Letter to Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg

Dear Mayor Bloomberg,

I understand you're banning soft drinks in large quantities as well as trans fat in most chain restaurants. While I think it's a great attempt to improve our health, I also think you've missed a few other things that are bad for our health in large quantities. I would like to give you my suggestions if you're just going to limit it to soft drinks and trans fat, so hear me out.

  1. Make all bars limit each patron to two drinks maximum. Not only will you save lives by not having people drive home drunk, but you're saving women from the risk of breast cancer as "studies" show.
  2. Don't let any (one) person buy an entire pizza pie, unless they come in with a family of eight. 
  3. Make every New Yorker pay dues to a gym membership. If our health is so important, then enforce a gym membership rule. 
  4. Ban all white bread. 'Nuff said.
  5. Ban all "Americanized" Chinese takeout food. China is known for eating medicinal foods that enhance their health, not deteriorate it, (even if it's a lot of bugs and squiggly things). 
  6. Shut down all chain restaurants, ie: KFC, Fridays, McDonald's, Burger King, Popeye's, Chili's, IHOP --and the list goes on and on.
  7. In our good ol' Yankee Stadium --- ban all hot dogs and beer. (See if you get reelected.) 
  8. Limit all bagels with a schmear to a half a bagel with only one teaspoon of a schmear.
  9. Make all liquor stores sell every single bottle in mini liquor nips that are usually found on the counter. No more big bottles of anything --- just nips. And no more than two. 
  10. Make every deli in New York limit their cold cuts on each sandwich to only 2 slices of meat and the rest vegetables. Ban mayo. 
Thank you for your time and cooperation in this matter. I hope to see these rules enforced as well, since you've been really looking out for our health. We all thank you for taking away New York's right to order what they want. Now it's time for me to go out and buy a case of beer. Thankfully, that hasn't been banned yet.

Debra Pasquella

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