Monday, March 02, 2009

Oh, the Humanity!

What happens to us when we hear “snow storm” that makes us automatically run to a grocery store and stock up for a nuclear holocaust?   There was gridlock in aisle five. These idiots were rubbernecking because there was a sale on olive oil, so everyone at the same time parked their carts accordingly in one spot, taking up the entire space available to pass them.

“Scu-scu-scu-ESCUSE ME...” I said, emphasizing the last part because there is  apparently nothing else in the world was more important than extra virgin olive oil on sale. Needless to say, I made my way over to the good stuff: turkey bacon, eggs, dairy, smoked salmon - all the things that breakfast should be.  I wanted to be snowed in with my sweetie giving her the best brunch she could possibly have. We try to be health conscious, so we replace the bacon with turkey bacon, which is only 35 calories and no trans fat. We use only one real egg to make it appear yellow, plus we pour the rest with egg whites so it doesn't contain all the cholesterol. The only “bad” thing on our plate was the bagel. Cream cheese, nonfat, and hash browns made with the lightest ingredients and fresh vegetables. Yes, it was probably a huge caloric intake, but very low in cholesterol.  And I swear to you it tastes exactly like the “real deal”.

After our two hour breakfast and rolling ourselves into the living room with our coffee to talk and read the Sunday paper together, I jokingly said to her, “You know, you’re going to be starving in a few hours - watch.” She thought I was crazy and said, “After a breakfast like that? Are you kidding?” I explained to her that when you eat a huge plate like that, your stomach expands, fooling you into believing that you’re hungry again.    And, she was... and then of course, I was. We grazed all fricken day. I went to sleep with a slight stomach ache and popped a few Tums.

I’m detoxing my body today. I have a food hangover. What is it about winter that kicks in our instinctual need to consume more because it’s colder outside? Do we think we’ll never make it out of a two inch snow storm or is it embedded deep within our primitive nature to consume everything before us to survive? By spring thaw, we’re all starving ourselves and running around our neighborhood trying to shed the pounds we packed on during the winter season. Yet, you'll never see a raging crowd in your local grocery store when there’s a summer thunder storm brewing.

It’s a vicious cycle, but so worth it!


Grant said...

Around here, the threat of snow sends people to the store to buy out all of the milk, bread, and toilet paper. I don't know why those three things are important. Milk sandwiches must give you the trots.

Anonymous said...

Deb: This was a really interesting post and I enjoyed it. I liked reading about the big breakfast and having to dodge olive oil shoppers for the more serious pre-snowstorm stocking up.

Maybe if you ate a few more eggs you wouldn't have to graze all day and could have avoided the food hangover. I generally eat eggs on Saturday and/or Sunday.

I really liked the new term "food hangover". Fortunately I don't have one today.


Deb said...

Grant: I just spit up my coffee reading your comment! That was funny!

Kevin: You're right about the eggs - if I eat real eggs, I don't get hungry later, however I already had my 3 egg limit this week, so I had to do the egg white thang. :)

There's "food hangover" and also, "food coma"---like how we feel after a huge Thanksgiving dinner.


Jess said...

I sure do love food in the winter! Something about that big bowl of chili or some grits. Ohhh the yummy!!!

Enemy of the Republic said...

This is what drives me nuts about Philly. Every snowstorm is like a nuclear holocaust to them. The Chicagoan in me wants to wring their necks! I so understand this post!

Lisa said...

I've been working really hard to eat healthy mini-meals for the past few weeks.

Well, I took Sunday off because I was dying for a big nasty burger from Wendy's (yes, I know it's awful for you). And you're right.. your stomach SURE DOES SHRINK! About five bites in, I couldn't handle anymore. Although I did eat the bacon off the burger.. no sense in wasting good bacon. :-)

Lisa said...

and by the way, the same thing happens around here.. we *NEVER* get snow, but if the powers-that-be even mention the possibility of it, people swamp Walmart and the grocery stores. Eggs, bread, and milk. The whole city shuts down if we get a quarter-inch (which, as I said, *NEVER* happens!). It's ridiculous, lol.

Anonymous said...

Deb: Food coma after Thanksgiving is a good one!

I'm still waiting for my stomach and appetite to shrink. It's never happened for me. I've always had a good appetite and have to watch carefully what I eat.


SJ said...

I wonder often why people crowd at all in the first place. It's not as if we are living in times of famine or the times when a storm would cut us off from civilization for days. Could be our instincts as you say!

the walking man said...

Overfull stomach? Bring on the beans! "Roll that beautiful bean footage!"...but only if when you were stockpiling food for the weather disaster, you also stockpiled toilet tissue.

Just_because_today said...

I know, Kevin. I've watched you at "Celebrate Life"

Deb said...

Jess: Such a southern gal! I never had grits before, but I do have a love for chili now.

Enemy: Right? Even if it’s a ‘chance of snow’, they’re all fleeing for the markets. Unreal.

Lisa: Oh nothing wrong with treating yourself every once in a while! It’s funny when you start eating less or on a diet and you indulge one day - your stomach is like, “WHAAAT?” See, I have to ease into it because if I don’t and I grab something large when I’ve been eating sprigs all week, I tend to get really sick. And re: the weather - I seriously think it’s all about ratings for the news teams + try to get people out to spend more. If the economy is bad, then there is a HUGE STORM ON ITS WAY! Believe me, it gets people out there regardless if they’ve been fooled 100 times before.

Kevin: Well, you’re so active as it is! You’re like that swimmer Phelps - have you ever seen his breakfasts? You can afford it. And... I hate you for it. (Just kidding!) But you have two things going for you: you’re a man; higher metabolism and you’re a runner.

SJ: If you really think about it, we still do things very similar (kinda/sorta) as they did back in the olden days. I mean, look at how we are in October first of all. The “harvest season”. So, we grab all our squashes, pumpkins and how many fricken apples do we all consume, or apple based products during that season? We’re stocking up for the brutal winter. Don’t be surprised if you see me with a big silo in my backyard next October, or wait, err, parking lot. (I don’t have a yard.)

Just_because_today: You be nice to him!!! Is he going to be there on Sunday too?

Anonymous said...

Deb: I'm looking forward to running the Celebrate Life 1/2 in Rock Hill on Sunday, seeing Just_Because_Today and hopefully wearing bib #13.

We are hoping the weather cooperates. Those of us that have a 2 hour drive will be leaving early in the morning since we lose an hour on Sunday morning.


Deb said...

Kevin: I might be there cheering you guys on if I make it out of the city on time. Good luck!!!