What makes a couple stay together for so long? What’s their secret? I’ve heard that asked a million times, and still, people always say, “You gotta keep the spark alive”, or “Always laugh together”. I think all of that is part of the makeup, but what about true, unconditional acceptance? I had dated a girl a while back, where I said, “This is me.” She said she wouldn’t have me any other way, until months down the line when she just couldn’t handle “me” anymore. I came with a warning label and always put my cards out on the table. When I met Madelene, I did the same. I also expected the same response, but she seemed stronger than the rest. Months went by, years went by, and she still loved, “me”.
It’s not all about finding the “perfect person” - it’s about accepting and loving the person for who they are, even finding yourself not wanting to live without their idiosyncrasies. What would I ever do if I wasn’t with Madelene and I didn’t get to hear her sneeze a hundred times in a row every single morning? ...I’d be lost. What would she do if I didn’t bitch and moan about eating whole wheat pasta and flipping my lid every single month when PMS strikes? (Probably live a much more peaceful life.) But, she accepts “me” and all of the flaws that come with my luggage. We don’t have the perfect marriage, but because of the imperfections that we do accept---this actually makes it perfect.
“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.” ~1 Corinthians 13:4-7
People hold too much resentment in their hearts for way too long. They’re quick to get angry and very slow to forgive. This is why I don’t like hearing the word, “pride”. To me, it reminds me of a bitter person who bites their tongue whenever the thought of forgiveness pops into their heads. To me, it’s holding up a face that hides the true heart. Whenever someone hides their true heart, they kill themselves slowly. They may feel they’re getting this person back by not forgiving them, but in reality, when time has passed, the only person they’re hurting and ‘getting back’ at, are themselves.
So next time you choose to remain angry at your loved ones or a friend, just remember that unforgiveness will hurt you more than it hurts them. Accepting unforgiveness is like ingesting poison. It literally will kill you both emotionally as well as physically. Forgiveness doesn’t always have to mean being best friends with the offender again, but it should release the negative energy, both for you and the person who had offended you. In a loving relationship, forgiveness is a huge thing. If you’re not able to see past the wrongs of your significant other, and realize you can only handle so much, then let them go, but also, let the bitterness go along with it. Carrying around bitterness is like carrying a bottle of boric acid with a hole in it. It’ll eventually eat at you. But, if you can get past the wrongs that have been done, then truly let go, forgive, and of course, try try try to forget.
Love keeps no record of when it’s been wronged.
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