Monday, March 02, 2009

Oh, the Humanity!

What happens to us when we hear “snow storm” that makes us automatically run to a grocery store and stock up for a nuclear holocaust?   There was gridlock in aisle five. These idiots were rubbernecking because there was a sale on olive oil, so everyone at the same time parked their carts accordingly in one spot, taking up the entire space available to pass them.

“Scu-scu-scu-ESCUSE ME...” I said, emphasizing the last part because there is  apparently nothing else in the world was more important than extra virgin olive oil on sale. Needless to say, I made my way over to the good stuff: turkey bacon, eggs, dairy, smoked salmon - all the things that breakfast should be.  I wanted to be snowed in with my sweetie giving her the best brunch she could possibly have. We try to be health conscious, so we replace the bacon with turkey bacon, which is only 35 calories and no trans fat. We use only one real egg to make it appear yellow, plus we pour the rest with egg whites so it doesn't contain all the cholesterol. The only “bad” thing on our plate was the bagel. Cream cheese, nonfat, and hash browns made with the lightest ingredients and fresh vegetables. Yes, it was probably a huge caloric intake, but very low in cholesterol.  And I swear to you it tastes exactly like the “real deal”.

After our two hour breakfast and rolling ourselves into the living room with our coffee to talk and read the Sunday paper together, I jokingly said to her, “You know, you’re going to be starving in a few hours - watch.” She thought I was crazy and said, “After a breakfast like that? Are you kidding?” I explained to her that when you eat a huge plate like that, your stomach expands, fooling you into believing that you’re hungry again.    And, she was... and then of course, I was. We grazed all fricken day. I went to sleep with a slight stomach ache and popped a few Tums.

I’m detoxing my body today. I have a food hangover. What is it about winter that kicks in our instinctual need to consume more because it’s colder outside? Do we think we’ll never make it out of a two inch snow storm or is it embedded deep within our primitive nature to consume everything before us to survive? By spring thaw, we’re all starving ourselves and running around our neighborhood trying to shed the pounds we packed on during the winter season. Yet, you'll never see a raging crowd in your local grocery store when there’s a summer thunder storm brewing.

It’s a vicious cycle, but so worth it!