Living Proof

It matters not who you love, where you love, why you love, when you love or how you love, it matters only that you love. --John Lennon Years ago, I had a straight friend who would ask me so many questions about being gay -- anything from what type of girl I liked to what I did in the bedroom. I was always uncomfortable being asked these things, because even if I was straight, I don't want to explain anything that personal to a friend. She always wanted to know details and "how" can two women be together 'like that'. Why was she so curious? A year later, I found out why. She had her own issues of being "bi-curious' -- she didn't know if she was straight or gay. Many people feel that way, they can go either way -- and that's okay. It's who you love regardless of the gender for some people. Even these days, I have had three people that seemed like they were badgering me about religion and sin and whatnot. I always take the time to respond an

The one thing I have learned over the past decade or so is that you cannot change people. You can only change yourself and the way you perceive an issue or situation that you may not care for. I can't tell you how many times I have seen people complain about their own significant others on Facebook (which is so tactless) again and again and again, to where I think, "Then why stay with them if you're so unhappy?" I wish I had a set of balls to type my thoughts in the comment section, but it's really none of my business...or is it, if they're making it a public issue? No relationship or marriage is perfect. We have to love (even grudgingly) the idiosyncrasies and uniqueness of who we are with - who we chose to have as our life partners. If you complain about a certain issue on and on and on, then why not change how you see it? Obviously, if it hasn't changed then, it's certainly not going to change now or anytime soon. We all have options. #1. Leave.

Sometimes people amaze me. I'm at the farm market standing on a long line at the seafood/sushi counter with a bunch of cackling hens talking about Jenner. I couldn't help but eavesdrop while sifting through Asian spices and wasabi that I really didn't need. I always wonder if people realize how loudly they speak, or if they talk loud enough just to get other people's attention for shits and giggles. Usually, people in public who speak about these things are very "accepting" and seem to have this enormous amount of tolerance...till they get on Facebook and start throwing their little Christian stones and tantrums. I guess the one woman particularly didn't care for transgender people, especially after she said she would strangle some "man" if they came walking into the ladies' room. I do live in a very conservative area -- an area where there's no mention of anyone who is even apart of the L*G*B*T*Q ---ever. It's like they don't e

How do you get rid of fear? I've been searching for the answers all my life through therapy, through prayer, through spiritual gurus -- you name it. Anita Moorjani, the author of Dying to be Me had some great advice in her book and to myself personally, however she experienced an NDE (near-death experience). I guess you can say she has proof, while many of us sit here wondering about all the "what ifs" in our life. I can only speak for myself when I say that my fear stems from the fear of death and the fear of the unknown in the afterlife, because let's face it -- without proof of our faith, it's just that: a belief system. Being a bit of a hypochondriac, my fear of eating peanuts, shrimp or getting stung by a bee are all seen as "irrational fears" -- but is it? So, "Deb fears bees," which basically equates to, "Deb fears anaphylactic shock," which equates to, "Deb has a fear of dying." It has gotten better to where it d

Would you call homophobia "a fear of homosexuals"? I mean, in the literal sense -- does it truly mean "fear" or does it really mean "disgust" and "hate"? I'm starting to lean toward the logical answer: fear. It's where hatred is born. Hatred is stemmed from fear. Some people fear the unknown, some people fear what they haven't truly witnessed or encountered in real life and some just fear that they may "catch the disease" if exposed. A gentleman named brought up a few questions for me to answer. Here is the answer from the gentleman regarding homosexuality from my previous post on Facebook that you can read here  and my original article on my blog which you can read here . "They have convinced the public that it is something you are born with. Have you any "proof" of that? What if it begins at age 1-4 in the Psyche? It was listed as a psychological disorder less that 30 years ago and then "changed

"Reach out & touch faith..." Life is so confusing when it comes to religious beliefs and whatnot. As I tackled the issues regarding "religious freedom" -- aka -- "the freedom to discriminate" -- after hearing the views from some of the Christians who are against the LGBT community, it was clear to me that this was more about the human and cultural conditioning some of us go through. Some may call it "brainwashing" while others call it personal convictions. Once we remain in a particular belief for many, many years, it can be very difficult to change course, beliefs and views on what's 'right' or 'wrong'.  I'm guilty for calling some Christians "bigots" or "hateful" for speaking up about what they've been taught since day one. And maybe I was wrong. Some Christians believe that all homosexuals are going straight to hell. Some believe that the Bible has been convoluted and meshed into differen