Sometimes you never truly know what measures you'll go to until you have severe chronic pain that lasts for over a week or more. I'm only on week two with excruciating back pain and I. have. had. it. I had two good days, meaning, I could walk around and make a drink. That's it. I forget about all the "abilities" I have, now focusing in on all my "disabilities" that I've come across. The rheumatologist wanted to give me a prescription strength of Aleve, because he said that the Toradol and Advil I was taking could possibly give me a heart attack. Great. I spent hours Googling that one. I just thought stomach upset and that was that. Another 'fear' to jot down on my list. Then I found out the prescription he gave me was even more harmful to my heart. So now, I'm freaking out over the heart attack meds, and wanted something a bit more natural. I was reintroduced with 'medicinal' cannabis. Back then it was more recreational - well, maybe it was more of anxiety provoking paranoia type of thing with me, but today as an adult, it took away every single pain in every area of my being. Two tokes and a glass of wine - that's it. The relief it gave me not only helped with my pain, but it helped my mood, my anxiety and it let me sleep for eight hours straight through ever since I've been taking it. I don't worry or obsess about little things anymore. I'm quite tolerable now --- meaning, Madelene finds me tolerable to be around. So, it has helped our relationship a great deal. We're laughing more, relaxing more and not making a big fuss over this and that. I haven't bought any tied dyed shirts or bandanas yet, but I tell ya -- now I know why they want to make this stuff legalized in every state. It's not only natural, but it has no harmful side effects, while Advil and other "larger" narcotic drugs they freely toss at you are killing people every single day. I remember a friend of mine always suggesting this pain reliever, and I just laughed and thought they just wanted an excuse to get high. I remember how it helped my dad when he was in his beginning stages of cancer. Instead of using the oxycontin, I gave him two small homemade pot muffins that my friend had personally baked for him. He started joking around and then singing old country songs. When I asked, "Hey Dad, how's your pain now?" He chuckled and said, "What pain? I had pain?" But, the stigma of illegal marijuana loomed over my mom's head a bit, and with good reason. I totally understood and didn't push it. I'm not making this a habit, I'm treating it just as I would with any other type of pain medicine.
"Why is she screaming so much??"
So the doctor diagnosed me with "herniated disc syndrome". I'm seeing a physical therapist as suggested and I'm also going about my own ways and seeing my chiropractor that they of course are against. Mom suggested I use a cane. It's either that or a Hoveround. (Mine would be a lot cooler of course.) I'm ruling all psychosomatic symptoms out because this is one helluva' ride I'm on these days. I can barely walk down the stairs, get out of bed or even take my little dog for a walk because that requires getting down to the ground to leash that little beast. But I have that dog never leaves my side when I'm at my worst pain. Frightened, yes, but she doesn't leave me for one second. I can wash dishes, clean the counters but I can't make the bed which is torturing my soul. I always - always - always make my bed or I feel out of sorts. I'm hoping my wife reads that last sentence. But for real - she has been such a great help, even helping me get into the shower, walking me down the stairs, making me breakfast on her days off, walking the dog and being such great company. I may have more to bitch about this week, but if I'm slacking on the blog posts, please forgive me. For now, I'm just going to rely on two tokes and a glass of wine. Cheers.
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