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Showing posts from January, 2010

To Have & to Hold Another Wife...

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While having breakfast with Mad this morning, she said something very interesting commenting on a discussion we were having regarding a very combative friend of ours. “It’s not what they say - it’s what they don’t say.” I thought about it for a moment, since one of my friends typically says what’s on her mind, to where most of us would just remain quiet about it. It can lead into some heated debates and even some unnecessary arguments. I told Mad, “Well, I’m glad she says what she thinks and doesn’t hold it in, but at the same time, it can be surprising when she spews out her thoughts as well.” But then Mad went on to say even slower than before, “It’s not what they say - it’s. what. they. don’t. say.”   I finally “got it”. The basis of her words were set around motives; the reasoning behind the madness of someone being “too comfortable” telling you what’s on their mind at any given moment. I’d like to think that I’m pretty intuitive when it comes to people and their so called

Baby Talk

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Apparently I’m known to change my mind faster than a leprechaun drinking a pint of beer. I prefer to call them “second thoughts” or the “what if syndrome”. I think it’s pretty normal, but others find it peculiar, and downright annoying. I call it “just being me”. There is always a major decision in your life that you’re faced with, where you either have to say yey or nay - there’s no other choice and if you make no choice at all, you have made one indeed. Basically, whatever you do and whatever you don’t do - time will make the choice for you. My clock’s ticking. My life’s aspiration was never to be a soccer mom or even remotely close to being a parent. I have my own thing. Call it being selfish, call it what you’d like, but I am not a caretaker unless it’s my wife, and she’s pretty low maintenance. It all started roughly three months ago. We were talking about getting a dog. We’re both highly allergic to animals, and were looking at non-hypoallergenic small dogs, like a Shih T

My Favorite Bar & Grills

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Last night I originally planned on taking Madelene out for sushi in the city. We were going to walk around, window shop and take in the vibrant energy of Manhattan. Since she had a customer that held her up, we were running very late, so I suggested a local place, perhaps even an entire different type of place. We went to this bar & grill called The Savory Grill , (more so an expensive upscale restaurant with a pub inside) and sat at the way end. It’s not your typical “pub” either. Mad had a sandwich, while I had a burger plus a few drinks to boot, and it costed us about $60 bucks- but this place is so worth it. We’ve known the owners and employees for years. This place is hopping on a Friday night with such an interesting array of people, ages ranging from late 20’s well into the late 90’s. That’s why I love this bar so much. It’s one of the few establishments that has been around this area for more than 20 yrs. Most places usually close down after five months or so becau

Exposed

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Most knowledge comes from life experiences. The best thing a person can learn is what ‘not’ to do. They know better. It sometimes takes many trials and errors to figure out what does and doesn’t work, what should and shouldn’t be in your life and what you love, as well as what you dislike. And sadly, there are some that just don’t seem to learn no matter how hard life smacks them in the face. There are no wake up calls for that person, just the same day over and over with the same expectations and outcomes. They go around the same mountain a million times and expect to view a different scenery each and every trip. It has to get redundant. Believe me, I know... I’ve gone around that same mountain quite a few times. When I finally stopped and said, “no” - would you believe there were people traveling along with me begging me not to leave them? I hadn’t realized they were traveling with me this whole time. About a year ago, I became friendly with a person who I thought was brigh

To Keep A Friend...

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True friendships are rare and beautiful. Some are unconditional, while most are very conditional. There are friendships that are easy-going and ones that are very complicated. I used to develop friendships that were “too close”; close enough to the point of where they felt too comfortable blurting out the most outrageous comments or opinions without thoughts of repercussions on my end, and of course those people who have tried making the friendship more intimate than it already was, platonically. Through many trials and errors, I have learned to to keep a select few close and far many at arm’s length. Boundaries. It sounds like a rule book when you say it, but, regardless, each friendship needs boundaries of many levels. One of my biggest boundaries is mixing friendships with money or business. If they are already in the same line of work as me, then of course I’m going to be friends with them - but I never mix friends before business. A few years back I had lent some money to so

The Continuous Nightmare

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Who cares? What does it matter if we make it to the top or we stay within our mediocre limitations in life? We. all. die. What does it matter if we’re too rich, too poor? We can’t take our money with us when we die. Who cares if you’re too thin, too fat, too short, too tall? In the end, our bodies turn to ashes anyway. It’s all meaningless... or is it?   Some of us have easy lives, some of us have harder lives, regardless, it’s what we can do with what we have right “now”. Some people feel they can’t give to charity because they’re not “rich”, yet they’ll go out and buy a Starbucks coffee for $5.00. It’s our right to make choices with our own money; our decisions are our own and nobody can say otherwise. Maybe somehow, persuasion can be a revelation for some, making others realize how fortunate they really are. "Again I observed all the oppression that takes place in our world. I saw the tears of the oppressed, with no one to comfort them. The oppressors have great powe

The Best Medicine

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While walking out of the supermarket today, I had noticed a woman pushing her cart toward her car, which happened to be parked next to mine. She couldn’t be more than 35 or so, but what I noticed were tears streaming down her face as she placed each grocery bag into the trunk of her SUV. She didn’t appear to be sobbing - just tears that fell lightly down her cheek. I tried not to look so much, but my heart was breaking. Maybe this was the only time she could let out her emotions before she came home to a houseful of screaming kids or perhaps, a demanding husband. I was trying to imagine all sorts of scenarios in my head. Maybe someone in the supermarket insulted her? Maybe she just got a disturbing call on her cell phone? Regardless, it was none of my business. I felt the need to go up and console her, but she’d probably shift into her self-defense mode and insist that everything was okay. I hate to see other people hurting. Have you ever felt like there was absolutely no outle

When Friends Morph Into SPAM

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It’s certainly no big secret that I tend to speak my mind. I usually say what I’m thinking (and repressing) when someone pushes me far over the edge. I try to express my feelings as tactfully as I can, but sometimes you just have to wonder: when is it a good time to pop your cork and tell em’ what you really think? I certainly don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, and I know that some people have their own ways, but here’s where I draw the line... Over on my Facebook account, I have about 600 “friends”. Maybe 20 close friends, 3 siblings, a few ‘friends of friends’ and probably 200 acquaintances. The rest of the bulk are networked people through my line of work. I don’t mind when I get an event invitation or 500, because it’s their business, it’s their line of work. I “get it”. Some I attend, and some I just say no to. Some, I have to attend. No big deal. There is one person, who happens to be an old friend of mine. I’ve known her since forever. We'll sometimes bump into

"Thick" Minded

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To me, the world is like a big garden with a vast array of flowers, each unique in their own way. Not one flower is “prettier” than the other - they’re just different. People pick flowers according to their liking, not necessarily according what’s “best” in other people’s eyes. There may be a few weeds in the garden to pull some of these beautiful flowers down and make them feel less desired, but that doesn’t mean they were any less than the ones that were picked out to be placed in a beautiful bouquet. Each flower has their own scent, their own shape and size, and their own color and texture - all beautiful in a very different way. None can be compared to another. Society and especially the media has put much emphasis on being a size 0, or at least, as skinny as a rail. More and more teenagers as well as adults are developing eating disorders whether due to people judging them or because they have body dysmorphia - they see a fat person in the mirror while being at a healthy weig

Surfaced

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3 o’clock rolled around and it was time for my morning jolt of a double espresso. I walked into the local bakery instead of a Starbucks or a Duncan Donuts chain, and bumped into an old friend from years ago. We talked for a while and even had our coffee together to catch up a little. Earlier in the day, I had gotten into an argument with someone close to me. It definitely showed on my face and my friend isn’t the type to hold back not say anything. She called me out on it. Within a matter of five seconds, I tried to conjure up any excuse, “Didn’t sleep at all last night”, “Just getting over a cold”, “Sinuses”, “I just didn’t age well”, and the good ol’ “I’m just hungover.” I used to tell this friend every single thing about my life, but today was different. Today I felt censored. Today I was reprimanded by someone who had read my blog and basically threw a tantrum fit over my feelings. They were feelings of the past. Regardless of anything, I feel like my words, my actions as w

Morning's Epiphany

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Have you ever woken up to the most amazing idea or had an ‘ah-ha’ moment? Many thoughts and ideas come to me through my dreams. Usually, it’ll be something to write about or in the past, song lyrics since I use to be a songwriter. These days it’s been quite different though. I haven’t had one of these ‘ah-ha’ moments in a very long time, but let me first explain one thing... It’s usually when I’m hungover. Don’t ask why - I haven’t got a clue, but it just happens. I find it funny, because I’m quite the chatterbox whenever I wake up from a night out of fun. Maybe it’s equivalent to those great philosophers and artists who scheme up their best work while being under the influence of God knows what.  ...Nah. I’m nowhere near that, but I think you’ll find this little idea interesting though. While watching TV the other day, they were discussing how the government is trying to get everyone vaccinated for the H1N1 virus. I’m totally against it and will not be taking it. When doctors

SAD Tendencies

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Have you ever noticed a drastic change in your mood either due to your environment or the lack of daylight that you get in one day? Usually this time of year drives me insane because I start to develop SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder), which many people have and they simply don’t know about. During the winter months, the days shorten, which leads to less sunlight, less vitamin D and of course, less endorphins to give us that “happy jolt” in our brain. I’ve written about this many times, which is why it still amazes me that I wonder why some days I’m feeling extremely low, and other times I’m feeling extremely high. For instance, yesterday was freezing outside. We have a slight draft coming in from the sliding glass door near the living room area. I tend to close the blinds hoping that it’ll help keep things a bit warmer. I also have skylights in the living room, to which I close the blinds on those as well in hopes of a warmer home. This leads to a very dark, yet cozy condo. I

My New Year's Resolution

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There are days when you just feel like closing the door to the world and crawling back into your cocoon of safety. Everyone and everything seems to be crushing the last nerve of your patience. Everyone has an ax to grind. People are bitter over things that no longer matter anymore, and others simply get offended over things that you’re simply not aware of sometimes. They silently stew over unaccounted and untold actions, deliberately giving you the cold shoulder. As a new year resolution (which I normally detest), I have made a promise to give the gift of forgiveness - true forgiveness which involves “forgetting” as well. True forgiveness means never bringing the issue back up again. It means totally leaving it in the past. True forgiveness also means forgiving yourself and leaving everything in God’s hands. You never know, it may be too late when you finally decide to give the gift of forgiveness. Life's too short. “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words and sla