Topics dealing with mental health, grief, relationships and the sole reliance on trusting God.
All articles are written by Debra Pasquella.
What You Resist Persists
There is a lot of truth to that saying, "Whatever you resist persists." I've heard it before, but sort of dismissed it as one of those nonsensical inspirational kinda' quotes that you usually find on social media. But think about it: whatever you resist will persist, so when you stop resisting, it will stop - it will discontinue. I remember telling my therapist about all the panic attacks I was experiencing. She said, "Acknowledge it and accept it. It's like the riptide: the more you fight it, the more it will attack you." So basically, what she meant was: what you embrace is what will dissolve. Think about it - if someone taunts you and tries to get your goat, what happens if you ignore them? What happens when they get no response from you? They stop. But what if that person gets an angry response? It continues. And that was my entire problem - even recently. I mean, I would react to things that I didn't want to happen. So, it would go on and on, until I stopped reacting and resisting it.
My mother always tells me, "Turn the other cheek," when I'm faced with some sort of conflict or hurt by someone. It's the same exact thing as "what you resist persists" type of thinking. Turn the other cheek and get slapped again? YES. Because there'll be no more cheeks left…umm…well sort of. I would resist criticism and attack their flaws instead. But I should have listened, and then if I so desired, either take the criticism constructively or just dismiss it - but not to fight it. That would only cause conflict within myself. I know a few people in my life who are just fault finders and those who just want to yank yer' chain a little to see how you react. For the ones who do this - they're bored. They want conflict, otherwise they wouldn't know what to do with themselves. They're insecure and not comfortable in whatever environment they're in. So, they start biting your ankles. Let them. When they see it doesn't affect you - *poof* - gone with the wind.
Which brings me to an interesting scenario that you'll get a kick out of hopefully. There's this girl I know who is totally in the closet about being a lesbian. She lives a double life, and for the love of God - she's in her 40's! She keeps this huge secret from her family and closest friends, except of course, from me. She knows I've been with my wife for 20 years and that seems like a "safety net" to her in some way. Anyway, what I don't understand is, when we are all together in a group of our friends, she will pick on me or even mock my lifestyle - like casting me out as the "man-hater" to which I'm totally not. Or she'll indicate that since I'm gay, that I must be hitting on all my 'gal pals', which is so far from the truth. She'll make comments in front of everyone, just to take the attention off of her. But the thing is, everyone else doesn't have a problem with me being the 'gay girl' in the group - only the other gay girl in the group has the problem. Isn't that a kick in the ass? So, I never entertain the comments nor 'out' her. I let her go on about her "distaste" in gays and lesbians (of course in jest) and just keep every thought to myself, or jot it down on my blog. And of course, I can quickly snap back and say, "Why don't you tell everyone you're gay? What's the big deal?" But doing that would only cause more resistance to the truth, and more conflict.
It's hard to remain quiet when you want to blurt out something painfully truthful, just for the mere fact of just having a reactive type of personality. But this is where 'what you resist persists' comes in. Sometimes, just accepting whatever negative thing is happening in your life right now is more ammunition to make it disappear. It's a very difficult thing to do, especially if you're extremely responsive to negative feedback, criticism and shitty circumstances. You want to change it as fast as you can. But when you've exhausted all efforts to change it - to resist it - then you're left with remnants of a backfired tailpipe. It takes practice and many learning curves, but in the end, nothing will penetrate your bubble of protection from negative people. You'll eventually stop absorbing everything, to which will cause the self-loathing idiots to give up the battle and move onto the next sensitive soul.
Matt & Alissa Walsh & The Duggars Within the last couple of days, I have been responding to a post entitled, "T he Duggars Aren't Hypocrites. Progressives Are ," by a blogger named, Matt Walsh. I read Matt Walsh because I like content that goes against my grain. Some of it I agree with, while others I don't. That's the beauty of following someone with drastic opposing opinions. He wrote about Josh Duggar and if you're not sure who Josh Duggar is, he is a reality TV star on the show called, 19 Kids and Counting on TLC. The show was pulled after news of him sexually molesting several girls as well as his own sisters when he was a teenager. Josh was apart of an anti-LGBT religious group, to which he quit due to the issues brewing all over mainstream media. My issues with this story is that Josh Duggar has continually bashed the LGBT community for their "immorality" with his Bible, even having a lesbian aunt as a relative. The problem is the
Let's get one thing straight right off the bat: I do not rejoice in other people's shortcomings or problems. What I do take a tiny bit of pleasure in, is seeing hypocrites being brought out to the light. As God says in the bible, everything secretive will be brought out into the light. Conservative blogger, Matt Walsh who takes pleasure in bashing gays, lesbians and transgenders, calling them "sick perverts" who have "mental illness" has finally admitted that he was wrong about Josh Duggar. He laughs, mocks and bullies those who are of the LGBT community and uses God as a shield so that he won't come across as the ol' fashioned bigot that he is. He proudly shows off his tattoos, smoking a cigar and drinking beer like a good ol' boy. It never ceases to amaze me that someone with tattoos can mock someone who is "sinfully" gay. "You shall not make any cuts in your body for the dead nor make any tattoo marks on yourselves: I am the
Anxiety & Derealization Panic attacks can often feel like you're losing control, or perhaps going to lose it and go crazy. Some experience derealization---a sense of a surreal world---as if you're in your own home, but it's a different place somehow. Many people are experiencing this derealization these days ever since the pandemic has come to a low simmer. I'm sure you know many people who don't go out as much---or at all. And once we step outside, it feels different---surreal---weird---foggy, right? It's not the same world, we think to ourselves. It doesn't feel like the same place. That's how people who suffer with agoraphobia feel. Long periods inside their home, or long periods avoiding places can make some feel as though they're in a different world altogether. I sometimes chuckle, because a lot of these 'spiritualists' on TikTok claim that the world ended in 2012 and that we are living in a different universe, which is why we feel