Saturday, December 04, 2021

Emotional Self-Preservation


"I'm Sorry."

After the last couple of years, and whatever it is that you may be personally going through, it's especially important to use the word "no" more often. I love the expression, "you do you"----because it's true. You need to make yourself feel at peace, and comfortable with each choice you make. This goes for absolutely anything. If you don't want to attend a holiday party, then don't go. Graciously decline. If you're asked to do something that is out of your comfort zone, there is nothing wrong with the word, "no," followed by a thank you of course. Don't apologize either. I have a bad habit of saying, "I'm sorry, but I can't." I also say to a person who is waiting on us in a restaurant, "I'm sorry, but can I bother you for another cup of coffee?" That entire sentence speaks volumes about yourself (or myself in this case.) I was always made to feel bad about asking for help, even if it was paid help. I was always made to feel bad about anyone doing anything for me. I still can't break the habit completely, but I'm getting better. Many people apologize when an apology isn't even needed. An unnecessary apology usually indicates you were made to feel bad about asking for help or setting boundaries somewhere, at some point in your life. 

Emotional Vampires

There is nothing wrong with lending an ear to someone who needs to vent, or helping someone out who needs a little assistance. But remember: your cup has to be filled before you can give. If your cup is full, do whatever you can at whatever comfort level you're at. If your cup is empty, explain to whoever that you need to cocoon for a while and recharge your batteries. Try to explain what you're going through (if you're comfortable enough) so the person understands, or simply say, "Another time, I'm going through a lot right now." And it's perfectly fine. But be mindful of those who just suck the living force right out of you---the people who meet you when your cup is full, and then leave you with your cup high and dry. I have an uncanny ability to see dark clouds around people. This is a whole other issue though. People who draw negativity into their lives (usually dabbling with more sinister spiritual or lifestyle practices) or those who keep opening up portals by being way too curious about the dark side, can literally drain your energy even if they're a mile away. This is a really hard one, because I had to distance myself from a friend years ago, because she was practicing witchcraft. She called herself a "white witch,"---but for me, a witch is a witch. It goes against every grain and every fiber of my being. Her energy (well intended energy) brought a slew of darkness. Whenever she left my home, I felt emotionally and physically drained. That feeling wouldn't leave me for quite a few days. 

There are also those who have way too many small problems that keep them from being happy. I call them the "Debbie Downers." Ironic, huh? I get depressed from time to time, and sometimes I'm irritated about something, but I refuse to inflict that on my friends and family. (Sometimes family ha!) They love me anyway. But my point is, if someone is too negative for you, set your boundaries. Don't feel bad about keeping them at arm's length. You need to not only physically survive in this world, but you also have to emotionally survive as well. If your negative friend calls you and does not even ask, "hey, how are you" at any point of the conversation, then it's a one way friendship. You are not anyone's therapist. Of course, you can help them all you want, be a good friend, but at what point do you start feeling like they don't even care about you? A friendship is a two way, beautiful relationship between those who respect one another. An imbalance of a friendship is a prelude to possible resentment and indifference. 

Uncomplicated

As we season beautifully like a fine wine (ok that's just pushing it) -- but as we age, we find ourselves less concerned over unnecessary drama. An uncomplicated friendship to me is having a cup of coffee with a good friend, talking about anything and everything, with tons of trust, with the ability to not get emotionally invested. And keep in mind, some people want to know your story, to only share your story with someone else. Put on your intuitive cap and be mindful. Share what you think "may" be shared with the public. Always keep that in the back of your mind, because there are a whole lotta gossip hens who want to do nothing but share your business to their other buddies. Be quiet about your personal life, especially your intimate life. About ten years ago, I was way too open for my own good. I shared something very personal with a friend, who didn't share it with other people, but they got emotionally invested and seemed angry toward me afterward. Months later, she admitted to me that she was jealous about a particular thing I had said to her. I had no way of knowing that it would make my good friend jealous. 

Also, make sure that when good things happen to you---your friend is genuinely happy for you. A true friend will be as happy as you are about whatever blessings came your way. Last night, I just found out a good friend bought her first house to be built from the ground up! I was so happy for her, I had tears in my eyes! She works so hard to get where she is. If you don't feel excitement and pure joy for your friend when they accomplish something they've dreamed of, or when they receive a huge blessing out of nowhere, then you truly don't like them at all. That's just psychology 101. If you find that after you receive a blessing, and someone in your life randomly drums up a whole lotta drama --- be mindful that they're most likely envious of whatever happened to you. There is zero positivity in that whatsoever. 

Anger

"Those who control their anger have great understanding; those with a hasty temper will make mistakes." --Proverbs 14:29

About a year ago when I was still drinking, the alcohol would keep my little "pandora's box" open at all times. I had no filter. Stuff came out of my mouth that even shocked myself. My behavior was ten times different than it is today. I couldn't believe how much of a change I went through since I put the bottle down. I observe more than I interact most times, because usually, people reveal their true nature if you let them go on. Even if it offends you, let them keep digging that proverbial hole in the friendship. 

"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but harsh words stir up anger." --Proverbs 15:1 

There's a difference between being direct with someone and calling them out their nonsense, rather than just going off on them about something that just irritates you. You always want honestly in someone. But once that person flips their lid on your and/or shows you their true colors---as that old saying goes, never try to repaint them again. Forgive and move on, but set your boundaries and never allow them to hurt you ever again. 

Red Flags

  • Your friend vents to you nonstop or seems to always be in crisis. 
  • Your friend never asks how you're doing or takes an interest in your life. 
  • Your friend has an endless list of needs and expectations. 
  • Your friend is never there for you when you need to vent. 
  • Your friend's problems are always bigger, worse, or more extreme than yours. 
  • Your friend uses guilt and manipulation when you're not there for them. 
  • Your friend is rarely happy for you and often struggles with envy and jealousy. 
  • Your friend wants all the attention and monopolizes the conversation. 
  • Your friend doesn't know how to move on or let things go. 
  • Your friend has low self-esteem and needs constant reassurance. 
  • Your friend lacks self-awareness. 
  • Your friend never thanks you for being there for them. 

Again, while it's ok to be there for anyone when they're in a crisis, make sure that your cup is full and that it's not a constant energy sucking fiasco every time you and this person are together. A friendship is a give and take, and once it's noticeably unbalanced, the friendship may be in trouble. 

For more of Deb's articles, please visit: www.debrapasquella.com or join her on Facebook and Twitter. Check out her cooking blog at DebsCucina.com for some of her famous recipes!

Wednesday, December 01, 2021

Witchcraft Disguised as Christianity


There was a time when I thought, "Why are all these bad things happening to me all at once?" They heavy depression, the fierce anxiety that struck out of nowhere and wouldn't let up. I even had intense anger over things that were so minuscule---I couldn't figure it out. It was only a few months after I had lost my mom. I even remember it was the end of September. I was so desperate to connect with my mom. I wanted to know if she was okay. I knew in my heart that seeing a medium was a sin. Ok ok, well God will forgive me just this once... I used to live stream and do cooking shows, and also talk about mental health. We had a nice group in there. People could call in and talk about what they were going through and I would try to relate by sharing my experiences. Well, one night while on the live stream, someone said, "Why is someone calling Lola in the background?" (That's my dog.) I chuckled and said nervously, I have no clue. Then minutes later, another question... 

"Rose is right behind you giggling." 

I stopped. That's my mom.

I clicked on the name, which had a VIP badge on it (usually meaning a legit well known person with many followers, etc.) He was a psychic medium. Everyone was saying hello to him as if he was a celebrity. 

I honed in on him. 

"Tell me more..." 

He went on to tell me that she's okay, and she loves me---very generalized things you'd expect your mama to say if she was on the other side. I sort of became disinterested and moved back into the prior discussion we were all having.

"You found three pocket watches, didn't you?" he wrote.

I actually did and I knew one in particular was special to my mom. She hung it around the huge lamp that sat on her nightstand. The other two were sitting in the same box. One silver with a chain and a glass cover, and the other one was gold with just a small chain. Keep in mind I was upstairs in my office, while all their belongings were downstairs in a room. 

"Please get the silver one with the hands pointing to the three and nine. That particular one meant a lot to your father. Did your dad pass too? Because he's here and making himself known." 

Everyone in the room started egging me on to literally take my phone and video me going downstairs to find this. I set the phone on a table in the living room while I went to get the pocket watches. I found the silver one with the hands facing the three and the nine.

I came back to the camera, and dangled the pocket watch that described what he was talking about. 

After all of the "wows" and "ooohs" ---I sort of let it go. I was scared to go further, because in my heart, I knew it was wrong, and I knew that who he was talking to were not my parents. They were what's called "familiar spirits." They can tell you every experience you ever had with a deceased loved one, making you think that it's them. Now, I do believe that your loved ones can give you messages and talk to you in some cosmic way, but going through a medium or relying on or (praying) to your deceased loved one is dangerous. Dangerous --- meaning ---- these spirits can attach themselves to you. Yes, God will forgive you, but it's not just that. It's a battle that you are about to take on that you wish you never had. And I had to go through mine. 

Days later, this medium's words still resonated with me. It echoed in my mind a million times. One afternoon as I was driving, I stopped into this local cafe that had just opened up. They make really good Ethiopian and Colombian coffee. It's definitely a brew that'll put hair on your chest. As I waited for the barista to grind my beans and brew his 'magic' --- the female owner said, "Would you like to meet our in house medium? She's a wonderful psychic and does tarot cards, but if your faith  doesn't allow, we understand. (NO one has ever did a business intro with calling out my faith.)  Then I see this woman come out of a black curtain, probably in her late twenties, long black hair, a bit eclectic and on the hippyish side. 

"Hi!" she said, reaching out for my hand. Of course I shook her hand and said hello. But something drew me to her. Her personality was warm, caring, and her eyes seemed to look straight into my soul with this compassionate energy wrapped around the both of us. I felt a sense of safety. And during this time in my life, I was so incredibly lonely, because I had isolated myself from all my friends and family due to my crippling grief. I just wanted to talk to somebody---anybody.

"I would love a reading!" 

She ordered a coffee for herself as well. She made it a casual 'one on one', where I just felt like I was talking to a friend. We first discussed that we were both Italian. She grew up in an Italian household, so of course the conversation of food and Sunday dinners came up, and she didn't forget about the wooden spoon. I had the inclination that she would've been too young to have had experienced the wrath of the wooden spoon, but she related to all of it. She seemed like an old soul. When I mentioned that, she said, "I get that a lot." She lost her mother at a young age, so right there---I knew that she knew how much pain I was in.

So now that we had established a connection, she honed in on my vulnerabilities. She said a bunch of things that anyone would've guessed, being that they lost their favorite person in the world. She also stated the fact that I was lonely. Well, yeah, I'm in a cafe all by myself drinking coffee and getting a tarot reading....so yeah, pretty lonely to be doing this. 

Moving on. 

Days later I started getting the worst panic attacks in the morning. I would wake up and immediately vomit. The dry heaving spells took a heavy toll on my chest and back muscles. I was in such pain but yet, couldn't stop these weird episodes. Then, I started to get sick. I came down with the flu which put me into the hospital. I had what's called pleurisy. It's inflammation of the lining of your lungs caused by pneumonia. It causes intense pain when breathing. I literally. had to raise both arms up in order to get air into my lungs. I was hooked up to steroid drips, nebulizers, antibiotics for the pneumonia and ended up with all sorts of eye infections. My asthma made it even worse. I ended up losing all function of my voice. I had damaged my vocal cords from the constant coughing, which made my voice sound much different after I recovered. I literally almost died. While sleeping, I sounded like someone had placed a harmonica in my mouth. This lasted until January. I was the sickest I had ever been in my whole entire life.

It didn't stop just there. One night, (well morning actually) at 3am, I was in the living room reading an article because I couldn't sleep. Out of nowhere, I heard someone call out, "Debbie!" It was my mom's voice. I *audibly* heard this---it was not in my head. She called my name and sounded so excited that she got through the veil in order for me to hear her audibly. Now, you would think this would've made me feel excited and entertain it---but something felt dark about it---real dark. So I ran back inside my bedroom and put the covers over my head. The next day, I prayed so hard to rid of whatever and whoever was pretending to be my mom. During this time, strange things would happen around my house, lights flickered, footsteps were heard walking down the hallway, and I would feel someone touch my forehead at night. None of these things felt comforting. 

During that entire time, I always had things like, singing bowls, sage, and used yoga as a meditative tool to relax. I held crystals and healing stones that were from a store that even sells things for witchcraft. But I just shrugged that part off, and focused on the positive side. There was no positive side. I not only experienced intense anxiety and fear, and depression. Along came the suicidal ideations and one attempt that almost took my life. There was a huge oppressiveness upon me that was so incredibly hard to get rid of. I couldn't sleep because I was experiencing myoclonic jerks and seizures, which is caused from anxiety. I went to a million doctors about this and no one knew what to do for me. 

The more I spoke to my friend, Jackee, who would do these prayer live streams, it finally dawned on me why I was going through such a horrific time. Sometimes, I would just listen to her live streams, while other times, she would call me and literally pray over me, and my entire house. She told me a few things. In her slight southern accent, she said, "Boo boo, you gotta get rid of that singing bowl and a few other things that are taking away your peace." I had no idea what she meant. She also warned me about yoga. I said, "But they have Christian yoga." And she said, "Girl, they also have Christian witchcraft---please listen to me. Objects have energy. Get rid of all of that and stay away from any yoga practices!" 

Here's why yoga is so dangerous. When you perform a yoga pose, you are asking the Kundalini spirit to rise up and enter your spine (chakras.) The only spirit you want in you is the Holy Spirit. In an article by Martin Booe, he states: "Too much Kundalini awakening too fast is not without peril. Problems can arise when Kundalini energy is diverted into the side channels that flank the spinal cord -- known as the ida and pingala. This phenomenon is sometimes called a "spiritual emergency." Along with feelings of ecstasy and bliss, the yogi may experience a number of unpleasantly intense signs that include burning or even searing sensations, intense spasms, vibrating and jerking. Uncontrollable emotions can arise so strongly, in fact, that the process can resemble a psychotic breakdown according to clinical psychologist, Bonnie Greenwell in her book "Energies of Transformation." Some people who were abused as children may feel great fear as the awakening unlocks long-repressed memories of trauma or violation." 

The vibrating and jerking is what I was experiencing, which would keep me up till 4am every single night. It almost drove me nuts, until I knew what it was stemming from. I'm still reeling in from it. Occasionally I still get these jerks at night, which keeps me in check with my prayer time. 

This affects your nervous system so badly, that it can take years to recover from. As Martin Booe also states, "As with any electrical system, a power surge of Kundalini can damage the grid, causing grave mental and physical illness. While the channels through which Kundalini travels do roughly correlate with the nervous system, Kundalini is a subtle energy form that can't be measured like ordinary nerve circulation is." 

Mental and physical illness. This is not the yoga I thought it was. And it surprises me to see so many dedicated Christians falling for this, without researching its origins. I was one of them! If it wasn't for my dear friend, Jackee, I wouldn't have made it out alive. Her faith in God and her prayers were so powerful, it led me to seek out other things that I was being deceived by. 

And I know when I talk about these things, people think I'm some kinda crazy Christian. Yes, I'm crazy, but I'd be crazy not to look more into this sort of stuff. Be mindful of what you put into your body---not just nutritional-wise. I suffered for such a long time because I wasn't looking deeper into what I was "enjoying." It felt good. That's what I liked about it. How can something that feels so good, be so bad? Think about it.

What objects are in your home that possess evil or negative energy? 

It took a whole lotta coercing for me to let go of my singing bowls. For one, it made me feel good---made me feel peaceful before my prayer and meditation. The resonating sound would send tingles down my spine. It made it feel as though the air was cleared. But the truth is, many use this as a source of contacting spirits, as well as it being used for witchcraft. One can argue that they've been using this tool, like any other instrument in churches for years. But many churches aren't what they appear to be either. I swept through my home, and got rid of things I knew were possibly affecting my wellbeing. Singing bowls, crystals, stones, even gifts that were given to me by people I knew were pagan/Wiccan.

With constant prayer and connection to God, repentance and healing, I found my peace. It took a while, but things started happening to me that I couldn't possibly explain. Good things were starting to happen. We found a townhome that was remarkably inexpensive. I kept asking, "What's wrong with it?" But it was perfect! On top of that, one day I was looking for my keys in my purse, and grabbed a bunch of crisp $50 dollar bills that added up to $700.00 --- the amount we needed for part of our closing costs. I kept asking everyone--who dropped this in my purse? It looked like it came straight out of an ATM. Not one crease whatsoever. I even did a live stream on Periscope showing everyone what had happened. The thing is, I never brought this purse with me. I always left my purse in the car. (My purse never holds anything of value---it's a big bag for water, Advil, tissues, gum, and other miscellaneous clutter.) But someone physically had to have put that money in there, and for the life of me, I still can't figure it out. They money didn't stop coming. We were blessed to have had the entire townhome redone with hard wood floors and painted every room a different color. 

In all honesty, I thought after we lost our house, we would've ended up in a studio apartment on top of some bar somewhere. Hey---I'm not too proud to live in small quarters, but I seriously thought we may have gone homeless for a while. Getting out of this oppressiveness led us into better health and better financial situations. 

I will never risk my mental, spiritual and physical health again by seeking out a medium or dabbling into things that are considered "witchcraft." It's not worth it---trust me. It seems so innocent, yet it will rip you of everything you cherish, like your mental health, your physical health, your spiritual health and put you into a pit of depression that you can't fight off by yourself. But if you call on the name of the Lord, with genuine intent to repent and seek a new life---watch what happens. And don't forget to thank Him, and whoever (our earth angels) who guided us there too. (Thank you, Jackee.) 

If you made it this far into my write up---thank you for reading. I pray that whatever you are struggling with today, that God will heal and restore you like new. Be willing to give up some of the crutches that are making you stumble spiritually. You won't regret it, I promise. 

Please remember: psychics, mediums and practicing yoga are all harmful for your spiritual and physical wellbeing. It is all witchcraft. Many people are practicing these things not realizing it's all a part of witchcraft. Get rid of the crystals, the stones, the pentagram (five pointed star.) It does not represent anything good. If satanists use it---why would you? They say it represents the five elements of this earth---but we are not of this world. Don't be deceived. Do some cleaning and watch the blessings start flowing.

For more of Deb's articles, please visit: www.debrapasquella.com or join her on Facebook and Twitter. Check out her cooking blog at DebsCucina.com for some of her famous recipes!

Thursday, November 18, 2021

Missing a Loved One During the Holidays


As much as I would love to be an optimistic person, grief never fully leaves. It may take a break here and there, but eventually, it'll show up at your door unannounced to remind you of the empty chair that'll be there during Thanksgiving. It'll remind you of that gnawing void inside you when Christmas Eve and New Year's comes rolling around. Don't even get me started on anniversaries and birthdays. New losses require a whole lotta' TLC. I remember my first everything without my mom and dad. Does it get better? I don't know. I just know it gets a bit different. Same pain, different game. I'm able to let my mom's legacy live on by making her famous recipes, or maybe just going to the same familiar places we used to go to. 

Especially with the longer nights and shorter days upon us, we can start to feel much more heavy hearted. We turn to food, alcohol, and maybe even drugs. Many of us try to self-soothe ourselves with various vices. I have no advice for anyone, other than to say, whatever works for you---do it. If it makes you feel comforted and calmer---do it. If it makes you feel a sense of joy---do it. But in the process, don't neglect your own personal health and wellness. 

You might feel irritated by someone else's advice. Someone might try to comfort you by saying, "Well, my sister won't be here for Thanksgiving, so I'm going to still put a plate out for her," while your mother has been deceased for a few years. It's not the same. Your sister is still alive---she's just not attending your holiday. Know the difference of circumstances when trying to comfort someone. Some people try too hard, and it comes off as if they're downplaying your shattered heart, when they actually had good intentions behind it. 

I'd like to attend my family's Thanksgiving, but I honestly feel I don't know them any longer. I love each and every one of them, but through a lack of contact, and without blame, we've become more like strangers. It's sad, because all of us are less than fifteen minutes away from one another. So attending a family function seems awkward at this point. When my mom died, it felt like my family kind of fell apart, even though we all still love one another and share childhood memories together. Mom was definitely the glue that held us all together. So, it's different. I feel like I'm also grieving for a family I once had. And that's okay. I just have to go through the process and send them lots of love in the meantime. 

If you're missing someone right now and feeling like your heart is breaking into tiny little pieces, you're not alone. There's nothing wrong with reinventing our lives, to where we can one day stand on our own two feet and be okay. Accept 'what is' and keep sending love and positive thoughts to whoever it is you miss. Raise your vibration with prayer and meditation. Focus on the people who are present with you today. Appreciate everyone who is in your life, and know that anything is possible. Keep a light on for those who have been MIA. One day, they may knock on your door because they miss you too. For those who were taken away from us too soon, send them love because without a doubt, they can feel that. 

For more of Deb's articles, please visit: www.debrapasquella.com or join her on Facebook and Twitter. Check out her cooking blog at DebsCucina.com for some of her famous recipes!

Friday, October 29, 2021

Cross to Bear

Our lives, as different as it may seem, are somehow intertwined with similar events. Some lifestyles are dramatically different, but we still go through situations where we're dealing with illnesses (of various kinds), deaths, a loss of a relationship, divorce or a loss of an animal. We can relate to at least one thing, even if we're so incredibly different. I think that's where empathy comes in. Some people have a lot, while others may seem to be lacking. So here are my thoughts on that. 

This is an old story about a man who wanted to change out his life's problems for somebody else's life problems. Although it's a lengthy story, it's so worth the read: 


The story is told of a man who goes to Jesus wanting to trade out his cross for a better one. He tells the Lord, "I see the crosses that others are carrying and theirs are much more bearable than mine. Why does my cross have to be so cumbersome and heavy? Other people carry their cross with ease and mine is hindering my day to day life.” Jesus leads the man to a room full of crosses. Some are big and others are small. 

The man is instructed to put down his cross and then go select a new cross. The only stipulation was once he made his selection he could never complain or exchange his cross again. 

He searches for hours on end. The big crosses were just as he assumed very large and very heavy. He knew there was no way he could ever carry those crosses. The smaller crosses were shockingly painful. Some had stickers that constantly stuck you in the shoulder or back reminding you of the beams you were bearing. Others were oddly shaped and rubbed the neck raw. 

Finally the man came upon a cross that was perfect for him. Not too big but not too little. There were no sharp prodding objects and it rested perfectly on his shoulder so it would not irritate him as he carried it. 

The man cried out, “Here it is Lord.” Jesus asked the man, “Are you sure? Remember there are no trades or exchanges and no more complaining about your cross.” The man replied, “I am sure. This is the perfect cross for me.” To which Jesus replied, ‘My child, that is the cross you carried in with you today.”

Have you ever felt like other people have it easier than you do? They seemingly go through life without stumbling, and can do everything without complaining?  I remember years ago, I met an old friend for lunch. We both had changed so much in so many ways. She started her family at a very young age. She had four children, and then had two kids later on in life. Her hands were full. On social media, you saw all the vacation pictures of them smiling, having fun, playing games and surrounded by so many family and friends. I always loved seeing their beach trips, their ski trips and their hikes up the Mist Trails near the Nevada Falls. Everything seemed just perfect. It was like photos straight out of a magazine of the perfect family. 

As she drank her third glass of wine, she said, "You are so incredibly lucky, Deb." I laughed, almost spitting up my own drink thinking, "I have not left this town in years!" She said, "No, not that--I mean, you get to do what you want when you want and there are no kids screaming for you every second of the day." 

I paused and just looked at her without saying one word...without judgment. 

"If I had to do it all over again, it would just be my husband and I--no kids. I don't regret having them, because of course, I love them very much, but I would just want it to be my husband and I exploring the world together." 

There was nothing I could've said to that. I also didn't want to make her feel like her feelings were invalid. She felt what she felt and she was honest to a flaw. Here I am thinking about how many times we tried to have kids, or looked into adopting, and in later years, wondered about 'what if I missed out' on having kids. I always thought it must've been nice to have a large family as she did. Some do genuinely enjoy that kind of life, but she felt as though she was missing out in life somehow, even with all that traveling and family togetherness. I saw it so differently than she did, but then again, I wasn't struggling to raise six kids. 

Then you have the flip side of the situation, where you have a large family, and then go through a divorce, end up losing your kids, and find yourself sitting in your living room wishing it were family night again. It's all so subjective and personal. No loss is greater than another. And no life is greater than another. Also, no life is harder than another---no matter how much you try to justify it. Life itself is hard nonetheless, whether emotionally, physically, spiritually, financially, 'howeverly' (yes, I know that's not a word) --but you get my drift. Do not compare your life with someone else's. You'll torture yourself and realize, you would pick out your own cross too. I won't even say the grass is greener cliché. 

When you find yourself in a situation where another friend says, "I'm just so overwhelmed and stressed right now," --- try not to say, "Well aren't we all?" Instead, try saying, "I know." And you do---because you have your own struggles too. Maybe just listen instead of comparing. And if you need to reference your own story, do so, but let that person vent to you first. Let them talk, instead of giving them a "bigger story" of your own. Validate their feelings. Let them know it's okay to feel that way. One of my pet peeves are when people try to 'outdo' someone else's story. It's so common to do, and sometimes we don't even realize we're doing it. In a lighter kind of conversation---yes this is great. But on a deeper level, never compare 'worse vs. worse.' It makes people feel like they have no right to grieve over whatever situation they're sad about. 

When I'm trapped in my own pity party of one, I list down things that I'm grateful for. It helps put things in perspective for me. What's good in your life? What makes you happy about what you have? How grateful are you to wake up with air in your lungs, a hot cup of coffee or someone to wake up to? The richest people in the world want one thing: what they already have. They're not chasing after the next best thing---they're thanking God every single day for every blessing that's ever been bestowed upon them. And if you're fortunate enough to have many blessings in your life, the beauty of sharing is never regretful---monetary or not. No one has ever gone poor by giving---and that's a fact. We all have crosses to bear, some seemingly more difficult than others, but challenging nonetheless, no matter what you may think.

For more of Deb's articles, please visit: www.debrapasquella.com or join her on Facebook and Twitter. Check out her cooking blog at DebsCucina.com for some of her famous recipes!


Wednesday, October 20, 2021

Is There a Cure To Anxiety?


Panic attacks and anxiety disorder can be debilitating to live with. I bet you can remember your first real panic attack---how you felt, the pins and needles, the breathlessness, and the pounding heart. It's scary and we automatically assume that something must be wrong with us. I've been reading the book, "Dare," by Barry McDonagh. It's a book based off the teachings of Dr. Hazel Claire Weekes. Weekes found that many of her patients suffered from anxiety disorders, such as agoraphobia, panic attacks, phobias, generalized anxiety disorder, and obsessive-compulsive disorder. In her books, she chose to avoid the term "nervous breakdown", as much as possible, as she considered the term unscientific and unnecessarily alarming. She also avoided the term "Anxiety State", as she felt it was too "medical". She decided to replace the terms with "Nervous Illness" instead. 

She was concerned by the severe long-term effect the disorders had on her patients' lives and by the failure of psychiatric treatments such as psychoanalysis, that many had tried. Instead, she developed her own unique treatment program. She noted, for example that patients did not suffer from these problems because they had flawed personalities or traumatic childhoods. Rather, the problems were caused by the patient having a habit of fear-avoidance, made worse, or caused, by a very responsive "sensitized" nervous system. She was critical both of Freudian approaches and of attempts by behaviorists to "desensitize" their patients using relaxation. This method is meant to cure anxiety---not to just cope with it. That's why doctors are against it. 

This is different than just everyday kind of stress. This is a panic attack, which develops a fear of another panic attack. This vicious cycle ultimately creates "anxiety disorder." Barry McDonagh explains it like this: there's flash anxiety and response anxiety. Let's say you're taking a shower, and all of the sudden, you find yourself gasping for air, your heart's pounding and you feel like you're going to pass out. Note one thing---you can never pass out because of a panic attack because most of the oxygen produced in the fight or flight response goes directly to your brain. Anxiety "disorder" is created when we find ourselves fearing another panic attack. It's the avoidance of going to the same place where we had the panic attack. Some people will avoid the shower! If they had the panic attack in a grocery store, most will avoid shopping at all costs. I remember having a terrible panic attack while I was stuck in traffic driving toward New Jersey one day. I was in the left lane and I couldn't pull over even if I wanted to. My heart started pounding, the palms of my hands started sweating and I truly thought I was going to die. As soon as I pressed the SOS button in my car, once the representative said, "Hi Debra, how can we assist you today?" The traffic started moving, and so I said, "I'm so sorry! I hit the button by accident trying to find the light." He wasn't bothered at all, and life went on--so did the traffic. But after that episode, I avoided high traffic areas, or going out of town by myself. 

The techniques both Dr. Weekes and Barry McDonagh uses helps so much, that (knock on wood) I haven't had a panic attack since. And when I feel one coming on, I respond totally differently now. So when you feel one coming on, invite it in. "Bring it on! Let me find out more about you!" Invite the panic attack to come on stronger. Your heart is meant to palpitate from time to time and work a little faster. Your brain has an innate response to each issue or function in your body. Maybe your body needs to release a little energy, so you feel your heart pounding a little faster. Let it. Your heart is healthy and strong. (Assuming you have been checked out by a doctor with unknown health issues.) Whenever I feel my heart trying to speed up, I just think of it as an easy exercise session. I don't even have to move. But it doesn't last long, because my brain already said, "Who cares!" 

It works.

If you already know me, you know my avoidances. You know that I get Instacart way too much. I'm not a fan of going into crowded restaurants. Well, so far during the past couple of weeks, I have gone shopping in a large grocery store and made it out alive. I have gone to farms and shops outside of my comfort zone. I have also went out to dinner with my better half and had an amazing time. I didn't even have an ounce of anxiety whatsoever. I also know that there will be setbacks, like in recovery in anything. Maybe it'll set me back some, but I'm trying my hardest to do things that are UN-COM-FORT-ABLE. What's the difference between a panic attack at home and one in a grocery store, or one in the middle of traffic? They all can be managed regardless. 

The book goes into great detail about each circumstance. You can get the audiobook (which is great too) or the hard copy. I seriously recommend this book because it goes against the grain of textbook psychology. In fact, many psychologists and big pharma would advise against this book because they know they'll lose money if everyone tries this approach. 

Give it a shot! 

For more of Deb's articles, please visit: www.debrapasquella.com or join her on Facebook and Twitter. Check out her cooking blog at DebsCucina.com for some of her famous recipes!

Friday, October 15, 2021

If They Gossip About Others, They'll Gossip About You Too


Generally, I love people. I love the uniqueness of what each individual can bring to the table, whether they teach you something, give you companionship, share a cup of coffee with you or just say nothing at all while you vent. Some friends can be great sounding boards. But it should be even more than that---a bond, a 'knowing' that, "Hey, I got your back--" and a trusting of some kind. For me that's important. That's what I look for in a friend. Humor is a plus. But sometimes, humor isn't needed 24/7. Too much humor can belittle someone else's feelings sometimes...depends on what it is of course. 

Religious Talk

Through experience, I've learned a few things. This may sound blunt, but this is how I think and sometimes, I'm wrong. As a Christian, I don't bring up God to my friends or try to get them to hop on the bandwagon to get baptized and start dancing in some born again church somewhere. If they ask me about my relationship with God, I am more than happy to answer. I'm not ashamed of God---as you can see from my blog. Most of my close friends and family know about my blog, so they have all the info they need if they want to know where I stand. Religion and politics should kinda be on the back burner. If you want someone to know about your God or spiritual practices, then just be a good example of it. 

Sexual (Unnecessary) Stories

Anything of a sexual nature makes me uncomfortable. For instance, detailed events of what you did last night is none of my business. In light 'general speaking of'---that's fine. But detailed smut---please no. I don't want to visualize my friends in any sexual extravaganza, or if they were hanging off the chandeliers in leather suits. Save it, with all due respect. 

The Childless Giving Parental Advice

There's also an unspoken rule about people giving advice about parenting. If you don't have kids, your advice should be taken with a grain of salt. Sorry, but that's the way it works. I could never tell some mother or father how to raise their child. Never. I can listen, have a compassionate ear, maybe tell my thoughts if asked, but I am not the person to rely on for parental advice. People who jump at the chance to tell you how to parent, when they have no children are not the right ones to talk to. 

If They Gossip About Others, They'll Gossip About You

I only trust very few. And it's sad, because I want to trust everyone. One of the biggest red flags to look when seeing if you can trust a friend is, if they are gossiping about everybody else. Because if they gossip to you, they'll gossip about you. I shut it right down. I can see chatting about an event that happened---but this is different. I'm talking about discussing someone in a derogatory way. If you insult a mutual friend, and trying to poison me with your skewed outlook of them, I will shut it down right away. I will never tell you anything personal again. If the person lies even once, then everything out of their mouth is questionable and not to be trusted. You can still be friends with these people, (if you want) but never tell your personal issues to them. I've had my shizizzle blasted to so many people, the game of telephone had me "knocked up and married in Vegas somewhere." 

The 'Entertaining' Pathological Liars

People love to tell a good story, especially insecure people. They want to be entertaining, funny and witty. But when it comes at the expense of insulting the people who you care about, it becomes more of an evil attempt to look good, when in fact like they look like complete fools. Some are pathological liars just for the mere chance to appear entertaining. They need a good story like a tabloid journalist. They gotta be the first ones to tell you too. And 70% of their stories are fabricated. It's actually a psychological personality disorder. Just know who you're dealing with before divulging personal info, because it'll get elaborated and printed out to the masses. They usually exaggerate things, they keep on changing their stories, and they live in a false sense of ‘reality.’ If confronted, they act defensive and never admit that they are liars. Lastly, they hold no value for truth. Usually, it is observed that people with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), bipolar disorder, and borderline personality disorder resort to lying compulsively. So to give them credit, it may not be intentional. It may be a disorder that they can't help. 

In the bigger scheme of things, it's always great to be welcoming. I always say, give everyone the benefit of the doubt until they show you otherwise.  But if they've already shown you their true colors more than once, don't try to paint another picture of them. You can either just accept them (with the knowledge of never divulging personal info) and keep it kind of surfaced, or you can simply get the hell outta Dodge! 

For more of Deb's articles, please visit: www.debrapasquella.com or join her on Facebook and Twitter. Check out her cooking blog at DebsCucina.com for some of her famous recipes!

Wednesday, September 22, 2021

The Waves of Grief


It's been four long years since I've seen my beautiful mama's face, and yet it feels just like yesterday when I hugged her before she went into the ambulance for the last time. People handle grief so differently, and not way is the right way---your way is what counts. There is no 'right' or 'wrong' too grieving. When my dad died nine years ago, it was such a strange feeling. The long drawn-out, excruciating suffering that went on made is passing more of a sad relief. We were all quiet. Grief struck differently, in waves, and for myself, it came a bit after his funeral. I had already experienced the 'anticipatory grief,' as he was suffering at the end. I remember his funeral all too well. I was greeting people as they came in, while my mom sat in the front with her sister and friend. The memorial video was set up to make people laugh and cry. Some video footages of my dad captured his very essence: funny and 'colorful' with his words. 

Laughter Is the Best Medicine 

As a friend of my sister's approached me, someone who I normally joke around with. He gave his condolences, and I said thank you, along with a funny comment to lighten it up, and then he said to me, "This is not the place to be making jokes. Not appropriate." I said, "Who are you to tell me how I can grieve or what I can do at my own father's funeral?" People there were reminiscing about my dad, telling their funny stories 'of a time when' and it was okay to laugh. There's nothing like being yourself and being genuine when sending someone off for the very last time. 

It's okay to laugh. It's okay to smile. It's okay to wear loud colors at the funeral if you want. Do you truly think the deceased is calculating the details? I know for me, if I was floating around looking at my own funeral, I would tell people to chill the frig out and lighten up. Death is not the end, and people who are grieving need laughter like you don't even know. 

The best thing that happened to me after my mama died was Madelene's sister who was staying with us. She helped us so much. It was so nice to hear laughter in the other room, or someone with a lightheartedness to eat dinner with. I know that without a doubt, I would've been crippled with unbearable grief if she wasn't there. She kept Madelene company when I had to run to my bedroom and cry my eyes out. And then afterwards, I came back out to join them by the fire pit, or at the dinner table to at least be around some positivity. It was needed. 

Don't ever feel guilty for smiling, laughing, joking or doing something that you enjoy while you're grieving. It's all part of the process. Grief comes in waves, and when the waves of happiness and laughter come crashing through, take that opportunity and soak it in. Let it stay for a while, until the next wave comes, where you can purge your heart out. All of it is okay. 

Numbing the Pain

I made the mistake of numbing the pain with countless bottles of wine. I drank so much that it started affecting my heart and giving me arrhythmia. I already was suffering from "broken heart syndrome," and drinking like there was no tomorrow only made things worse. I didn't know why my heart was beating at 200 bpm, and why I was constantly at the ER. My cardiologist finally said, "One day, your heart is just gonna get tired." I knew from that point on, I would never touch a drink again. The alcohol dilates your blood vessels making the heart work harder. In stressful situations, it can cause what's called, tachycardia, (a fast heart rate.) With time, this can turn into afib -- atrial fibrillation. Some people who have this condition are often carted off into the emergency rooms usually after Thanksgiving or Christmas Eve due to eating and drinking way too much. They call this, "holiday heart syndrome." Needless to say, numbing my grief with alcohol prolonged my grief a great deal. I never fully got to purge my heart out properly. After I quit drinking, the emotions rose to the service and I was able to get it all out---well, most of it out. But now I'm at a place of acceptance that I've never experienced before. I still get sad here and there, but it's not debilitating any longer. I don't lose days over it. But this is a personal issue I had to work through. Everyone is different, so if a glass or two of wine helps you to unwind at night, then I say have at it. But if you see that it becomes a struggle to get through the next day, you might want to reel it in. 

Where Did Everyone Go?

With grief comes the absence of friends sometimes. Sadly, this is a very common occurrence and often happens after the funeral itself. All the calls, the voicemails and texts start getting less and less. The offers of "what can I do" become nonexistent, and you find yourself standing in the middle of your living room alone. There's a couple of reasons for this. Remember, your friends and family are also possibly grieving, where they're unable to even help themselves right now, and some people feel awkward to call, or they feel bad and don't want to bother you. They may think that you're surrounded by grieving family and don't want to become a burden on you. Others may feel a sense of fear that this may happen to them, and so even the thought or inclination of this happening in their own lives may cause them to pull away for a short period of time. It's all fear-based. It may be 'too close to home' for them to handle, not realizing that their friend needs them right now. This is also normal and very common. Just learn to forgive and focus on your own wellness and healing. 

Psychics and Mediums

Stop. Do you seriously believe a psychic is drumming up your deceased loved one? Or would you rather believe that your loved one is in the hands of your God? When psychics drum up anything, they're called, "familiar spirits." Familiar spirits is not of God---they are demons and they know everything about you. They know about the locket you have hidden in your nightstand where you sleep, and they can also recall that time at the beach where you lost your flipflop and had to walk barefoot on the boardwalk. They will conjure up memories and items that there is no possible way for anyone else to know. But don't believe it is your loved one. This is a portal where spirits can actually follow you, attach themselves to you and wreak havoc in your life. Anything that has to do with psychics, oracle cards, tarot cards, crystals or saving ceremony is all a part of witchcraft. Please be careful. These are my own beliefs backed up by the Bible. 

"Do not turn to mediums or necromancers; do not seek them out, and so make yourselves unclean by them. I am the Lord your God."---Leviticus 19;31

"If a person turns to mediums and necromancers, whoring after them, I will set my face against that person and will cut him off among his people." ---Leviticus 20:6

"Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world." ---1 John 4:1

"And no wonder, for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light." ---2 Corinthians 11:14

If you're a Christian and seeking out mediums and psychics, this can be detrimental for your salvation! I did this too and found out the hard way. 

For instance, when my mom died, I remember sitting in my living room at 3am reading something online. I heard my mom's voice calling out, "Debbie!!!" (As if she was excited to get through the veil.) Now, whether or not it was her is the question, but something didn't feel right. My spirit knew it wasn't her. It was the devil mocking her voice to get me to inquire more about spirits and ghosts. I ran out of the room and jumped into my bed and cried out for Jesus. I remember that so vividly too. So now when I 'hear' from my mom, it's a subtle hint, like her birthday numbers coming up, or a feather on the ground, even dimes and a seashell I found on our lawn. Weird stuff that can't be explained. Treasure the little gifts that your loved ones' spirits can bring, but don't seek them out with theses psychics....please. 

The best way for me to honor my loved ones, is keeping their legend alive. Whatever your loved one did, try to replicate it or celebrate it. I take all of my mom's recipes and recreate her dishes. We used to cook together, so she used to show me how to make soups and how to make a good Sunday sauce. My dad was also a good cook and I remember him teaching me how to cut properly with good knives. I can tell you other things I learned from Dad, but I'd probably go to jail. (ha) 

Let it All Out

Your grief is your own. Let it come out when you feel it---don't hold it in. Remember, your tears are letting out stress hormones. You know how they say, "crying is good for you?" Believe it. Studies of the various kinds of tears have found that emotional tears contain higher levels of stress hormones than do reflex tears (the ones that form when you get something in your eye). Emotional tears also contain more mood-regulating manganese than the other types. Stress "tightens muscles and heightens tension, so when you cry you release some of that---crying activates the parasympathetic nervous system and restores the body to a state of balance. That's why you feel a relief afterwards. 

Take care of you, because in most cases, nobody else is going to do it. They may try, but you're the best person who knows how to make you feel better. Pray continuously and know that you're not alone. God is with you every step of the way.

For more of Deb's articles, please visit: www.debrapasquella.com or join her on Facebook and Twitter. Check out her cooking blog at DebsCucina.com for some of her famous recipes!


Friday, September 17, 2021

Changing the Atmosphere


Did you ever feel as though your prayers weren't strong enough, or that it really didn't do anything noticeable? Why do some prayers get answered and others not? 

I love what Pastor Rick Warren once said, 

"When you’re going through fire, do you ever wonder why you have to go through it? It’s for testing and purification. As you pray about something over and over again, you face tests that reveal more about you. God says in Zechariah 13:9, 'I will refine them like silver and purify them like gold.' 

You test gold by putting it in a big vat and heating it until it gets so hot that all the impurities are burned off. How do metalsmiths know when gold and silver are pure? When they can see their reflection in them. God can see his reflection in you when all the impurities have burned out of your life—after you’ve been through the fire. He says that, after he’s done the testing and purification, 'They will call on my name, and I will answer them' (Zechariah 13:9). Answered prayer comes after the test. Before every blessing, there is a testing. God tests you with stress before he trusts you with success. These are the principles of persistent prayer." 

Before and after losing my mom from cancer, I always woke up with a pit of fear in my stomach. It started late into her treatments, when I realized nothing was working. I'd wake up with this pit of fear---a feeling of doom. My heart would race, or I would be 'off' all day long. It lasted well into the years, even after she passed away. I was never the same. My worst fear had come true---mom's no longer with me. One doctor even told me that I had what's called, "broken heart syndrome," which is an actual real diagnosis. It can even be fatal for some. 

First Things First

Pray. Even before your feet hit the floor, wake up with a heart of gratitude. Speak aloud your thankfulness to God, even if it's the same thing over and over. I always say, "Thank you God for another day!" And, "Today is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it!" After having my morning coffee, I sit down and pray---before even working on anything. I read scriptures aloud, especially Psalm 91, which is super relevant to today's climate. Don't skip on talking to God the first thing upon waking up. You're not too tired to at least say thank you---because let's face it, He woke you up to see another day. It works better than coffee. 

Changing the Atmosphere 

Have you ever had the feeling of impending doom, or that something bad is going to happen? It's enough to make you wanna curl back up in your bed and throw the covers over your head. I've been there, and from time to time, I can relapse into that mindset. Prayer changes everything. Fervent prayer. I'm talking about the prayer that has you crying, sending goosebumps and chills up your spine. Some would call this the anointing, that Jesus is right there with you---but Jesus is always there with you. It's when you finally believe He is, which sends that message to your soul. Have that conversation with Him, even if you're shaking under the covers---talk to Him and tell Him everything that's on your mind. Watch how the atmosphere changes. It automatically raises your vibration. With that being established, the fear will lessen or diminish altogether. Sometimes, when it's a struggle, I put on worship music. That alone will change the atmosphere, because most worship songs sing out biblical scriptures. The devil can't fight that. Resist the devil and he will flee. 

Conflict Among Friends or Loved Ones? 

Pray. I know that sounds like the simplest solution. But Jesus teaches us to "pray for our enemies"---this isn't meant to sound like they're the "evil enemy"---but to pray for those you're arguing with, or have no contact with. Pray sincerely---not just words to cover whatever you want out of this. It has to be a blessing for that other individual you had a conflict with. A few years ago, I thought I could do it all myself. And while I still can lash out from time to time out of instinctive  self-preservation, to make things better or to restore what was lost (or) accept things that I cannot change---I pray for the wellness and blessings for the other person, even if I never speak to them again. And it's okay to remove people out of your life sometimes. Ephesians and Corinthians speaks a lot about not associating with certain people who are either unbelievers, or who are doing evil things. It literally says, "Therefore, do not be partakers with them." It also says, "Do not be yoked with unbelievers." ----This is not to say to shun those who aren't sure about their faith or who are of another faith. It's the opposition, or even those who say they believe, but their actions speak otherwise. My point is: if an unbeliever or someone of another faith (or set of standards) pushes you to be disillusioned over your own, then cut ties. 

What Others Think of You is None of Your Business

How can you know what someone thinks about you? What conclusions did they conjure up? You have no idea, unless they tell you....or they tell someone else. Then it becomes a 'he said she said' game of telephone. But we sometimes get in this mindset that if someone is too quiet, or not as talkative as they once were, then that means they don't like you, or that they think you're doing something against their moral standards. This is super common. I used to torture myself with these thoughts, until I realized, that the only one I truly care about what they think of me is God, and God alone. You can't control someone's thoughts or first impressions of you...or their last. You can only control your response to whatever situation you're faced with. If you truly care about that person, then call them, make that initial contact and ask them, "Are you ok?" Or just call them as you would normally do. You might just be surprised. And again, as always, pray for those who you are unsure of. 

Shifting a Tense Atmosphere 

Have you ever felt someone else's energy right before they even walk into the room? You know the mood they're in and whether or not to approach them with certain topics. Sometimes, you're even walking on eggshells to avoid the great 'crack.'  Did you know that most people will automatically match your energy? So if you're feeling depressed, or angry---that person who walks in feels it too. They'll instantly shift like a chameleon to match your frequency, unless their frequency is way too high to ever come down. And that's where you want to be. When you raise your vibration, you shift the atmosphere. Little things to push toward that goal is to genuinely enjoy what you are doing, even if it's the most mundane of things. I dance and sing while doing my laundry. It's such a mood lifter. When I cook, I put on my Italian music---(not opera or something too serious)---I put on the goofy Italian goomba music, like the ones they used on 'Mob Hits' back in the day. I dance, sing 'n shake 'n bake like a crazy lady. When my better half walks in the door, automatically I see a smile and I get a big hug! I love hugs. Raise that vibration! 

The Takeaway

Life is too short to be worrying about what someone else thinks of you. Never settle for anything less than sincere and genuine friendships---the ones who can make you laugh while you're down and lift you up just by listening to you. Even if you're isolated and feel alone, it doesn't have to be a bad thing. Society deems that being a loner or being isolated can be bad for our mental health. If isolation bothers you, then yes, you will suffer, but if isolation soothes your soul, then that's a beautiful thing. Of course there's a beautiful balance of mixing the two: isolation and congregating around positive people who love you. Resistance to anything causes suffering, and of course, whatever you resist, persists. Sometimes we have to welcome unwanted changes, and with that, comes acceptance. After those stages, it's up to you whether or not to choose happiness or depression. If you choose depression, then make a conscious decision to stay in it for a little while, feel all your 'feels' and evaluate what you need to do to move forward. We can't be fully happy if we don't experience the lows, and vice versa. 

If you're happy, remember, it won't last forever. If you're depressed, remember, it won't last forever. 


Warning: If you're reading this post today, you've been prayed for. Prayers of emotional and physical health from head to toe in Jesus' name. Amen... 

For more of Deb's articles, please visit: www.debrapasquella.com or join her on Facebook and Twitter. Check out her cooking blog at DebsCucina.com for some of her famous recipes!

Wednesday, September 15, 2021

What Is Your Plan B?




What you did for yourself and your family and friends, as well as those who may be around you at work or in the grocery store was a morally decent thing to do. You're super brave, and your hearts are all in the right place. There's no question about it---you did what you did with good intentions. Never let anyone tell you otherwise. We're supposed to listen to our doctors, our hospitals and the CDC. We're supposed to believe that the government is helping us. We are supposed to believe many things, until the truth unfolds. But remember, it's not your fault. With that being said, this is also not the fault of the unvaccinated. 

We were lied to. 

From the very beginning, all the people around me were "seemingly" vaccinated. No one said a word if they weren't. I didn't care---I always told people I was unvaccinated, so they could make a decision whether or not to be around me. I wanted to give them that choice. I even did that with a coworker who came into my house. She wore a mask and we both were okay. 

When the mandates came out, the truth came out. Nurses, doctors and every type of healthcare worker started walking off the job due to the ultimatum of "get the jab or get the hell out," from their employers. Why in the world would your nurses and doctors walk out over getting vaccinated? Aren't they 'in the know?' This is why more and more people are waking up and realizing what's being done to them. You can call me a conspiracy theorist all you want, but there's more of me with the tinfoil hats than the vaccinated. 

There was a leaked Zoom meeting that revealed a doctor questioning how to increase the count of COVID-19 patient numbers on the hospital's dashboard report. The leaked video came from a recording from an "internal source" at the Novant Health System that includes New Hanover Regional Medical Center in Wilmington, North Carolina. 

One doctor is seen telling the staff, "I think we have to be more blunt, we have to be more forceful—we have to say something coming out—if you don’t get vaccinated, you know you are going to die,” Rudyk said in the video. “Let’s just be really blunt to these people.”

Fisher asked if she meant every patient who has been in the hospital “since the beginning of COVID?” 

Rudyk answered, “Well, that are still in, and that’s something I can take to someone else, but I think those are important numbers: the patients that are still in the hospital, that are off the COVID floor, but still are occupying the hospital for a variety of reasons.” 

Also on the Zoom conference call was Shelbourn Stevens, president of New Hanover Regional Medical Center, who said those patients are classified as “recovered.” 

“But I do think, from our standpoint, we would still consider them a COVID patient because they’re still healing,” Stevens said. Rudyk said she thinks those patients need to be “highlighted as well, because once they’re off isolation, they drop from the COVID numbers,” prompting Stevens to say that they can later talk offline about “how we can run that up to marketing.”

Listen to this video until the end---it's truly the creepiest thing I've heard. 



Since Biden gave out the mandate, healthcare workers everywhere are walking out and now protesting. Many are protesting right here in New York. 

There are many cases where the vaccinated have either been seriously injured or have died from the jab. People aren't listening. It's especially hard to listen if you're being silenced or banned from sites left and right. 

One clue, even before the mandates was this: if you're vaccinated, and still catching and spreading the virus, what does that tell you? Why are there vaccinated people in the hospital right now? 

Families are uninviting their unvaccinated guests from their weddings, birthday parties and other gatherings. They're dividing, calling the unvaccinated, "selfish" and that "they're killing people." They're also using Biden's lingo, "This is a pandemic of the unvaccinated." They want to see you divide. This is exactly what was planned. I can even feel the pull of my vaccinated friends as well. It's okay, because I know how strong fear can take hold of someone. 

If I'm wrong (if most of the world is wrong) then we can easily fix it by going out and getting vaccinated. 

So to my vaccinated friends and readers, what is your plan B? 

Fauci should be fired for crimes against humanity. Everything is coming out in the open and I'm actually terrified over what will come next. 

Pray without ceasing. Try your hardest to LOVE one another, regardless of your vaccination status. We shouldn't be angry at one another---we should be angry at those who inflicted this virus on us, and then tried harder with the "cure." 

For more of Deb's articles, please visit: www.debrapasquella.com or join her on Facebook and Twitter. Check out her cooking blog at DebsCucina.com for some of her famous recipes!


Wednesday, August 25, 2021

When Nothing Makes Sense, Go With Your Gut

There’s a way that appears to be right, but in the end it leads to death. We’ve all made decisions that at the time seemed right but later turned out to be wrong. Some paths lead to dead ends & you end up off track. That’s why you need to admit, “God, I need help.” --Proverbs 14:12 ~ 

The weapon most used by the evil one is fear. What has driven society to go out and grab the "cure" to the disease? Fear. What has motivated the government, business owners and schools to discriminate against those who don't want the "cure?" Fear. 

So let me get this straight. If the cure works, then why are people afraid of the disease? The ones without the "cure" should be more fearful... but they're not because their eyes are open. When people have the Spirit living within them, they have discernment and understanding --- not as the world does. They have more of an intuitive gut wrenching feeling to avoid what is absolutely necessary. What one person may think is right, actually leads to death, as it states in the Bible. 

Last June I was sick with a flu-like illness. I had COVID. Five members in my family who were vaccinated also came down with COVID. We kept hearing more people who were vaccinated having more breakthrough infections with COVID. Those extra lines in your vaccination cards definitely were intended for already foreseen booster shots. It'll never stop. Two weeks to flatten the curve, right? 

I'm not going to get into debating theories and whatnot---or 'my scientist is better than your scientist' type of banter, but the fact is, I am not a scientist. I'm a child of God who has discernment. My spirit tells me that this is bad---not just common sense. It's a gut feeling. The government is so desperately trying to jab us, at any cost! Here, burgers and fries! Here look, a free joint from the distillery! Hey, free beer! But the one thing that wasn't offered was free chemo, free insulin or EpiPens for those who truly need it. They offered other poisons in exchange to take their poison. 

Dozens of essential workers were out protesting against these mandates over in Middletown, New York. Many believe that this should be a personal choice on each individual. Counterclaims and concerns whether or not an unvaccinated person will make everyone sick is contradictory, because the vaccinated are also getting people sick. So none of this makes any sense at all....and when something doesn't make sense, it's a lie.

You can't force anyone to get vaccinated. It's illegal. Yes, you can deny them service at your restaurant or private store, even deny them medical attention at a private family practice, but their time is running short. You'll soon find out the truth of it all if you haven't already. Your vaccine? It doesn't work. It's not even helping with the "new variants" and reports have been published that it is now "variant resistant." 

I urge you, please be kind to everyone, especially those who do not want the jab. Because the time is coming when you're going to find out the truth, if you haven't already. God gave all of us free will, and so should you. A Christian asked me, "Well WWJD?" (What Would Jesus Do?) And I responded, 

Do I believe it's the mark? It has all the traits, but I truly believe they're priming us for it. My belief and faith tells me to repel from it. This is why I think it's important for anyone to understand why certain people should be religiously exempt from taking this. It goes against everything we stand for. We are being threatened that we cannot buy or sell, without the name or number. In fact, I'm not as concerned about the side effects as much as I am about my own eternity with my God. If you could look at it from a person of faith's perspective, you'd know that this is the one thing we cannot do. Ever. And it's no disrespect to you or your family and children, because let's face it---the vaccinated are spreading the disease just as the unvaccinated, so why are you ignoring that important part? We are being lied to. It'll never go back to whatever normal we ever had---because they're waist high in propaganda and they want you to believe that your friends and family who are against this "cure" are bad people, and that they're killing others due to their selfishness. If you knew me, or spoke to anyone who knows me, you'll find out that I'm the least selfish person. I'd help you if you needed anything---I'd give the shirt off my back to help in any way, shape or form. Need a place to stay? Food to eat? A friend to talk to? My door is open to you. And that my friend, is a promise.

Please stop and look at what they're doing to us. Remember that phrase, "divide and conquer?" And if they can't kill us one way, they'll try to have us killing each other. If you want the vaccine, then take it. This is something you have to do for yourself, and I totally respect that. If it makes you safer going out in the world with some protection---I totally get that. I would have gotten it too if it weren't for my faith. Also, I am not anti-vax, I have had all of my vaccinations and annual flu shots. This one is very different though. I just wish other people had the same respect I have for them. 

Remember when people spoke about conspiracy theorists? There were like probably less than a handful of people you could call out. But this is half of America. Not even 2 years ago, conspiracy theorists were few and far between. If this many people are awake to the lies, then you truly have to evaluate what they are looking into. And if you don't think you're being lied to, then go with your gut. But why can't you focus on yourself, your family and go about life and not focus on mine? 

But you're willing to fire your employees over a vaccine that doesn't work? Think about that. 
You're willing to shun a family member because they won't get the jab? Think about that.
You're willing to risk your livelihood and only let vaccinated people in your restaurant? Think about that.
You're willing to let go of nurses and doctors---our heroes last year, who have cared and saved the lives of many, many patients during the pandemic? Think about that. 
And the nurses and doctors who are walking out because they no longer want to help the unvaccinated? Think about that, because when you're before God one day, you're going to have to explain a whole lot.
That's just evil. 

One more thing, if the inventor of the mRNA technology, Dr. Robert Malone strongly advises people to stay away from this vaccine, shouldn't that raise a red flag? They're even trying to discredit him online, when he was the first one to invent this technology. 

I trust that God will reveal all secrets out into the open. 

Though a thousand may fall at your side,
Though ten thousand are dying around you, 
These evils will not touch you!
But you will see it with your eyes, 
You will see how the wicked are punished. ---Psalms 91:7-8 

For more of Deb's articles, please visit: www.debrapasquella.com or join her on Facebook and Twitter. Check out her cooking blog at DebsCucina.com for some of her famous recipes!

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