Living Proof

Let’s face it, we’re all walking time bombs, holding in explosive emotions that somehow gets lost in a rubble of facades that try making our exterior appear as “happy”. Some people don’t even know they’re holding in a lot of garbage that hasn’t been taken out yet. Every single person can shed a tear if you say the “right” thing, whether it be a past memory, a past heartbreak, a traumatic experience or someone they had lost through an unfortunate death. That one thing you bring up can open that little emotional box stored deep inside their heart that’s been closed up for so long. So many people deal with it in various ways. Some people who I know personally actually poke fun at their life’s traumas on stage as comedians. It’s almost like therapy in a sense, laughing at themselves, their past experiences and realizing that ‘it is what it is’. They relate to other people on many levels. This enables healing in an unconventional way. There are many sad comedians out there harboring past w...

So many times I’ve watched the rain fall as I’m doing right now and thought about my past, and wondered about all the “what ifs” that brewed inside me. They say wondering about the ‘what ifs’ is an unhealthy standpoint about your current and future outcome, but what if someone or something in your past comes back to the current time? I’m not sure what it is about the rain that makes me over-think, overanalyze every single situation that I’ve been through, but right now I’m having one of those moments. Have you ever thought about the concept of quantum physics? Better question: do you believe in it? This post somehow relates to it in a way, so taken from this site , the definition of it is this: " Quantum physics is simply a science that studies and explains how everything in our world comes into existence starting from the physical aspect of the events, conditions, and circumstances of everything in the Universe and breaking them down into their most basic form, attempting to dis...

In this diverse society, there are many stigmas about each lifestyle, background and culture. People try to avoid any topics dealing with stereotypes, in fear of offending someone. To some degree, stereotypes are somewhat true, and others seem to be stigmas. For example, when most people think “bisexuals”, they immediately think, “They can have their cake and eat it too.” But what about those people who date monogamously, yet don’t go by gender alone? So there are two categories for bisexual people: those who like to have a boyfriend and a girlfriend at the same time and those who are attracted to the “person”, regardless of their gender. For me, it’s a touchy one because I have dated bisexual women in my past and with each experience, I got burned unfortunately. They always went back to men or dated them on the side. I remember dating this girl when I was younger. We were so in love and we always hung out with our friend Billy, who was this muscular, feminine guy - to which I was led ...

What is it about human nature that makes some of us use projection as a way to defend our own insecurities? Remember back in grade school when the little kids would tease you, calling you names only to make themselves look better for the rest of the kids watching? Or, in some cases, the kids would make fun of you for the total opposite reason: they had a crush on you. It never made sense back then, but as we grew older, we started learning that we sometimes do the opposite of how we really feel. Even when a relationship has taken a turn for the worse, but the two people are still in love, they’ll remain bitter sometimes out of pure stubbornness. “Don’t call them! Let them wait!” We’re doing things opposing to how we really feel at times. “Play hard to get.” Why? What about homophobic people? For instance, let’s take a man who is very comfortable being a heterosexual male. Why would he care if someone was gay or not? Have you ever come across a man or a woman who was so obsessed with...

You probably have a different view than what I’m about to talk about, but that’s what makes life interesting: an array of opinionated minds that may or may not agree. If there’s one thing that annoys me, it’s how people “fake” being accepting. Let me explain... Take for instance, the concept that America is the “melting pot”. Sure, we’re all here “physically” together, but in my eyes, we’re not here together as one, as accepting people of different cultures, backgrounds and lifestyles. We’re so at odds with one another of different creeds that sometimes I wonder when we’ll all start to realize that we’re more alike than we think. Of course I’m an advocate for the LGBT community, not just because I’m gay, but because I support all who want to be happy in their lifestyles. Many of my friends are in LGBT groups, organizations and even LGBT sporting events. For me, I’d rather play with a mix of people, regardless if they’re gay, straight, transgender, black or white. I don’t care ---pla...

Life is too short to be spending your time with someone who makes your life miserable or makes you feel less than super excited about life. Of course love is a feeling, but it’s also a conscious choice made to “choose” who you want to love & grow old with. To consciously pick someone who is controlling, abusive or manipulative will eventually come to a head over time. When we’re young, we tend to pick the ‘wrong ones’ or be attracted to the badass types. That fades with time, and after a while, you’re going to want someone who allows you...to be “you”. My wife made a good point this morning while talking about this. She said that when someone stifles you or “smothers your feathers”, you can’t fly; you can’t be yourself. You’re trapped in this prison that you've created for yourself. You chose this. Also, you can choose to leave the prison whenever you want. I think many people who don’t leave a bad situation is because of all the time invested. What about all the times waste...

You’re probably wondering what grudge people are, but I do have a very good explanation. Have you ever been around somebody who constantly “ughs” every little thing in life? Everything is either an eye roll, a sigh, an eckkk or just a grunt of an unenthusiastic gripe. I can totally understand when people complain about something they don’t like or they don’t particularly care for, or perhaps, they’re going through a rough time and ‘grunting’ through it all - which is fine - but when does it come to the point of grunting at every little thing in life? Within the past year, I had to remove a couple of these “grudge” people out of my life. Their negativity eventually rubbed off and there I was, grunting about this and that. They’re the types that sit there and flap their gums about ‘she did this’ or ‘he did that’ and ‘why me, why me’... . If you stay with them long enough, you’ll find that you’ll be doing the same thing, or at least to some extent. Then you have your ‘fishing grudge p...

In many cases, gratitude is the most overlooked thing in the world. People are too busy, or they just forget how fortunate they really are. They can’t see beyond their “bad” circumstances or “bad luck” - they only see the glass half empty. I get like that sometimes, and when it starts knocking me down a few notches, I have to be reminded of what I do have, not what I don’t have. Just like focusing too much on the past or too much on the future, we forget the most important thing: the present. It’s human nature and once we give into that little whiney voice in our heads, “I want I want I want”, then maybe we can truly see what’s in front of us right now. Materialistic things won’t change who we are or get someone out of a depression. I find for myself, whenever I get into a depressive state or just not feeling ‘myself’, I do these breathing exercises that really help me. Usually, relaxation techniques like these help anxiety, but just picture depression as “anxiety without the energ...

While being on our little "staycation", my parents let me film them without being camera shy. I have written so much about them on this blog that sometimes, I truly believe that many of my readers don't fully believe the stories I have told. For those of you who haven't read my posts about my dad - he's a true old time Brooklynite. I try to mimic the way he talks, like, "Whaddya tawkin' bow" or "fuggedaboudit" and my one pet peeve, " gotta go to da' ba-troom" . Being that my dad has a sketchy past, his story may offend or shock those who are a bit squeamish, or he might just give you a good laugh. Some content may be a bit "Archie Bunker-ish", so viewer discretion is advised. I tried to censor out as much as I could. Enjoy!

Taking a week long "staycation" with Madelene. We haven't had time off in almost a year now. I'll be back blogging on a regular basis on the 18th or so. I may quite possibly post something random on here, if we see something interesting or perhaps, a funny home video. Enjoy this gorgeous weather & I'll miss you all!

There’s nothing worse than the feeling of anxiety. Whether you’re familiar experiencing anxiety attacks or not, each person has their “own” anxiety that can manifest in different ways. For instance, I experience the “typical symptoms”---shortness of breath, racing heart, and the scariest one, heart palpitations. I get irrational thoughts as though ‘this is it and I’m dying’ type of thinking. I find myself in the emergency room more times than I’d like to admit. “You’re okay, Deb. All the tests were fine.” I get sent home, feeling relieved, and magically, my anxiety, or “thought to be” heart attack subsides. For others, anxiety can be stress headaches, fatigue, tightness in chest and even allergy symptoms. I always thought my partner never got anxiety attacks. How can she not have anxiety working in a high paced male-dominated and competitive environment? Her anxiety outlets are migraines and stomach problems. Although she seems “calm”, her anxiety is a bit different than mine. My fri...

Life is a quick mover. It doesn’t wait for anyone if they decide to sit back and let it float away. We all know that we should cherish the people in our lives, as well as try to make a difference in others. There are so many cliches and platitudes to “life” itself, that it eventually gets drowned up at the bottom of a huge bowl full of preoccupied self-absorbencies. (And I don’t mean that in a bad way.) It’s normal - we get caught up in our own lives, sometimes neglecting very important people that we need to spend more time with. Between having demanding jobs, raising children, relationships, marriages or making home improvements or whatever it is making you too busy, sometimes people misinterpret “busyness” with “neglectfulness”. Whether you want to intermingle the two together or not is up to you. I have a few friends I used to hang out with all the time. When they would get into a new relationship, I wouldn't ever hear from them. Once the relationship had ended, it was back...

Through the process of interviewing people for the documentary, I came across one woman who wasn’t quite ‘right’ for the film. And, I hate to say that, because I do want to include most people of different lifestyles and backgrounds, but this was not a lifestyle - it was more of a mission in my opinion. “Linda”, a professional business woman set up the entire interview located in her high rise office building in Manhattan. We spoke about her life and how her religion vs. her lifestyle has affected her. It was going smoothly for a while, until she had admitted that she “turned” heterosexual. She stated she has always been a lesbian ever since she knew there were females on earth, but because she had a few bad experiences with women, she decided to give men a shot. I totally empathized for what she had been through, because all the women she had been involved with were verbally and physically abusive. Although Linda is very professional looking due to her career, she is more drawn to b...