Living Proof

There goes all my dinner parties... There is not one diet I haven't tried. There hasn't been one diet that has really worked for me, except for Weight Watcher's - but for me that was like a starvation project. I've always had issues with weight --  up and down and getting round -- so I decided to bite the bullet and do a no carb thing, perhaps even the Paleo diet, also known as "the caveman diet", suggested by my doctor friend who is guiding me right now, cringing at every mistake I make along the way. Paleo's focus (or in my opinion because I know I will get corrected on this which is fine) is on cutting all sugars out of your diet, including grains like wheat bread, pastas, starches and even beans. The list goes on about what you can't have, but there are some perks. I'm Italian so this is very difficult for me to eliminate pasta, however, I'm also allowed to eat all ~the evils~ that I was told not to eat by my family doctor. Foods inc

While driving to the store with my mother the other day, we were talking about life in general and how different we become every ten years or so. She asked, "Do you notice how different we change every ten years?" I never really thought about it until I quickly reviewed my life in a matter of five seconds. Ten years ago I was a hot mess. Madelene and I had separated for a while to sort things out and I headed into a downward spiral of depression, which resulted in many alcohol binges. I had developed a lot of toxic relationships, friendship-wise as well as intimately. I didn't like myself very much...or at all. Ten years before that chaotic period, I was trying to pursue a career and landed some great jobs as a temp. It finally led me to IBM where I worked in finance, dressed like a stuffed shirt and traveled a few times (hate traveling) with my co-workers to other branches for senseless one hour meetings scattered throughout the day. Nothing like mud coffee, beige

As you probably already know, I'm very passionate about preventing our children from being bullied in school. Some survive it, some don't. We've all heard horror stories where a kid commits suicide because the bullying was just too much. Most of the time, the victim never tells anyone due to shame and embarrassment. They hide it and let it fester until it's too late. Bullying happens in schools, playgrounds and even in neighborhoods where they all congregate. Parents can't be there every second of the day, which is why I think it's so important to have all parents and children informed of what can happen if the bullying doesn't stop. I also write a lot about this topic because it's a personal one for me, having survived a suicide attempt that no one even knew about. I was bullied relentlessly by a neighborhood "friend". I was only 13 years old and tried to drink myself into a coma. I wanted to end it because I feared going to school the next

I don't care if you're a hard-headed, unforgiving, bitter ol' sonnovabitch, but most everyone holds onto old wounds, or at least remembers them. New wounds always need time of course. You don't have to be the "nice guy" or the sensitive soul that absorbs way too much. While we're all wired so differently and beautifully, we all have egos and hearts that break and shatter. I'm guessing about 80% + people are in therapy trying to 'figure it all out', while the rest are out there seeking some sort of outlet (and relief) to distract them from the chaos that lives inside their minds. You've heard the saying, "Idle time is the devil's playground", and while that may ring true, we may also find ourselves running away from what hurt us instead of facing it head on. The fact remains, wherever you go, for however long 'something' distracts you, there is going to be a time when your moments are idle and your thoughts come flutt

Is it just me, or do you also cringe when you read a long-winded paragraph by someone with a ton of typos? I realize that everyone, including myself makes typos from time to time, and for me, I find a lot when I first review a blog post, but some people make me wonder if they have ever picked up a book or have ever put in the effort to make their sentences appear semi-intelligent. An old co-worker of mine on Facebook decided to post a lovely political rant that was just so irrational and absurd that I had to chime in. Mind you, I rarely ever comment on politics, unless it's just outrageously stupid. She's a Mitt fan and misquoted his percentages as well as typed her entire thoughts like a kindergartner. There were new sentences that weren't capitalized, periods in the midst of sentences as well as words misspelled so badly that I had to reread it. I kept seeing her post in my feed a few times, but decided, nah, not worth it. But it gnawed at me. How can someone feel okay

Many are pissed off. You've mocked our GOD. There are a lot of things about life I don't understand. I don't know why a crucifix dipped in the artist, Andres Seranno's urine can be displayed in an art gallery with our tax dollars funding it while the U.S. defends the Muslims for killing our ambassador over a horrible b-grade movie on Youtube that mocked their god.  Aren't we a "Christian" nation? Why aren't we rallying and burning their flags? Why is our country "a Christian country" anyway? Aren't we a melting pot? Guess not. But what makes one religion more protective over another? Is it more important? Isn't any "god" worshipped a priority? Or, is it just that some people are just absolutely batshit crazy? How come those crazy Christian extremists who want all homosexuals killed in the name of god not picketing outside of the art gallery where their own Christ is dipped in urine? I guess the homos are to blame as th

"I'm just fine thank you." The biggest lie in the world is, "I'm fine." And oddly enough, the one question that really doesn't want to get answered is, "How are you?" Or in New Yawk, it's "How you doin'?" It's become more of a greeting than a genuine concern of one's well being. Strange how that works, yet it's the most common phrases that people use. I remember a funny story about a friend telling me, "Never ask him how he's doing - it'll never end."  I tested it like a jackass.  "How are you, John?" He looked up at me, shook his head and said, "Not good...not good. I lost my job the other day, I have all these bills piling up and I'm totally broke. I can't seem to get my car running because the transmission blew and I have no way to get to any interviews. Mah wife is bitching at me because she's the only one working and on top of that, she's always out with her

It's crazy how politics and religion can really make a difference in either developing friendships or ruining them. As they say, the worst thing to talk about with friends or new acquaintances is . . . and still, people do it. People challenge others to see where their political hats lie. It's personal. It's not something you can try to persuade someone else into seeing it your way because they have strong convictions about 'this' and 'that', while yours may be completely different. On Facebook, I'm surprised at how many people are so adamant about posting their strong political views --- even slapping the other 'party' in the face, which happens to be their own friends. Here's where it gets tricky... Okay, so it's a wonderful thing that you love your country and you want others to see how rotten 'the other guy' is. But if you really take a moment to step back, look at your Facebook wall --- aren't you only doing one thing,

As we sipped our wine at my favorite restaurant, my friend and I started talking about life, friends, relationships and the brokenness that sometimes occur with all the above. We're not guaranteed a lifetime of friendship with anyone, nor relationship, marriages, and sadly, a family bond. Conflict parts us. Life itself parts us. And lastly, death certainly parts us.  While the saying goes, people come into your life for a season, a reason and for a lifetime, we'll never be sure which ones in our life falls into which category. Backtracking to what my sister stated the other day -- "We're all on borrowed time. There is no soul that we own. We can only share and bond with those people in the here and now, until it's time for them or us to go." It made sense. While we think our daughter, son, mother, father, sibling, or friend are "ours" --- they can leave you through choice or through death and there is nothing you can do to stop it. If you don't

Dear Mayor Bloomberg, I understand you're banning soft drinks in large quantities as well as trans fat in most chain restaurants. While I think it's a great attempt to improve our health, I also think you've missed a few other things that are bad for our health in large quantities. I would like to give you my suggestions if you're just going to limit it to soft drinks and trans fat, so hear me out. Make all bars limit each patron to two drinks maximum. Not only will you save lives by not having people drive home drunk, but you're saving women from the risk of breast cancer as "studies" show. Don't let any (one) person buy an entire pizza pie, unless they come in with a family of eight.  Make every New Yorker pay dues to a gym membership. If our health is so important, then enforce a gym membership rule.  Ban all white bread. 'Nuff said. Ban all "Americanized" Chinese takeout food. China is known for eating medicinal foods that

Betrayal to a woman seems to be more detrimental than it is to a man. Women are emotional creatures with softer hearts, or seemingly so. They absorb so much and at times, they never let the absorption dry up, or for a lack of better terms, forgive; to let go. Betrayal can be many things. It can be finding out your husband or wife cheated on you. It can be finding out that a friend has spoken unkindly about you to another person. It can be finding out that your secrets have been revealed by someone you trusted with all your heart. Forgiving and forgetting are sometimes hard to do. You can either forgive, but the forgetting part is still going to hold onto that heart of yours. So how can we truly forgive someone when we're finding it difficult to forget? Madelene asked me yesterday, "Oh, you still talk to her?" She was referring to someone who had betrayed my trust at one time. I said, "Yeah, it's okay. I just won't tell her anything personal, that's all

There's only so much I can really say about 9/11 that hasn't already been said. We've all remembered where we were at the time of the tragedy and how we felt as we heard about the second tower being struck. The annual memorial brings us all together to remember each and every person who lost their lives, but is it too much? I think about it and wonder how much of a heartache it would be for me if I had to go to my Dad's funeral every July 21rst. It's almost like the same thing. Yes, let us not forget, but also, not lose ourselves to grief once more and relive that terrible moment in time. I have mixed feelings. I watched the memorial on TV, and although I have come to terms over what had happened, I found myself crying as each name was called out, and especially the moment of silence for each plane that crashed. My question is: are the surviving loved ones ever going to have peace? Or are they going to continue grieving for something that had taken place eleven ye

Some might disagree with this, but I am not anti-atheist - I just have so many questions in my mind about the feeling of not believing in anything, or for a lack of better terms, the feeling of having scientific proof tell you that there is no god. Here's why I'm so inquisitive... I'm not trying to 'poke' anyone or provoke ill feelings, but for me, if I somehow found out that there was no god, no heaven and no afterlife whatsoever, I would have nothing to live for, because I have nothing to die for. (Hope that makes sense.) My entire life, from morning till evening is dedicating my life, my heart to God and relying on Him to make me "okay". For instance, in the morning while I'm cleaning up and making my bed before work, I pray. I talk to God as if He was right there in person, and to me, He is. I set a time in the morning to sit outside and pray. It rejuvenates me even more than my favorite coffee. When I don't talk to God and miss a day - it

"Well it can't be all that bad since you've gone out a couple of times this week," she texted, while trying to prove a point that I was miraculously and emotionally healed just by going out for a bite to eat (and drink) with either my mom or my wife at the local bar and grill. Did she just expect me to sit home and cry for another six months or so? Would that prove to her that my love for my father was genuine? My friend was very angry, bitter and very sad over a few things. She's going through a horrible divorce after an abusive marriage and her dog just got hit by a car and didn't make it. She is self-medicating heavily, and dangerously I might add. She continued on with her rant... "I've been drinking and popping xanax from morning till night not getting out of bed for nearly a week because of my sadness between my divorce and my dog. My dog wasn't just a pet, he was my world." My response was, "I'm so sorry you're feeling

Your life isn't for nothing - everything you do is for something. I remember weeks before Dad passed, he said to the social worker, "Ya can't believe it - it was like yesta'day when I was out working two jobs makin' money and enjoying life, n' just like dat - (as he snaps his fingers) - it's ova'!"  She looked at him and said, "But look what you did, Charlie? Look at all your accomplishments. Look at all the families enjoying their backyards because you laid the foundations for them. Look at all the people who enjoyed a good meal because you ran a fish market. You made a huge difference and you're still making a difference today."  Life can seem grim and hopeless, especially when everything you've worked so hard on is initially over. But when you truly think about it -- is it over? Have you left something behind that people can still look back upon? Have you planted seeds that people are still appreciating? Even good advice is a