Monday, July 27, 2020

Which Is Worse? Isolation or COVID-19?

To tell you the truth, I have yet to figure this one out. As New York's numbers in cases and mortality declines, the south is seeing a huge spike unfortunately. We've had a couple here and a couple there get tested positive, but less than seven people died in our state...sad, but better than thousands. As I continue to 'shelter-in-place,' along with the occasional trip here 'n there, perhaps to a park or the farm market, I'm seeing so many people having pool parties in large numbers, going out to bars and restaurants without wearing masks and having a great time. I'm also seeing thousands protesting in NYC. But we're "good"---right? No one is getting infected really. And if they are, it's super mild. Did New York conquer the bug? Has it weakened? Or, will it catch up to us eventually? Are we in the "February" where we saw a few cases and then BAM---March had us locked down-throw-away-the-key kinda quarantining.

I'm so sick and tired of people fighting over everything, between the masks, and if the corona virus is real or not real, or mild or strong or deadly---it's getting ridiculous. So let's just say nobody knows what the hell is going on. Some rely on science and some say that the scientists are evil and corrupted liars trying to push a communistic agenda, and on and on and on.

So do we still 'shelter in place' or can we go out, with the risk of the virus being out there and live our lives again? Do we sacrifice our physical health for our mental health or our mental health for our physical health? Because from what I'm seeing and experiencing, being 'sheltered in place' is truly wreaking havoc on everyone's mental health. For me, I get anything from horrible panic attacks, insomnia, myoclonic seizures, racing heart, bouts of crying---when is this going to end? I've never felt so lonely as I have now. Top that off with a sprinkle of hypochondria and you got yourself a complete meltdown palooza.

Even though I work from home mainly in the morning till mid-afternoon, my routine has come to a dead stop. No more light shopping (cause I get my groceries delivered usually) or going out to the farm market to get fresh produce. No more nights out to our favorite restaurants or visiting our friends and family. And since I'm at high risk, I'm nervous to be around other people, who have exposed themselves to many people. That doesn't mean I am judging them at all, but I refuse to be around those who feel that the virus won't affect them. Maybe it won't, but I went through it in March and it was awful. I'm not sure if this bug can reinfect, because frankly, nobody knows a damn thing about this virus yet. Get the vaccine when it comes out---don't get the vaccine---the vaccine will kill you---the vaccine is the only cure. My head is literally spinning with so much misinformation. I don't know who or what to trust in regards to getting the right information about this virus.

I've been told so many things lately:

  • "If you don't go out, you'll develop really bad agoraphobia." (Too late.) 
  • "If you don't go out and face this, you'll lose all your friends." (FaceTime works for me, my friends are still there thankfully.) 
  • "If you don't face your fear, you'll end up really depressed." (But if I get COVID-19, where will I end up being since I'm at high risk? Isn't this a legit fear?)
  • "You have to live your life, Deb! You can't just stay home all the time." (Why, where will I go? To a BBQ that consists of 30+ guests?) 
  • "You're doing exactly what the government wants you to do. They're watching our behavior to test communism on us." (How do we know this? What happened in 1918 with the Spanish Flu--was that a test too?)

These are the things that drive me nuts, besides the lack of face-to-face human interaction. It's true, we are social creatures and need to be around other people if that's what makes us happy. Sometimes, if I'm around too many people, I get over sensitized---sending my energy into a downward spiral of fatigue. But too little sends my reserved energy into a panic type of energy.

So which is worse?

Isolation or contracting the virus?

What do you think and what are your thoughts and opinions regarding the virus itself, and how you live (or want to) live your life?

For more of Deb's articles, please visit: www.debrapasquella.com
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