a cam installed in it? Neither did I. And if you think about what most people do in front of a TV or just live their lives in front of one, then yes, it's disturbing to say the least. We can let it give us a case of paranoia -- and with much good reason, because it's quite a concern...or we can tape up the cameras. What about the microphones? So much, so much. I just got off th...

What a waste of $$$.  On and off, it seems to come in waves and then leaves as quickly as it came. I've never experienced this sort of chronic pain in all my life. Thankfully, this morning I woke up with "tolerable" pain, but was able to walk and do my daily routine. When speaking to my doctor, the only answer was Percocet. He even advised that I double up on the stuff, leaving me zoned out like some zombie - a lifeless lump of wasted space on the sofa. Madelene asked if I wanted to go to the hospital and stay there for pain management. What's the point? I can do that here now with all the oxycodone, oxycontin, oxy-whatevers that the hospital threw at me, hoping to get me out of their room for the next patient. I tried the "holistic" path, medicinal marijuana. At first, it seemed to have taken the pain away momentarily, and it helped me sleep, but that paranoid-I'm-gonna-freak-the-hell-out side effect started to kick in. Not only did it start to give...

I gave Madelene a blanket and pillow and threw her on the couch last night. I didn't want her to go through a night of horrific blood curdling screams from all the pain I'm experiencing, especially that I can no longer take pain meds. I would have taken the couch myself, but I lock up every time I lay down on it.  She's been having a rough go of it at work and super stressed out, so she needed her sleep more than I did at this point. Why torture her by letting her sleep in the same bed with me? My dog had no problem taking up the rest of the unused portion of the bed. With each scream of pain, Lola looked up at me, sniffed my face and then gave me a lick. It was like I had a K9 nurse taking care of me, well, a very short legged, long-bodied one with chronic halitosis, but nonetheless. I woke up this morning, enjoyed a cup of coffee out on the deck and finally had some relief from the night's agonizing pain. I went to physical therapy last night and it helped a lot, bu...

Been away for a while. I guess you can say I was on vacation in a spacious room with an ensuite.  You guessed it: the hospital. I ended up there due to stomach bleeding. I was vomiting blood which looked like coffee grinds. I know this due to my friend Google. I was also there for severe - and I mean, excruciating body pain. No one could figure out what the hell was going on with me. Once in the ER, they had to put me in a wheel chair because I was unable walk by myself. I was shaking and crying - it was so unbearable. Then they needed to check for "samples", need I say de la poupe or good ol' merde . Needless to say, after the nurse checked me with a latex glove and some jelly, she never did bring me out to dinner afterwards. I'll put a complaint in later.  They detected blood and basically, that was their main concern - not my cries of pain from every single part of my body hurting. That was just "normal" to them. They pumped me up with morphine after ...

The theme of this month has been brought to you by PAIN. And with its unknown or 'guessed' diagnosis', I'm officially calling it bullshit. Lower back pain. Keepin' it simple. It's slowly fading off into a tolerable type of pain, but nonetheless. The only thing that makes me tolerable, is the good ol' herb I've been counting on for when the ibuprofen doesn't quite cut it. This is my nightstand. It holds two or three essential needs for my evening and morning 'lockups'. I think it should be prescribed as an antidepressant, pain reliever, and medication for sleeping disorders. Maybe it already has in other states.   In other news, I have a lot of work to do on my cooking blog, trying to reduce inflammation and pain (as well as trying to lose weight) with the Paleo diet. I was unable to maintain the diet while I was plastered to my bed with a locked up back, but I'm back baby. I've been buying grass fed USDA organic beef and making thes...

My work station today. It looks like I can't "wine" anymore since Facebook rejected one of my posts that included the "promotion" of alcohol due to a photo of a glass of wine. They said that it would encourage kids under the age of eighteen to drink. Isn't there a rule that sets the age limit for eighteen and over on Facebook? And why would one of my posts send some teenage kid on a drinking binge? Eh well, I guess I'm just a bad example. So yesterday I decided to take a ride with Madelene to bring Lola to the vet for her booster shots. I hobbled around a bit, but did quite well. As soon as we were done with dinner later that evening, my back locked up again while I was sitting down on the recliner. I could not get up and even when Mad helped me, it felt like she was removing my entire spinal cord out. It's been almost two weeks and I feel like I'm starting to lose my mind. I can't do anything. I still can't make the bed. (Mad! Please...

Sometimes I wonder if insomnia has a purpose. Maybe God's trying to say, "Come pray with me" or perhaps He keeps you up for five or more days just so you'll crash into your third rem stage in order to communicate with Him better. I haven't figured that out, but I found a few websites that fully believe in this god-driven method. Maybe it's a test, and let me tell you, if it's testing my lack of sanity and inability to maintain composure, then it worked. Let me just say what an irritable, cranky, over-emotional whack job I was during the six days I was awake. I had no filter. And I knew when it was coming on. By 10pm, we usually take the dog out for her last 'walk'. Then 11pm, I'm watching Seinfeld. This is my nightly ritual. Once it starts hitting midnight, it seems as though the numbers on the clock start flying off the handles. 1am, 2am, 3456  -WAKE UP! That's how fast it feels like. They say you should never look at the clock when you ...

There goes all my dinner parties... There is not one diet I haven't tried. There hasn't been one diet that has really worked for me, except for Weight Watcher's - but for me that was like a starvation project. I've always had issues with weight --  up and down and getting round -- so I decided to bite the bullet and do a no carb thing, perhaps even the Paleo diet, also known as "the caveman diet", suggested by my doctor friend who is guiding me right now, cringing at every mistake I make along the way. Paleo's focus (or in my opinion because I know I will get corrected on this which is fine) is on cutting all sugars out of your diet, including grains like wheat bread, pastas, starches and even beans. The list goes on about what you can't have, but there are some perks. I'm Italian so this is very difficult for me to eliminate pasta, however, I'm also allowed to eat all ~the evils~ that I was told not to eat by my family doctor. Foods inc...