Living Proof

Within the past couple of weeks, I’ve been learning a lot about myself in terms of spiritually, emotionally and even physically. First, I realized my spirituality was pretty much numbed after finding out how terminally ill my dad was. It was almost like a rebellious thing - “how can you do this God” type of mindset, but thankfully I got past that. I even cursed God and thinking in the back of my mind, “Wow, that’s really gonna screw my chances of getting inside those pearly gates.” But like a child (which God wants us all do to) I begged for forgiveness and received mercy. I started diligently being persistent in my prayer and meditation - and overall, just talking to God as if He was standing right next to me. I started to notice changes taking place in me. For one, I had no fear of anything. I lived in the “now” and forgot about my past and didn’t think too much about my future. Each time I focused on my past or future, it screwed up my “today”. My ‘quick fixes’ and adrenaline jun...

It’s hard for some people to show their faith in God. Some feel it’s a sign of weakness or that they’ll think others will assume they’ve gone mad, especially those who truly believe in God, but are ashamed to show it -- even to God Himself. These past few weeks have been especially difficult for my dad. He’s lost all hope. His demeanor went from somewhat hopeful to doom & gloom from to his pain, fatigue and constant battle with his illness. My mom keeps saying, “Pray to God” , but the emptiness in his eyes glazes over her suggestion and his head goes back down, staring at the floor again. He’s also been battling with his faith in God. He asked, “How can God do this to me?” Yesterday while he was pacing back and forth with anxiety, my mother said, “Go inside your room and pray!” And to my surprise, he said, “I’m gonna try, Ro...I’m really gonna try.” About an hour later, he came outside where we were sitting and my mother asked, “Did you pray?” He put his head down and then ...

Through tweets, song lyrics, and quotes given on every Facebook status message, they say, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” Does it? Sometimes I wonder if it applies to all people. I think, some people handle stress and grief differently. Perhaps one person dives into a deep depression after something traumatic happens in their lives and the other one pushes through with more strength the next time around. Personality types vary. One of my favorite passages from the Bible is this one: “We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they are good for us—they help us learn to endure. And endurance develops strength of character in us, and character strengthens our confident expectation of salvation. And this expectation will not disappoint us. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.” ~(Romans 5:3-5) I’ve heard many people facing an inconceivable situation state “this too shal...

Congratulations, Maryland for being the eighth state to pass the marriage equality law. It passed the Maryland Senate 25-22 and the House of Delegates 72-67. I remember when California was going through their struggle of trying to get marriage equality and then succeeded for a short spell before Prop 8 quickly shuffled that one back into the files of “to be continued”. During that time, I remember a friend of mine who shared her views with me regarding homosexuality and if it should be legalized. She stated, “Marriage is between a man and a woman and it’s absolutely wrong for two people of the same sex to marry. It’s just not natural.” While I respect most views, the whole “unnatural” theory kind of gave it a different meaning. Since my friend is black, I reminded her that restrictions of black people being able to marry were lifted after the civil war. They were free to marry anyone in the U.S. unless they were white. Interracial marriages were considered a criminal act. It wasn’t un...

As a teen, I used to smoke cigarettes. I knew that my grandfather died of it. He walked around with an oxygen tank gasping for air due to his emphysema. Even though I knew the risks involved in smoking, grandpa was just 'one' example in my mind - as though it was probably just a fluke thing - because well, mom & dad smoke all the time and they’re okay... I remember sitting in my health class being asked by the teacher, “By a show of hands, how many of you walk into another room when your parents light up a cigarette?” Everyone rose their hand. I did too. Everyone else did. I didn’t want to be the odd one out. Dinner at our house was typical by any standard, (I think). Even if we were still eating dinner, dad would smoke probably two to three cigarettes while we were all finishing. Cigarette butts were left sticking out of leftover mashed potatoes and at times, a great big ashtray was placed next to dad. Mom was more tame with her habit. My father chain smoked - to the poi...