Thursday, January 24, 2019
Did You Know Unforgiveness Causes Stress On the Body?
IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome)
Lower immunity (getting more colds & flus)
Back problems (we store our emotions in our spine as well as chest)
Bursts of anger
Through my own personal journey into truly forgiving those who have hurt me, I had to do a few things. This may not be 'your thing' --- but it helped me to let it go. You can try it in your own way and see how it works.
Creative Ways to Forgive Someone Who Has Hurt You
For me, I confessed my sins to God, because not forgiving someone is a sin in my faith. I confessed my unforgiveness and asked God for His forgiveness. I lit a candle for each person that I held resentment toward. It was a symbol of healing. I prayed for all of them, including healing for myself. I meditated and sent positive energy into each relationship I had with each person. Remember, even though you may feel empowered by holding onto a resentment somehow, the other person may be unaware of your strong grievance toward them---they may be going on with their lives happy and joyful, while you're still home seething over it. Let it go.
Another way to forgive someone is to sit down with them and just talk about it one last time. Get it all out and tell that person how you truly feel about them. Because if you are really bothered by what they have done to you, you must still like or love this person. If you were indifferent toward them, the offense wouldn't have bothered you so much. Tell them how hurt you still are, and that you are trying to overcome this obstacle and that you love or care for them very much. It makes a huge difference.
Write a handwritten letter to them in detail, explaining how you feel and how you would like forgiveness to play a huge role in your relationship. This is sometimes easier, since writing it all out is easier. Do not email or text this since it's a bit impersonal. Handwritten letter only.
Make a list and write down everything good about that person. Make a pros and con list. Write down all of their good qualities, as well as their 'not so desired qualities' and see where you stand with that. Then make a conscious choice to really let it all go.
Take some post its and write down each 'hurt' or 'offense' that person has done to you. Go to your fireplace, or outside to your fire pit and burn each one, symbolizing that it's no longer an issue in your life.
"...forgive us for our trespasses, we we forgive those who trespass against us."----The Lord's Prayer
Talk to an a psychologist or an online certified therapist if you feel more comfortable. An online therapist provides a 24/7 chatroom as well as video and phone sessions. It's less expensive than a face-to-face traditional type of therapy. I use BetterHelp, which has been such a blessing. Talk to an online therapist and gain some positive feedback on your situation. Talk to someone about your pent up feelings of anger. Don't be afraid to get the help you need---you're worth it. You deserve someone who can guide you and give you some qualified and trained tips on how to cope with these feelings you have.
Forgiveness is healing, not only to the one who is being forgiven, but especially for you.
For more of Deb's articles, please visit: www.debrapasquella.com or join her on Facebook and Twitter. Check out her cooking blog at Deb's Cucina for some of her famous recipes!
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