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Showing posts from September, 2019

Fear Is a Liar

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Anxiety is a tricky animal, and comes in all species, whether it's through headaches, chest pain, rapid heart rate or hyperventilation, etc. It can come on suddenly, or in a torturous gradual incline. No matter what the symptom is, many people can develop what's called "health anxiety" (the non-PC term is hypochondria.) Some may develop agoraphobia---an avoidance of places like big supermarkets, crowds, or in some extreme cases, to even step foot out of their own home. If you think about what anxiety is, it's pretty silly, isn't it? I mean, what are we 'fearing?' What are we so afraid of? It literally doesn't make sense at all. And maybe I've watched too many court shows, but as Judge Judy would say, "If it doesn't make sense, then it's a LIE." Fear Is a liar. Zach Williams wrote a song called, "Fear Is a Liar." If you can't view the video below, please click here to view this on Youtube. "Fear, h

God's Timing is Always Perfect

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Going through any major life change can be daunting. Whether you've recently been through a breakup or divorce, have recently gotten married, or maybe a loved one just passed away, you may be experiencing the pangs of transitioning. Even if you lost your job or moved from one home to another, all of this affects our mental health and the ability to function one way or another. All of these things are considered "big life events." It affects your entire life: your atmosphere, the way you look at life, a possible change in the people around you, and even changes to in own health. I remember discussing the "7 year itch" with my mother a few years back. It wasn't just for relationships. Every 7 years, we change. Our bodies change. Our allergies change. Even our taste buds change, which is why we start loving one food as opposed to another type of food we used to enjoy. Think back 7 years ago. What was different in your life? What did you eat back then that you

Matters of the Heart

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It's always good to wake up with sunshine, a hot cup of coffee and a ton of hope after a rough patch. I've been experiencing increased anxiety lately, which was discouraging. I couldn't understand why in the world I would have a heart rate of 195 bpm. This started about 6 weeks ago. My heart would spin out of control and I was so confused. We had so much excitement with buying our new home, moving and settling in. The place is perfect for what I need it for. No more lawn care, no more getting stranded up on that mountain for days because plows couldn't even bust through the 5 ft snowdrifts. So why in the world would I be scared or anxious? I should be overjoyed and calmer than a clam here. It just didn't make sense. So in my little anxiety-ridden noggin, my first thoughts went to "It has to be something physically wrong with me." I had the case of "health anxiety"---another term for hypochondria. Guess they're getting a little more sensitiv

Is Having Faith in God Simply a 'Placebo Effect?'

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Yesterday, I was reading up on an article that was explaining that our minds are these powerful tools to use for positive and negative. It's kind of like the internet, you can either use it for good or for bad, that's up to you. You'd think that our minds would protect us, rather than hurt us. So why would our minds give us anxiety? Well, we also have our primal minds, where it thinks that we are in danger, when in fact there is none. So our 'fight or flight' response kicks in, as if a tiger's chasing us, and BAM---anxiety. It's also what we say to ourselves, tell ourselves, think about certain things and situations that can create either peace or chaos. Our minds create phobias, and it can create a phobia of a certain place where you once experienced anxiety, so it'll pull the avoidance tactic. Agoraphobia can be debilitating for some. For me personally, I suffer with it on and off. Some weeks I'm all over the place, while other times, I'm a b

Adjusting to a 'New Normal'

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It was a week of unpacking, sorting, loading up closets and cabinets and hanging up photos and decorative mirrors this week. We had the entire week off to just unwind and get used to our new home. When it came down to the wire and my movers were ready to rock 'n roll, my anxiety kicked in and it hasn't really stopped to tell you the truth. A few days before the move, my heart would race out of control. I knew what it was and thought, well once I get into the new place, I'll be fine. But every single morning, I wake up with a pounding heart, to where I have to wait till noon to enjoy my coffee. Not giving that up for anything! I'm learning more about anxiety and how it can linger, even though you may feel calm. The cortisol response and the 'fight or flight' response can still be lingering in your system after something traumatic. Leaving my ancestral home was kind of traumatic, although I was happy to get out of there due to the circumstances. It just felt lik

Making Sense of It All

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Thinking back on everything that's transpired in my life just within the past few years, I'm not sure if I could've handle everything all at once. Last night, I was praying and I got this message that if it wasn't in God's timing, that it would've been all just too much to wrap my mind around. Like if someone said to me, "Hey Deb, not only will your mom die from cancer, but you're going to be moving out of your ancestral home too." I don't think I would be emotionally ready to absorb all of that at once, which is why I always trust God's timing---even if it feels like He's taking longer than you'd like. It's important to trust every step of the journey. Sometimes, people pray for things and it never gets answered. They ask, "Why doesn't God answer my prayers?" Maybe God didn't answer your prayer because something bad would happen. Maybe it was to protect you, so instead of fulfilling your prayer request, He

Letting Go

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It was like ripping out a permanent fixture on the wall that's been there since the 70's. That's how I felt when I said goodbye to my ancestral home for the very last time. Bittersweet, only due to the memories that home held so dearly. It also held dark memories of death and illness...unrelenting grief.  A million tears were shed in that house over the course of ten years between both parents passing away, not too far behind the other. Although there are more good memories in that home, the heaviness of the past ten years of watching both parents succumb to their illness weighs out much, much more. Much more. Even conversations about my mom's fear of taking the chemo: "Will my hair fall out?" And if it does, I'll shave my head too. I always promised her that. For whatever reason, she still kept her dark auburn hair and always looked so beautiful. But I really would've done that for her. But those are the types of conversations had, daunting and all