Most of us tend to focus on the past, dwelling on things that we should have done or that we could have done. We still pick the scabs of the past not giving it a chance to become a faded out scar. It’s true that our past makes us who we are today, but it’s another thing to continue living as a victim. We have a choice: we can either choose to learn from our past mistakes and traumas, or we can relive the past over and over again in our minds each and every day. It’s up to us. Easier said than done… I guess the true key in letting it go, is true forgiveness. Forgiveness goes both ways- not only to the person(s) who hurt you, but forgiveness for yourself as well. I think most of us forget about that. If we can relinquish all of the resentment and anger we store up in our system, we can see much clearer. The fog tends to lift and we can then get a better grip on how to handle our emotions without losing it completely.
It took quite a long time for me to realize this. It actually took two bad breakups, quite a few bottles of vodka and many therapy sessions. Even though I’m a big fan of the “potato juice”, I have to say that the worst thing to do while dealing with somebody who has hurt you is to drink. A lot of rubbish comes out of the pie hole- believe me. I’ve said some things that I would have never said while sober. I’ve even shocked myself in the process while reading some emails that were sent to the “enemy” while under the influence. It was a total different person. “I wrote that?” Delete, delete, delete. But, it’s still in their inbox. For myself, I’m more of an emailing terrorist while arguing with somebody. On the phone however, it’s “real”. Work it out. Try calmness at first. At times, and of course, with the tater juice, it can become brutal. Words have power. It’s up to you whether to use it for good or for bad – no matter how much the other person has hurt you.
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but harsh words stir up anger. ~Proverbs 15:1
I’m still a ‘work in progress’ here. God’s not done with me yet of course. I think all of the traumatic events and crap we’ve all been through is actually good for us. It helps us learn ‘what not to do’ for the next time around.
A wonderful quote from Thomas Edison: “I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.”
I still have many mistakes ahead of me. …I’m sure.
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