|"I'm just fine thank you."|
A good friend and neighbor of mine recently lost her husband of thirty years to cancer. She was out walking her dogs and I was driving by. I rolled down the window and said hi....and asked how she was. Her eyes welled up with tears as she nodded "yes" with very little words, blurting out, "I'm fine" -- but she wasn't. I just said, "I know...I'm right up the road if you need anything." She nodded again, this time wiping away a tear. I felt all the pain she felt just by looking at her face. It was overwhelming how I could have absorbed so much in such little interaction. I know why she was holding back. It's because there are way too many people with insincere "how are yous" and less of genuine concern. She didn't want to bog me down with her sad story, but I would have parked my car right in her driveway and got out just to talk to her if she needed. But how would she have known that? She wasn't "fine" as she had stated. I hate the fact I didn't drill her more so I could help her, because sometimes people just want to be left alone...or do they? And she didn't probably want to 'bother' me. So how does anyone know what to do in this case?
So next time, when you see me or if you come in contact with me and I ask, "How are you?" Tell me. Vent. I'll listen. I wish more people would stop using "how are you" instead of just saying, "Hey there" -- or just a simple, "hi". Be genuine and stop the bullshit.
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