Friday, October 20, 2006

To Lisa...A True Friend

Late nights staying up talking on the phone, you always had this talent to put my heart at ease. You anticipated the worst, not expecting me to laugh, but you somehow put that smile back on my face—making me giggle. Your clichés were endless. I used to call you on them, telling you, “STOP ALREADY!!!” But, I honestly loved every single corny cliché that came out of your mouth. It made me laugh, and it also made sense to every situation we were going through.

You always sensed when I was down. You would come over with a handful of gifts. The thoughtfulness was overwhelming. Did I even deserve this? You brought me over a bottle of wine or a bouquet of Heinekens. How adorable was that? I never knew they made bouquets of beer! You knew I loved truffles. You made sure I had my stock of them. Cards, poems and little sentimental trinkets are still saved. The crystal owl still sits on my dresser. You knew that I had an obsession with owls and went out of your way to get that for me.

Countless nights at our favorite restaurant talking for hours over goblets of wine and delicious pasta, are my favorite memories. Summers spent at my house playing horseshoes, drinking beer, playing badminton and then going off to swim in my pool were so much fun. We would then throw a porterhouse on the barbeque and hang out till the wee hours of the night drinking my mocha espressos. You never liked black coffee before, until you met me. I don’t even think you liked coffee---period---until you met me.

I’ll never forget the time I took you out to the Irish pub down the street. You weren’t the type to mingle in a crowded room full of smiling eyes and cowboy hats. It was karaoke night, and Jeff, the karaoke leader saw his new prey---you. I could tell you were nervous, sitting at the sticky bar in your beautiful expensive outfit, trying to not look anyone in the eye. I introduced you to black & tan beer. We had to mingle with the natives. After a few brews, you let your hair down and we continued to make that a regular pit stop. We used to go with a dozen other girls and stay there till closing. They literally had to kick all of us out. Finally, you were up there with the rest of them—singing your heart out! “Love Will Keep Us Together” will always echo through my mind, remembering how many beers it took you to get up there and sing it.

Vacationing with you was like no other experience I have ever had. I think I broke a few ribs from laughing so hard! Our trip to Provincetown, MA was hysterical. All the women kept giving you their phone numbers. You would meet Madelene and me at the café in the morning to have breakfast with us. We would be sitting outside enjoying our smoked salmon on a bagel, waiting for you as we watched tons of people walk by. You would walk through the crowd in your Tom Cruise sunglasses, trying to be incognito—to hide yourself from that ‘bandana girl’ who was stalking you the entire time. She was there, watching you as you whizzed by quickly, sitting down, placing the menu in front of your face. She wasn’t stupid.

A few nights, we found ourselves dancing away in a crowd full of mullets and flannel shirts. We were the only ones dressed up. They gave us a green glow stick to indicate that we were single. My girlfriend watched, as I grabbed one—just so I could have fun and play single for one night. She laughed, and thought it was funny too. I wore them, because I hooked the glow sticks all over my jean hooks, my wrists and back pockets. I was glowing like a nuclear disaster! After hours of dancing, we walked back to our bed and breakfast. The two roads we had to walk weren’t long…but that night, we somehow made it seem we were walking for miles, laughing so hard that we had to stop and sit on each bench. At one point, you laughed so hard, you developed an anxiety attack. I had to pull you over into that little shop’s walkway to calm you down. I massaged your shoulders and it seemed to put you at ease.

When I was going through a rough break up, you came over and stayed with me. I cried to you, as you just sat there holding me, trying to comfort me. It worked. Not too long after that, you brought me to the hospital because I was having heart palpitations—which I thought was a heart attack. You drove from another state, to pick me up and bring me to the emergency room. I’ll never forget how you dropped everything for me. Thank you. If it weren’t for you, I’d be dead right now. I was in a bad state of mind, and you always, always made sure I was okay. I love you for that!

We wrote songs together. You sang, as I played guitar. Our youth was in full swing when we were hanging out. You helped me edit my book, correcting me of any typos or weird phrased sentences. I’m still not perfect, but you’ve helped me come a long way with my writing. Thank you.

As time went on, we both got serious in our relationships. It seemed as though our visits and phone calls were getting less and less. Our emails were still frequent, but the personal contact and visits were almost next to zero. It happens. I’m sorry I gave you a hard time about not hanging out as much, but I missed my best friend. I missed the only girl who made me laugh till I had an asthma attack. I missed the person who knew me…inside and out. How did you know me so well? You knew me better than some of my own blood!

Right now, I’m happy that we’re talking more and visiting one another more. We both have terrific significant others who enhance our friendship as well. The more the merrier! I want you to be happy, Lisa. You deserve only that. You’re a special woman with so many positive qualities. Anyone can see that. You give 110%. You never do anything half-assed and you never expect anything back in return.

I just wanted to write this letter publicly to you, so that you know, and everyone out there knows, what a wonderful, caring person you are. Remember what we used to say?

“You’re a ‘lifer’.”

You gave me a book called, “Proverbs For Life—For You”. Inside the book, you wrote:

“To my very dear friend & “personal champion”,

Whenever you have a trying day, try some of these. Never lose hold of your amazing spirit.


In the book are wonderful little proverbs and sayings to help you through whatever you’re challenged with. I still have this book, and still read it—whenever I’m faced with problems.

One of the proverbs that remind me of you is this one:

“It is better to have one true friend than all the acquaintances in the world.” ~Author unknown

You Lisa, are a true friend!


Dr. Deborah Serani said...

What a lovely tribute!

Anonymous said...

What a great friend...the only thing that could top this would be sharing a Swanson dinner together.

(Or did you leave that part out?)

normiekins said...

what a beautiful tribute....Lisa sounds like an amazing woman...friends are so rare Deb...when you find one....keep them in your life forever.....beautiful memories to keep.

GW Mush said...

Lisa sounds awesome!

sodijety said...

Through it all I have one true and great friend. Well I have had many, but they all complain of how I never open myself. How I never call or right. How I never leave my cave. But this one friend, has been there for many many years, and she deserves a tribute, 'cause I think I have never told her how much I love her.

The Rev. Dr. Kate said...

I am so glad you have a friend like this! We all need someone who knows our history, can encourage us to grow and loves us not in spite of ourselves, but because of ourselves.
Blessings to all the friends out there!

samuru999 said...

That is such a beautiful letter to touching!
Thanks for sharing it here!
You and Lisa are blessed to have
such a wonderful friendship!

There is nothing like true friendship!!!

Video X said...

that is just something that is very hard to find!

sasha said...

Friends like this are awesome. It is great that you are reconnecting!

Cinderella said...

What an outstanding tribute to a dear friend. It is great that you tell the people you love how you feel about them, that is a precious gift to yourself and the ones you love.

This was wonderful, true friendship is a gift and a blessing.

Catch said...

Thats beautiful Deb. I have a friend like that, we have been through thick and thin, and always have managed to find something to laugh about. She was Maid of Honor in my wedding. She was just here visiting with me for 4 days this past summer. We are as goofy as we always were when we get together. It is a true gift to have a friend like this. When we are together we are 58 year old teenagers! lol. Have a great weekend Deb!

nosthegametoo said...

Such beautiful sentiment toward your friend.

After reading that, I think I should call my best friend and see how he's doing.

You always have such wonderfully uplifting messages.

Peace and Love

Russ said...

Awesome post, Deb! We should all have a friendship that special.

Maddie said...

That is so true, Deb, Lisa is a tried and true friend. She is soo funny and she gave me the giggles like crazy. I still have the "winner" double shot glass she gave me from the goodie bag she brought over for you. Good times, indeed! To have a good friend, you have to be a good friend and that is definately what you are. Naturally.

kathi said...

Lisa is a very blessed woman to have a friend who appreciates her so much. Both blessed.

Zanne said...

What a beautiful tribute Deb! I'm glad you've been so gifted with such a friend! :D

GW Mush said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
GW Mush said...

Feelings, whoa whoa whoa feelings ::: wiping tear from eye:::: :)

C said...

that's a great tribute.

QUASAR9 said...

Deb, Have a great weekend!

J R Estelle said...

And a true friend is the best kind.

LisaBinDaCity said...

Absolutely beautiful, Deb.

Very inspiring.

DaBich said...

A friendship this special is rare...hold onto it with both hands!
God Bless.

Tai said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Tai said...

They say the luckiest people are those that have found that kind of friendship.

I'm glad that you and Lisa share that...I have a small collection of the same and everyday I think about how damn lucky I am.