Shut your overhead light, lock your cabinets, and don’t forget to have your “I’m on vacation” automated email response ready when you run like a bat out of hell from your job. It’s vacation time. You have anticipated this vacation all year, this is your time to relax, and do whatever it is you want. You and your partner have picked a beautiful place to stay, you dream of the sites, the dining ventures and of course the daily activities.

If this is your first trip with your partner, this can either make, or break the relationship. Vacations are tricky. A lot of things can go wrong. I remember when I first started dating Madelene, we planned our very first trip to Provincetown, MA. I booked us a room at this really nice bed and breakfast. Online, this place looked magnificent! We were all excited and ready to go. As we pulled up to the B&B, there was hardly any parking---due to the lack of driveway they had. We practically parked the car on the owner’s flowerbed! We walked in at first to sign in. The place was cute, quaint, but definitely not what I saw on the internet virtual tour. They made it out to be some lavish and fancy B&B-- not only that, they made it out to be this huge mansion type of place. Misleading.

“You’ll be staying at the ‘Mia Angelou’ room.” The keeper said, as she handed us the key.
“Great…they themed this with poetry… how lovely.” I mumbled sarcastically and just chuckled. We start unloading the truck, and headed for our room. Jiggling the key each and every way to get this damn door open, it finally comes ajar. The room was dark still, so I felt for a light. Before I could even turn a light on, I tripped over the bed.
“What the @*&%????” I was furious that the room was smaller than a box of tissues.
“This is NOT what they displayed online, let me tell you!” I ranted, as I made my way to the bathroom.
“Look! The fricken bathroom is larger than the bedroom! That’s ridiculous.” On and on I kept on bitching like a big baby.
“Oh, well I think it’s charming.” Madelene replies, content in her settings.
“Well, we better me out a lot, or this is just not going to work. I can’t believe we paid so much for this dump!”
“Deb, they have a personalized hot tub for each room outside the courtyard.”
Madelene says, to try and relieve my anger at this point.

To me, my ‘base’ of where I am staying has to be nicer than anything that the town has to offer. I want my vacation home—if you will---to exceed my expectations of anything that this whole vacation can offer me. Madelene on the other hand is content anywhere, as long as we go out and do a lot of activities and have fun. Fine. Let’s have fun. What about when you get home? I felt icky and I didn’t want to be in that small room- I was getting claustrophobic.

Needless to say, the whole vacation was bickering over this awful room. We even saw a receipt for whips and chains and other ‘interesting’ devices that some other couple had purchased in the dresser drawer while staying in the ~Mia Angelou~ room. Ew. Better believe I checked the sheets and bedding for anything other than clean bleached sheets that smelled like daisies. That alone, made me think even more. Luckily this town was full of a lot of things to do, art galleries, museums, all different types of restaurants, different events and the beach. It was the 4th of July, so anywhere you went, had a party—but now it was a matter of going back to your room, which I dreaded.

Now I reserve a suite, one year in advanced at this huge Inn that we love very much. This place has its own bistro, a spa where you can get your hair done, get a manicure or pedicure, sit in their hot tubs, (instead of the one they provide you with in your room) and they even have a cocktail lounge now. The suite is large, has its own kitchen, dining room, living room, and a separate bedroom—plus they have dry cleaning right on the premises… I can just stay at the place the whole day if I wanted to. They serve gourmet breakfasts, whether you want it taken to your suite, or just eat it out on the enclosed patio dining room with the other guests. This place is amazing; in fact, I want to even suggest it to you all if you ever decide to go to Provincetown. * * * * *

A while back, when Madelene and I were having a few problems, we decided to still go on vacation in Montauk, where we stay each year in May. Again, I thought, this will either make or break our relationship. Surprisingly enough, the alone time at the beach house was what we needed. We ended up having the best time, because we were out of our elements, and there was no one to disturb us, no phones ringing, no work that needed tending to, just her and I enjoying the ocean. It was extremely theraputic for both of us, and enchanced our relationship that much more.

Tip: Throw away your damn cell phones, do not check messages, do not check e-mail and never, ever call your job to check what’s going on.

A vacation means, “to get away”. It does not entail going to a place that will cause you stress or cause anxiety. You are supposed to enjoy your time away, as well as your time together, and not worry about any of your surroundings. If your surroundings are something to be of concern with, then it’s just not going to be a vacation for you. In fact, you may just end up single after it- who knows... A vacation is a crucial part of your health—no matter where it is, however, make sure that you are completely away from whatever it is that stresses you out the most.

Bon Voyage!