“Finish your dinner, you hardly touched a thing!”
“I did, they just gave me a lot…”
“I saw what you ate, and it was practically nothing Deb.”
“Lisa, I ate, I am full, and I had an appetizer before this and a salad.” I reply, frustrated over the fact she cannot understand that the portion I had was a bit too much.
“Well bring it home.” Lisa suggests.
“I don’t want to leave that crap in my car if we’re going out, plus it’s all out outside, I’ll get some funky disease from eating old, ~left out in the heat~ chicken.”
“Can we wrap these up and take them home?” Lisa asks the waitress.
Now this crap is going to be lying in my car fermenting, smelling like a damn chicken coupe! I hate when people leave food in my car, because it totally engulfs the entire airspace.
Okay. Fine. Discussion over with, the food was in the back seat of my car, and we were off to go meet with friends at a bar nearby.
“Deb, We’re driving in circles.”
“No Lisa, we’re not, it’s just that everything looks the same to you since you live in a city.”
“Deb, we passed this a few minutes ago, we’re definitely driving around in a circle.” Lisa insists.
“Lisa, I’ve been living here all my life, we are not driving in circles.”
The bickering continues...
Lisa and I are like an old married, bickering couple. Even when we are walking around in the park, our hands are up in the air—indicating that there is some sort of argument taking place. You pass us by, and all you hear is, “No! No! No! That’s not so!” Don’t get me wrong, Lisa is a wonderful person and we have tons of fun together, but it’s hysterical how we disagree on everything, and anything.
“Liquor before beer makes you sicker?” Lisa asks.
“No…liquor before beer, never fear, beer before liquor makes you sicker. Most of all, just don’t mix…that’ll get you sick more than anything.” I reply.
“No, no, no, it’s the other way around—that’s not true.” She insists, sipping her gin and tonic.
“Okay!” I say, giving up and throwing my hands up in the air.
After her vodka drink, her gin and tonic, and her beer…I was ready to experience the hangover remedy.
(Refer to Hangover Blues in archive)
The morning after.
“Here take this.” I tell Lisa, as she is hunched over my couch with a thumping headache. I give her a glass of water, a banana, Gatorade and 1,000 mg of vitamin C. In fifteen minutes, I’ll give you the Motrin if this doesn’t help.
“Deb, ugh, my head, I feel sick.”
“Well, liquor before beer should have been the rule here.” I say, chuckling under my breath. I was very happy to see that I wasn’t the one who was wrong in this case, or I would have been the big lump on my couch, grunting and moaning over a headache.
Three hours pass. The headache is still a’thumpin’…
“Here.” I hand her a nice big goblet of a bloody mary, lemon wedge on the side, with a big celery stalk sticking out. Who couldn’t resist this beautiful drink? It was a work of art. She drank it slowly thinking it would make her sick again. I can actually see the improvement of her posture as she kept sipping the cocktail.
“This is good!” Lisa says with her eyes now opened a little wider.
“I know. Now say, Debbie you were right all along!” I tell her, acting all cocky now...
It was at that point, she had given me the ol’ Italian evil eye. I shut my mouth for the rest of that morning.
My beautiful friend loves to argue and bicker with me, but as much as we disagree on many things, I love my Lisa very much. We’re close enough to withstand any disagreements, but close enough to know that ‘it’s just that’, and nothing else. I don’t think I’d have her any other way, because then, who would I have these arguments with? They’re fun, it’s challenging to see who’s right, and who’s wrong, and most of all, it’s even more fun to laugh at when it’s over...
I'm glad we crossed each other's pass and hope to have you in my life, always Lisa!
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