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Showing posts from November, 2012

A Special Non-Facebook Birthday Wish

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There are so many things that are taken for granted. For instance, a phone call from a friend, a handwritten letter instead of a text, and of course, a birthday wish made in person and/or a greeting card sent. Those little things that were done more often in the past have become forgotten about - lost in the shuffle of Facebook reminders that your Aunt Lily's birthday is coming up. It's no longer engraved in our minds like it was before. Technology reminds us. Technology also keeps a memory of someone's phone number. Remember when we used to know everyone's number off the top of our heads? I do... It was comforting to know I didn't have to flip through all the letters of that person's name to get their digits. I'm not saying it's bad now, but how sincere is a birthday wish made when it's on a Facebook wall? You know everyone's been alerted, so does it make it special? I've seen many of my friends' birthdays pop up in my reminders and of

Just Not Lest Ye Be Judged

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Not a good look... The older I get, the more I'm finding out that people of my generation who are gay or lesbian are living in some time warp. While it's great to still feel young and to never grow up (because I never will), there comes a point where it's time to step out of the nightclub and well, get a life. I'm writing about my opinion on this simply because someone judged the way I lived. I was told that I'm "too domesticated" and "too content" in my life by the way I live. Why yes I am, and I love it. The reason why I trekked off to nightclubs at least twice a week was because I was trying to seek a life -- well maybe just a date at first -- and settle down. Isn't that the point?  I can't see staying out till 5am getting trashed more than twice a week appealing. And don't get me wrong, my wife and I love to go out and mingle, but we're so over the hangovers and drama that comes with staying out way too late. This person e

Facts About Twitter, In My Opinion...

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Remember the days of Myspace, where people could just leave random crap on your account without the ability to comment back? You would have to trek over to their account in order to respond to anything. It was tedious and well, self-indulgent in regards about your page being all about you, photos of you, tons of glitter, what you like, what you do, live, work, etc. Facebook is like that but much broader. Anyone can comment on anything you post, depending on your settings. It's more private, where as Myspace was usually kept open by many people. I admit, Facebook has become a major part of my communication with friends and family, but it doesn't help me search for things of interest like Twitter does. Twitter is fascinating, if you really learn about how to use it. At first, I was like, "Why would I just want to leave a bunch of status messages?" It's more than just telling the world you had the best seafood taco - it's about hashtagging topics of your choice

Lola to the Rescue

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It's our second snowfall of the year. It looks so beautiful and Christmassy outside. It's also our first winter without Dad. He loved it when it snowed. Nothing was impossible. The forecast could have called for ten feet of snow, but it was never a challenge for my dad. He had his huge tractors and backhoes ready for whatever buried us in. Years ago, when Madelene and I lived with  my parents before moving into our condo, we had these outrageous storms that blew in. Madelene and Dad were tough cookies. They were a team. Both of them would head out in these ridiculous hats and oversized snow jackets cleaning off the cars and plowing the entire driveway clean, while my mother and I sat inside cooking and having coffee like two kept housewives. "The men are outside," I'd say to Mom. I would head up onto the deck and throw snowballs right into the cab of my father's backhoe. "Sonnovabitch! See dis kid?" he'd yell at to Madelene while she'd back h

Are You Happy?

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The other day, I asked Mad, "Are you happy?" It was one of those trick questions where I wanted to see how she responds to it all - not necessarily, "Are you happy in our marriage" type of digging. I just wanted to know in general, was she "happy"...? She literally sprung up from the couch and said, "Of course! What's there to be unhappy about?" and then went on to the list of "happy little things" in our lives. I wasn't speaking about what we're grateful for, but merely an overall question about one's true happiness in life as a whole. They say happiness is a choice. Mad always tells me that words have power, but when you speak words that you think may bring those powerful 'happy' vibes over, is it more of wishful thinking -- like whatever you put out into the universe you'll get back type of mindset? Or is it a matter of believe it and receive it? Bear with me on this subject because it gets even more conf

A Little Thankin' & Giving

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If there is one annoying thing that I've noticed about Thanksgiving, it's the fact that I see many people taking it for granted. I'm not talking about the holiday itself - I mean the entire concept of Thanksgiving - what we are thankful for and how grateful we are. It's become one big "annoyance" for many. Some people have to travel to two or more locations in order to do their 'holiday rounds,' while others dread the day because it's just too much work. And it is work...but work done with love. Whether you spend it with family and friends or even alone, it's a holiday where you can count your blessings. Also, you don't need to have a holiday in order to count your blessings, but it's just a nice reminder on a starred day on our calendars. It's a time to forgive and to throw away any bitterness or resentments toward anyone. No fighting. No quarrels. No family drama. (Although sometimes that inevitable.) It's a perfect time

Bill of Rights for Grief

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From insomnia straight into a full fledge "sleeping beauty syndrome", like that Pennsylvania girl who has Kleine-Levin Syndrome, I slept well over 12 hrs last night. Periodically, Mad would shake me and ask, "Are you ok?" I was in a zombie-like state, staring at her not knowing what she was asking me - just seeing her lips move. Usually, I can't go to sleep at all, and if I do, I get these crazy jolts that wake me up. Some doctors believe it's sleep apnea, but it's only when I'm filled with anxiety. Mad watches over me while I sleep sometimes, and when I get these jolts, she notices that my breathing never stopped once. I even get these 'jolts' while I'm awake, but when I'm overtired. It's more neurological or something. I'm not sure. Doctors want me to take a sleep test, but I know for a fact I will never fall asleep. Even while being in the hospital overnight, I didn't sleep one second.  Yesterday was a very trying day

Restored Faith

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At times it's hard to decipher what's real and what's not. It's said that we only use 10% of our brain, which to me tells me there's so much power held in our little noggins that we haven't even tapped into yet. Is that the place that God lounges out in - our conscience - where our little angel and feisty devil sits together making all of our decisions for us?  Are dreams real? Do you believe we step out of our bodies and reach another world, or do you believe that it's just our subconscious telling us more than enough about ourselves in indirect ways? Another question: do you believe that deceased loved ones can talk to us in our dreams - like an actual visit? Or is that just our mind's way of mourning still? What about those psychic mediums on TV and others who claim to hear "dead people"? Some are right on target, but on TV, I usually suspect a little research about their victim is being done. Yes, I'm a skeptic, but not skeptical t

Lesbian Seeking Men

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For years I have spent hours and hours on the couch of some psychotherapist trying to defend my childhood or why I “chose” to be a lesbian. “You may very well be regressing some prior sexual abuse as a little girl, which is why you are gay.” And the worst part of that sentence is that it was from another gay therapist. She went on, “We choose this lifestyle and for good reason.” I looked at her confused and asked, “Then do people choose to be straight because they weren’t abused? Because if so, I know plenty of abused heterosexuals out there. Explain that to me please?” She couldn’t. I stumped the psychoanalyzing chump. Years later she had lost over 100 lbs worth of PTSD in weight by squeezing her stomach with a lap band and a ton of therapy to go with her eating disorder. Of course I had to change therapists and I started seeing another interesting character who had claims of seeing UFOs. It was then I stopped therapy with females altogether and just relied on my favorite logical

Counting Other People's Money

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Life. Strange. Mysterious. Complicated. Surreal. Some people have all the "luck" in the world, while others suffer so terribly. I always think of that song, " Only the Good Die Young"  by Billy Joel and I have to wonder, is it true? Even with fairness overall -- (to which I just had this conversation with Mark , a fellow blogger), why is it that there are people who work 12 hr shifts 8 days a week, while some wealthy guy sits back and collects inherited millions? Hard work. What is hard work? There are some people who have quit school and gone to work making more than the person who went to college for over 4 years with the desired career of choice. It's not about "fairness" -- it's all about our choices. We make our choice and yes, you can say, "Well I didn't choose to be poor, no one will hire me!" And of course, the wealthy man collecting inheritance money could say, "Well I didn't choose this either, but I'm sure as

'Dude', You Made My Day

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I pulled up to the grocery store to find that there wasn't one single parking spot available. Everyone was rushing around getting Thanksgiving food already. It was packed. I finally found a spot in the way way back of the lot, where they divided the parking lot with cement and brick wall. I didn't mind. After all, a little exercise wouldn't kill me. As I got out of my car, I noticed that I startled some young girl who was standing on top of the wall, overlooking the street below with her headphones on. I immediately waved and said, "I'm sorry I startled you!" She nodded and said, "No dude - you're cool...you're cool." So I continued to walk up to the store chuckling at her response. I remember being her age and all my friends making fun of my 'proper English". I always asked them, "Doesn't it get tiresome starting out every sentence with, 'dude'?" All the time, I heard, "Dude, let's go downtown to gr

Exorcising the Demons

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People amaze me sometimes. I cannot believe there are people still spewing hateful crap on the internet over the election. It's over. Done with. Finite. Move on. As you all know, I was a bit on the fence, doing research on both the candidates. Many of my readers and friends had piped in with their views and thoughts about why they're voting for who they were, and it definitely made a difference. But honestly? You know what pushed me over the edge to vote for Obama? The hateful right wing "Christians" who were bashing anyone and everyone who would dare disagree with them. I am so happy I didn't vote for Romney just because of his following. I can't even tell you how many times I have seen "Christians" call each other such hateful names -- filled with curses and racial slurs, and as you've seen through my experience, bigotry toward homosexuals.  In fact, I'll take it a step further. I can actually understand why so many people who do love God

Bright & Shiny

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If there is one thing I have learned in all of my, umm, 29 years is this: never expect anything from anyone. I don't mean to think less of someone else's abilities to do something for you, but never expect what may seem "appropriate" or what someone "should do" ---- they're not you. They can't read minds and if you don't tell them what you need, they may never know. "Well, he/she should know." --Not acceptable. People have these high expectations for others, which sometimes can be seen as unreachable or unobtainable, and it's not fair because that one person being mentally battered hasn't got a clue of what's brewing. For instance, and this one is not a huge deal, but my dad had a long time friend for years who had stopped calling once he passed away. Mom piped in, "Well he should have called by now."  But if you look at it in a different view, maybe he's taking it much harder than we realize. Granted, yes,

Absent

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Thanksgiving is only like two weeks away. Everyone is scattering around making plans to go wherever for a nice turkey dinner to gather with friends and family. This is going to be our first Thanksgiving without Dad. It feels strange to not have him around----period. It feels like there's a missing part of the circle that completes us -- like an opening that somehow needs to be closed. It feels drafty, unsafe, and more so, unpredictable. We want to keep that circle closed so that nobody else falls out. Anyone of us can fall out of this circle we have - and that makes it all too surreal. We do the best we can every single day, trying to cope with our great loss and support one another emotionally. We have been going through 'recovery mode' and trying the best we can to heal, but now, the holidays are approaching. Dad was a huge participant, so it's weighing down our hearts a bit more. Years ago, when I was growing up, we would always spend Thanksgiving home. Our relat

Romney vs. Obama

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Eeny meeny miny mo... It's that huge day where we all gather in some school or firehouse to elect which candidate gets to be head honcho. You all know how on the fence I was about this entire ordeal and even though I know who I'm voting for, I still have so many questions. I have been reading every single site that explains why you should be voting for 'this candidate' or 'that candidate' and I have kept in mind that all sites have their political stances: left, right and in between. After looking at all the 'extremities'  --- I then head over to read what the middle man has to say about all of this, whether it's Obama or Romney. I'm finding out that I'm not the only one that was absolutely baffled over the choice. "Pick the lesser of the evils" is a horrible way to walk into voting polls. I used to LOVE walking into our voting place and feeling so confident and proud over the candidate that I was going to choose. Today? I fee

Gina Hoppis Stated That All Americans Think Gays & Lesbians Are Disgusting

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This entire argument started over this post of Obama.  Yesterday afternoon, while being trapped inside the house going stir crazy because of the Sandy aftermath, I found myself scrolling through Facebook and came across a post a friend had commented on. It was a photo of Obama that said, "WANTED: FOR MURDER!" I had to read  why my friend was commenting on this. As I scrolled down to the comment section, I saw the poster, Jan Watts (who bragged over working for the largest radio enterprise in all of USA, a radio announcer, lifestyle editor and even had her own local TV show but who only has 200 Facebook fans) say, "DO NOT VOTE FOR THIS MAN!!" Then I saw my friend agreeing with a gentleman who had said, "I am not a Democrat, but posting such messages like this is disgusting. Any President would have had a terrible time in this economy. And, by the way-the economy has added a ton of jobs in the last three months. It will take time for our country to dig it

No GAS? Git' Yer' Guns Ready Ya Crazy New Yawkas!

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No gas in sight. I honestly don't think people realize the severity of the aftermath that Sandy left us with. (Of course the ones who never lost electricity or those who lost it for a mere two days or so, with no damage to their homes or lives lost.) I'm actually fascinated with Facebook right now, reading and scrolling what people are saying or complaining about, and those who are asking for shelter or a place to stay and those even offering. So it's a mixed bag. There are quite a few things that concern me: #1. People who have absolutely no understanding of the word "disaster" or "tragedy" and want their internet back on NOW. #2. People who cannot grasp the concept that gas is in demand, for gas stations themselves as well as for individuals filling their generators. People are killing one another over gas. New Yorkers, people in Florida have been through worse - power out for days, weeks, even months and you're sitting here complaining about u