Political Cesspool

It's not that I'm not aware, it's only because life is too short to be worrying about "wealthy" people or those who don't do enough for society. I read about it, watch it on the news, see it on Facebook threads and think, why are we all so caught up in what other people are doing? But there are people who point out a very logic and valid point: it affects us in some way. But my question is: can we control it? There is absolutely nothing we can do. Look at Occupy Wall Street - they have camped out, protested, made scenes and even sadly, have closed down mom and pop stores do to the chaos. Not only have they tried to make their point, they closed down small businesses to which they were for. It backfired. This is how I see it... We live in a society full of greedy people and those who hate the greedy people. But, there are so many people complaining about "wealthy" people - those who have earned it. This country was built on enterprise and if we take that away, we'll be inching closer to socialism, and perhaps communism. I had a semi religions and political debate with a friend where he was claiming all wealthy people were evil. When I took my stance upon it, he said, "Well then, you must be rich."  Far from it. And that's when I actually can say something - because I'm not rich - I disagree with everyone counting everybody else's money. Get your nose out of other people's business and live your lives the best you can because in the end ---does it really matter?  And after all the pointless protesting, where has it gotten you? And no, I don't agree with greedy politicians spending tax payer's dollars on luxury boats, fancy cars and 5 star hotels, but I also believe that all secrets are eventually revealed. You can't hide out like that for very long.

Have you ever noticed those political chatters on Facebook posting one blabber after another who really don't contribute anything other than spewing their hatred for the 'greedy republicans'? I get their point and many of it, I agree with, but if you're that passionate about it - go out and do something about it (if one can). Most folks on Facebook like to yank other people's political chains around for attention, but when someone is that passionate about a certain political matter - start a group - let people join in and 'try' to do something. But in my opinion, it's totally out of our hands unless someone in office can actually stand on their own two feet and make decisions on their own, even if against their will, like Barack Obama.  He quoted this back in 2008, “I believe that marriage is the union between a man and a woman. Now, for me as a Christian — for me — for me as a Christian, it is also a sacred union. God’s in the mix.” - April 17, 2008, while running for president, defining marriage at the Saddleback Presidential Forum. Did he have a change of heart, or did he simply start to understand more about what love between two people really is? Or was he persuaded? Was it for the upcoming election? So while there is still a glimmer of hope for some things in politics, My money is on political driven agendas. I don't believe that "we" as a country, as civilians, matter all that much. I also honestly believe that our votes don't mean shit. It's the electoral votes that matter. So where do "we" stand? We stand on the sidelines watching "them" run our lives. All we can do is enjoy 'now' and what we have, for whatever time God lets us have it. Or is that "too religious" for you?

For more of Deb's articles, please visit: www.debrapasquella.com

Coexisting

For years now, I've been arguing with "judgmental Christians" who mostly have a narrow view of the world and society. It became my mission to "correct" them -- as well as to protect those who were confused, belittled and hurt by these so called loving Christians. I still try to protect those who are hurt by religious and judgmental people, but there's more to it. There's the understanding of other people's "religious truth". The fact that religion in itself, spirituality in itself, has no scientific evidence, which is ironic that they call it "truth". I guess it's to make a much more persuasive impact on mind control, or perhaps brainwashing. Although my faith (my truth) cannot budge due to someone else trying to convince me otherwise, I no longer try to convince people to ~walk this way~.  God gave us all a choice. It's not up to me to point to whichever direction, because who knows, maybe my direction isn't the best path for that individual. It's my personal path. I just read a piece by a brilliant poet and writer named, Mark Durfee. His post reminded me of a past argument I had with someone who claimed they were "Mulsim, Hindu, Jewish, Christian, Atheist and Buddhist". She also said she was a "black lesbian Christian man". You can read more about that post here. As you can imagine if you have either read me before or know me in person, I was highly confused over this insane 'logic' and challenged her on what she meant by that. My mind wasn't as opened as I would have liked it to be.

The concept of claiming all religions is basically accepting all people. I took the meaning literally, as in saying, "You can't be a Christian and a Muslim". I couldn't wrap my mind around it. Even in my book, I had a section about "fortune cookie religions" as I called it, and how I don't believe people of different religions should pray together. That's just me. I feel to be stronger in your faith as a Christian, you should pray with others (or alone if you choose) of  the same practice. By nature, we're highly influenced and sometimes persuaded on practices and religions that are more accepting to us. Many develop a mindset of -- 'well this religion doesn't believe this is okay to do, but this religion is okay with it'.  Who am I to judge anyone who believes differently? Although my faith is still the same, I no longer argue about the complexity of another faith. I simply just accept and learn from people.  Mark pointed out a very important portion that I failed to understand. He said, "When I say I believe all religions guess you can say I also believe none of them. Buddha said live well by treating others well, Jesus said the same, even Mohammed said the same. But that is human life, mortal life."

Isn't that what life's all about? Thanks, Mark.

Tweet for the day:

Nadine Alexandra ‏@NadineA_Dewi

We are all different colours & religions but we have something in common; the Earth. We have nowhere else to live so just learn to accept!

For more of Deb's articles, please visit: www.debrapasquella.com

Change

There's something to be said for animals sensing your emotional state. I found out Dad wasn't feeling too well. He seems to becoming much weaker. It's very hard to see someone you have always thought as "the strongest man in the world" become weakest person you know. The gradual, perhaps rapid progression of his illness is starting to show, as I denied it while seeing him happy and in no pain for about two weeks straight. When I came home yesterday, I opened the door to the happiest puppy I've ever seen. We ran on the lawn together, I let her play with her toys and then when she got tired, she joined me on the deck to relax. Mommy needed a glass of wine or three. We have an awning (oversized rafter) that extends from the house, so if you sit out on the deck, you can watch the pouring rain and not get wet. I wrapped Lola up in a fuzzy blanket that my niece Sophia gave to her --- (Sophia's baby blanket) which I thought was incredibly sentimental. Lola and I stayed out on the deck for an hour or so. She looked up at me and kept licking my tears as I had a little breakdown moment. She knew I was sad. She then snuggled up to the nape of my neck and slept there for the rest of the hour. Although I was sad, I felt incredibly peaceful with her lying on me, knowing exactly what I was feeling. It was one of the most perfect moments I have had in a very long time.

I realize things are changing and yet part of me is still trying to hold onto everything I ever had, and still have. I guess that would make things worse when I get a rude awakening with each "surprise" circumstance. People try to give all types of advice on handling life's little twists and turns. And one of the advices I got actually worked with adopting Lola. Although there's still chaos around me, she seems to ground me in a way where I don't 'freak out' - or have anxiety attacks. I have never slept so good before. I have never felt my home so full of life before. People used to tell me about it, but I just figured that misery loves company --not true. I'm not saying puppies make everything better, but they certainly help make life seem a bit more doable, even if you take them out to do potty for 20 minutes to only have them run back into your living room to defecate. It's all good.

For more of Deb's articles, please visit: www.debrapasquella.com

It's a Girl!

Say hello to Lola Felicidad Pasquella, an 8 week old Chihuahua mix from Puerto Rico. She was found in a field abandoned with her brother who was also adopted. I picked her up at a nearby rescue shelter and right away, I knew she was the perfect little addition to our family. I'm welcoming her on my blog because you'll see a lot of her in my posts since she has brought so much happiness to not only my wife and I, but to my entire family who she loves so much. She's great with my sisters' kids and all she wants is to be near you, even if she's leaning up against you chewing on her rawhide drooling all over the place. Most of you know how OCD I am about 'cleanliness' and 'germs'...  Since she's been here - not. one. concern. And the thing that baffles me is, my allergist told me I was highly allergic to dogs. After a few days of sniffling and itchy skin - all my allergy problems have disappeared - in fact - I don't have wheezing or inner ear problems like I used to. Lola on the other hand has an inner ear problem and snores at night. I'm wondering if she took my ailments away... But I know for sure it definitely brings a smile to Mom whenever she sees her.

I've become that annoying dog mommy on Facebook & Twitter as well. Every single thing she does is "cute" to me. She's already potty trained and doesn't spoil her sleeping quarters. Bath time was a bit of a challenge but she's getting used to her environment and is a very happy and saved puppy. At night, we always fall asleep together on the couch before I have to tuck her into her huge mansion of a crate. When she is completely potty trained (100%) then she can stay in the bedroom with us. I plan to spend the next 15+ years with her. I just wish animals lived longer than humans... When Dad & Mom met her, they absolutely adored her. In fact, it was my mother who named her, Lola. Dad's face lights up whenever he sees "that little rat" I bring over. "Das' not a real dawg - it's a rat!"  Then he starts smiling and pets her head as she tries to give him puppy kisses. It's cute. I didn't realize how healing animals are in general. I've forgotten about my anxiety and my depression has lessened a great deal. No wonder they provide those 'therapy dogs' in hospitals. Now I get it.  Any 'new mommy' tips are welcomed if you have any advice about training or how to bathe them without them freaking out.

And now, time to walk Lola... Here are some more photos...

For more of Deb's articles, please visit: www.debrapasquella.com

The Caretaker

Yesterday, Mom was crying. I asked, "What's wrong?" Stupid question on my part perhaps, yet I still wanted to know why my mother, who hardly ever cries (at least in front of people) would be so sad. She was sitting on the couch that was across the room from my dad, who was lying on his bed which hospice provided. During the past couple of weeks, they've been cracking jokes, laughing and really enjoying their time together. Yesterday was different. My mom doesn't like to "upset me" as she thinks. She doesn't want to burden me with "stuff" - but for me, how can I possibly help not knowing what she needs? I asked her again, "What's wrong?" She nodded her head with no words spoken. I asked again, and she said, "Nothing," nodding her head and fumbling with her tissue in her hands. I asked her if she wanted me to call a hospice nurse so I could take her out for an hour or two, but she declined. I felt powerless. She looked so defeated. She's so tired. In the morning, she helps my dad shower, washes his hair and dresses him. This is what hospice is supposed to do - this is what hospice is all about - to help not only the person who is terminally ill, but to help the family members as well. We've noticed a lot of flaws with hospice, like promised visits that are never fulfilled. They tell my mother, "Give him this pill" and then later on, another nurse will say, "Oh why didn't you call me before you gave him the pill? He's not supposed to take that!"  I was present when the nurse told my mom which pill to give him. She gave him the correct one and now because of hospice's mistake, they yelled at my mom - my mom who is completely exasperated from being a caretaker - more so than she ever was. Thank God for my sister who really gave them a piece of her mind.

Mom keeps having the same occurring dream. She said she dreamt about forgetting to feed her baby - "a baby", but not sure if it was hers.  She has this dream often. "I keep forgetting to feed the baby in my dream! I'm running around doing all these things and stop right in my tracks and say, 'Oh no! The baby!'" She also dreams that she forgets to feed her dog. I went online and Googled it. I found a website that stated that if a person dreams about forgetting to feed a baby, it's symbolic for that person (in real life) is forgetting to nurture themselves. They're running around taking care of everybody else, but they don't take care of themselves, feed themselves, remembering that in order to take care of somebody else, they must take care of themselves. I have to keep an eye on mom because there are some days she goes without eating. She says she forgets, or that she's just not hungry, yet she'll nosh on potato chips if they're lying around. She hasn't really been out to dinner or lunch in a very long time, unless my dad is staying in the hospital and we are able to take her to a Friday's nearby. The main problem here is that she hasn't used hospice to the fullest extent as she should. She's always been a bit uptight about strange people in her house. She doesn't like the feeling of having anyone in her home without her being there. I remember when I used to get a cleaning woman with her husband to stop by my mom's house every week. She always said, "You're gonna be here right?" And, I had to be there until they were gone. So, having hospice there - people who are helping my dad is seen as an "intrusion" and I don't know how to convince her that they are there to help - not to rob us.  She has in her mind that anyone who does any service inside the home (even chimney sweepers, maintenance people) will try to hurt elderly people or take advantage of them. While this may be true in some cases, she has taken this to an extreme phobia that is taking her quality of life away.

There are no easy solutions, suggestions or ideas that can be given to Mom right now. She's watching her best friend, her husband, her companion for over 50 years and the strongest & toughest man she's ever met, become the weakest person she has ever seen. And although I'm his daughter and love my dad, I can't imagine what she's going through emotionally. My fear is that her emotional well-being will trickle into her physical well-being if she doesn't start looking out for herself, or at least accepting the help that she's offered from both the immediate family and hospice. Please keep my parents in your prayers if you can.

"Don't count the days, make the days count." ~Muhammad Ali

For more of Deb's articles, please visit: www.debrapasquella.com

If I Were a Rich Girl

Have you ever wondered what other people think of you? Have you ever had the chance for someone bold enough to tell you? It's quite interesting what we 'think' people think of us, as opposed to what they really think. We put ourselves on a lesser scale most of the time, but that's kind of normal. I couldn't believe what happened to me yesterday though. I used to date this guy when I was only 19 years old. We parted because he was very umm ---"passionate" --- to the point of going into fits of rage about whatever. He was very intelligent and extremely into Christianity. But there was that fine line between intelligence and insanity. I actually mean that as a compliment. He has philosophical, religious, conspiracy theory-like views on the world and it makes for a really great conversation at times, but somehow, he can take it to a whole new level, one that may possibly offend. On Facebook he was going on about rich people and how they were all evil. He said that God will never take rich people into heaven and that he was very happy that he didn't have an Italian last name because it held a stigma. As I kept reading, you know I had to chime in. In jest, I said, "Oh now you gotta start bustin' on the Italians, eh?" Once you comment on one of his threads, he will answer you back 50 more times - even if you don't comment back. He has no social cues or limits - it's weird. I then saw a comment that said, "Well it's easy for you to say since you're rich and successful."  ...What? Are you kidding?  He went on... "Your parents were very well to do which is clouding your judgement on the wealthy." ...What? He then went into our past relationship (19 yrs ago) about petty little things that used to upset him. Three words: get. over. it.

I commented about his complaint over rich people and how evil they were. I told him that God wants us to be happy and live abundant lives - to enjoy the fruits of our labor. There is a huge difference between being wealthy and being greedy. But he classified both as the same. He kept telling me how God frowned upon the wealthy. In the Bible, it says this: "Even so, I have noticed one thing, at least, that is good. It is good for people to eat well, drink a good glass of wine, and enjoy their work—whatever they do under the sun—for however long God lets them live. And it is a good thing to receive wealth from God and the good health to enjoy it. To enjoy your work and accept your lot in life—that is indeed a gift from God. People who do this rarely look with sorrow on the past, for God has given them reasons for joy." ~Ecclesiastes 5:18-20  When people start judging other people's financial situations -- they can't possibly know their situation or "count their money" for them. They can only assume that they have it made, but being wealthy does not guarantee happiness. It also doesn't mean that God isn't going to accept him. So by my stance upon this one topic, his memories of coming over as a kid and that I'm a published author, he automatically assumed that I must be rich. And let me tell ya, being an "author" or writing in general does not mean they're wealthy. I'm not sure why so many people think they're going to make millions off one book.  It's hard work. There's a lot of shameless self promotion you have to do and after all that, you still have to keep plugging in order to keep afloat. 

Why are people so focused on other people's situation? Don't we all have our crosses to bear? Aren't we in this together - or is it all about competing in life?  Because if it is - I was never in the game. I never wanted to be "a big star" or climb the ladder of success just so I can say I've been there. I wanted to be happy with my lot in life - my work - my passion - not by merely having a 'status'. If people think lesser of me because I didn't "make it" - then so be it. People who are so consumed with other people's businesses never deal with their own 'business' and then complain about it. I truly believe we all have cycles in life - from trying to work hard to get from point A. to point B. and the world's view of "success". We all go through one way or another and when we're down on our luck, some of us grumble about what this one or that one has - and even obtaining the mindset of, "Well they just got lucky." In my opinion, those people who bitch and moan and complain about someone else's situation reeks of pure jealousy or resentment. There's this negative energy that's just so overwhelming - you can't help but wonder what their motives are behind their mutterings of hatred. You'll find them sidetracking to other things that'll 'really get you' and attack you for everything you stand for. 


Life's way too short to deal with jealous and insecure people. So guess what I did to my old boyfriend yesterday?  "Delete! Delete! Delete!"  


For more of Deb's articles, please visit: www.debrapasquella.com

Finding John Smith

I've had the great pleasure and opportunity to be one of the first to screen and review, Finding John Smith written by Jennifer Fontaine, Marlo Bernier & Tim Anderson. It's one of the first indie movies that had my emotions teeter-tottering from laughter to tears. There are so many special parts to this film that it's hard to narrow down which scene I loved the best. The story is based upon a young girl named Aaseamah Khalid, (played by Dominique Joelle) who finds herself in the middle of a chaotic bombing in Iraq, where two journalists quickly snagged her up into their truck for safety by Jake and Jody, (which are played by David Mattey and the beautiful Jennifer Fontaine).  Thinking they had left the young girl behind with Iraqi officials, they quickly learned after their flight back in a midwest airport bathroom that Aaseamah had snuck her way into the U.S. to get help in finding her father --- John Smith.  This is where the movie gets quirky and gives off a slight humor to the story line.

Jody McKenton (Jennifer Fontaine) plays a steadfast and strong-minded journalist who brings her cameraman, Jake everywhere she goes. They embark on a mission to find Aaseamah's father. All three of them head off into their news van straight into the middle of Iowa.  At first Jody seems cold in the beginning of the film - rigid and a tad aggressive, until you start to fall in love with her softness and developing vulnerability later on in the film. She becomes very likable at that point for me. She is constantly being stalked by a co-worker as she does this particular story because Missy Martinez, (played by Lydia Blanco) who is a small time news anchor is ready and willing to fill Jody's shoes and extremely jealous of  her success.

I especially loved the character Jake, (played by David Mattey). He's very likable in this movie. This gigantic, almost 7 ft tall bearded man with enormous tribal tattoos all over his arms is one. huge. teddy bear. It's evident he has a special place in his heart for Jody and you can literally feel the sparks fly as they both interact with one another. One of my favorite scenes is of Jake teaching Aaseamah how to say "pizza" and "coke" as they're face-to-face for the first time eating lunch in the break room of the news studio. He takes the time out to teach her new words and she quickly sees the softy that he is and adores him like her own father. They develop this unique father/daughter bond throughout the film. His easy and humorous demeanor, while wearing his heart on his sleeve gives this film an emotional twist or two. I'm always a sucker for a big and seemingly tough guy who is really as gentle as a lamb.Any film that can put me into ten moods in less than 90 minutes is definitely a must see. The brilliance of this movie is all in the details. Every scene, every response, facial expression and unsaid communication is what I truly admired. It shows you everything from the oppression of the Iraqi civilians, learning about the Gulf War Syndrome and overall, how love and family can quickly develop even if there is a language barrier.  Very moving! I'm looking forward for everyone to see Finding John Smith when it's finally released. This crew not only worked their tail ends off on this film, but they actually had the ability to put so much heart into it.

Click here to be updated and informed of its release on October 16, 2012. "Like" them and check out some of their photos, trailers and other neat things on their Facebook page.

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For more of Deb's articles, please visit: www.debrapasquella.com