Walking In a Liquor Wonderland

In the land, my family’s drinking
A beautiful sound, we’re happy & loud
Walking in an liquor wonderland
Gone away, went my sanity
Here to stay is calamity
I sang a love song
The vodka was strong
Walking in a liquor wonderland
In the meadow we can make a gimlet
And pretend that he is Bobby Brown
He’ll say: Are you married?
We’ll say: No man.
Then you can do my wife while you’re in town
Later on, we’ll perspire
Drunk and nude, by the fire
To face the unafraid
Turning the lights on is brave
Walking in a liquor wonderland
In the meadow we can make a cocktail
And pretend that we are circus clowns
We’ll have lots of fun with mister snowman
Until the batteries start wearing down
When it snows
Ain’t it thrilling?
Another drink, and I’m willing
To frolic and play
The S&M way
Walking in a liquor wonderland
Walking in a liquor wonderland
Walking in a liquor wonderland
~By Deb
Lovely, isn’t it? I think it’s the first song lyrics that I wrote on my own for this blog. Talent isn’t my strongpoint, so you’ll have to excuse me.

The funny thing is, when she asks me, “What should I bring over?” I usually say—“Oh nothing,

It was an interesting evening to say the least. Each person that walked through the door requested a drink immediately. Of course, I was initiated ‘bartender’ for the night.
“Oh, Deb’s a bartender anyway--she makes the best drinks, tell her what you want.” It’s like fricken reverse psychology they pull on me. You know when someone says, “Oh but you’re so good at it! Why don’t you do it?” You know there are selfish motives behind that statement.
Drinks were pouring freely. A lady that happened to walk in requested a dry vodka martini—straight up. Fine. She would not eat dinner until she had two martinis. Perfect gathering for an AA meeting. They were all getting prepared. For what? The kids to arrive. All the kids came through hoping to see Santa with margarita in hand. After a few hours of sad faces on the children, I told them to go upstairs, because the elf brought them a few presents they could open up. (The elf being me of course--shush!)
Only two came with me. They climbed up the stairs like little munchkins and went into my living room.
“Wow! Look at the presents under the tree!”
I handed each of them two presents each. They were excited, and I knew it was something that they wanted. I handed my niece her dinosaur she’s been asking for. Then she opened up her light sabers from Star Wars. She looked up at me with an angry stare, and said, “Where’s the mask to these???” An unhappy customer.
As my nephew opened up his Thomas train tracks along with a little train wash I got for him, he immediately said, “Thank you Debbie, oh thank you so much Debbie!” As he kept digging deeper into the box, he turned around and said, “But Debbie, where’s the train and the stand to it all?” (Which his mom has under her tree at home.)
Another unhappy customer.

“Do you think it’s too big? How do you work this? Look at all the knobs! Is this going to be too complicated? Why does it have a ticking sound while it’s toasting?”
Another unhappy customer.

“Oh wow. You didn’t have to get me something so expensive. This is nice.”
He stares at it. He opens it up. He starts trying it out--to only have it spit coffee in his face due

“Ya not gonna like dis’Rose!” My father yells out from in the kitchen. He didn’t think I could hear him…but I did. Needless to say, another unhappy customer.
It’s now sitting on my desk in my office. A little Christmas gift to myself.

When has Christmas become such a greedy holiday? If someone got me a present that I wasn’t too crazy about, I would say ‘thank you very much’, and not make such a fuss over it. I wish Christmas was like Thanksgiving. You spend time with loved ones, eat, drink and just enjoy one another’s company. No, it has become such a stressful, greedy, 'I want I want’ holiday that you need gallons of wine and liquor in order to stay sane.
My little niece walked over to me and gave me a present.
“Here Debbie, this is for you!” She says, as she hands me this big box in a bag. She waited until I opened it, and to my surprise, it was the best gift of all.

After Christmas was winding down, I found myself in the grips of a major anxiety attack last Sunday evening. It was so bad, that I had to take two ativans to relieve it. That didn’t even work. I had to do it the way my family does it----I guzzled down a few beers along with it, and I went to bed.
Now that the holidays are ‘almost over’, I’m calming down a tad. New Year’s Eve is always a fun thing, because you don’t have to get anything other than champagne and a lot of booze.
Ugh. I need a drink.