Saturday, August 11, 2012

What Do You Believe?

And yes, this is a real photo of my brain...

Not sure what to make of this, but I'm questioning my dreams lately. Sometimes they make sense, and other times, they just sort of linger into this fog of curiosity. There are many people who say they can interpret dreams and I even went to a psychologist who currently still does "dream therapy" - where she could analyze your subconsciousness by what you dreamt about. It's an amazing technique so I hear, but I never wanted to go that route because I'm not 100% convinced that dreams are our subconsciousness telling us messages about ourselves, or if it's our brain going haywire for a few hours just because it's on "down time".  Have you ever dreamt of something so awful that you didn't even want to repeat it?  You try and figure it all out, but nothing ever comes of it. Meaningless really. Or is it? What about dreaming about lost loved ones who have crossed over ~to the other side~ or dreams that are supposedly "intuitive" that'll save your life. Should we listen to every single dream that warns us about something or chuck it up to our tired lil' noggin?

Let me explain why I'm writing this post... Last night I saw Dad in my dreams. Maybe it was because I posted about Dad yesterday, or just had him on my mind lately. Strange, because I prayed for him to visit me in my dreams yesterday. If you had read my post from yesterday, as I was typing the part talking about being by the ocean with him, I actually heard the waves crashing. It was so real and so strange... Some people believe that you should pray or ask your loved one to wake you up after they visit you.  Well, I tried it. It finally worked. In my dream, I found myself in my Dad's 'man cave' with my dog. There he was, sitting in his chair with dark brown hair, a dark blue shirt and his work jeans smoking a cigarette. He said, "Ha, look! That dog's getting big!" I had Lola on a leash and said, "Yeah, she gained a few pounds," not realizing it was a visit - actually thinking it was an everyday normal occurrence that Dad was hanging around. Then, right in the midst of my dream, it hit me - Dad! Oh, wait! ---He looked at me and knew my 'subconscious' had awoken. I said, "Hiiiiiii!!!!!!!!!!" --Waving at him like a big ol' fool. He started laughing, nodding his head like, "Yep, this is a visit kid," and went on to consume the last drag of his cigarette. Then I woke up. I wasn't disturbed by it, nor was I overly emotional about it. It felt like the norm. It felt like another day with Dad -- nothing more, nothing less. Just Dad. The only thing different was that he had dark brown hair instead of his silver hair. Either that's how I wanted to remember him or he got his hair color from a box up in heaven.

Even when my grandmother passed away, she had come to me in my dreams a few times. Once right before her death. She was in a nursing home, not able to communicate or function any longer. Madelene and I were going to visit her on a particular Saturday, on January 21rst. That Friday night, I dreamt my grandma came to me yelling (as she usually did) saying, "Don't you dare come up here and see me like this! I won't have it!" Typical her. And typical me said, "Tough. I'm still going to visit."  The next day, my mother called me and said, "Deb? Grandma died early this morning."  Coincidence?  At her funeral, she wasn't 50 lbs with white hair. She was the voluptuous redhead that I remembered her as. Strange how they can manipulate someone to look a certain way. Creepy as it is, it was also comforting. Months after her passing, she came to me in a dream. She said, "I have a family secret to tell you."  So I sat down on the couch next to her's and said, "What? What?" She started to talk, and while she was talking, her voice went lower, and lower, and lower, until she was completely muted - but still talking. She didn't even look as though she knew I couldn't hear her - she kept on talking as if the volume was off. It was so frustrating. My mother keeps asking me to "think harder". Kind of funny, but impossible to do because you really can't bring back a dream. Or was it a dream?

When my wife's father passed away, it was very traumatic because not only was it so sudden, but he was only in his mid-fifties. I clearly remember having a very vivid dream about him. He came to me near a picket fence. (Not sure what that means.)  He held my hand and my arm with his other hand and said, "Don't worry. I'm going to take care of you two. Just let her know that." (Her being Madelene I'm presuming.) I'm not sure why he said this or what the real meaning behind it was, but in the dream after he said it, I was asking him questions which I can't remember, and he said, "I gotta go now," as I kept holding his arm now. I said, "No, wait! Don't go just yet," but he kept insisting, as if someone was calling him. He squeezed my arm and slipped right out of my grip right up into a foggy light.  I just watched and *poof* - woke up instantly. The dream was embedded in my brain for the rest of the morning. While having coffee with Madelene, I wasn't quite sure she was ready to hear my dream or even wanted to. It was still so very 'raw'. Then she started talking about him, and I decided to share my dream with her. It comforted her more than anything, which was what I was hoping for.

For years, I've always been able to hear and see ghosts. Sounds crazy, right? But as bizarre as that sounds, I'm so grateful that Madelene was with me to experience a few of my encounters. One, being an old lady who used to live in my parents' house. We were both lying on the hammock, when "she" appeared looking out at us through the screen door. I didn't say a word. Then, Madelene said, "Who was that??" In my mind I kept saying, "YES! I'm not THAT crazy!" Another time she witnessed it with me was when I kept getting visits from an old friend who died so tragically. I was getting so many visits from him that I said out of frustrations, "Why can't you just appear in normal form!!??" And all of the sudden, this huge, bright blueish and yellow orb flew into the living room, bounced off the floor and went straight up into the corner of where the ceiling meets the wall.  Again, I didn't say a word. Madelene said, "Did you see that??" And again, in my mind I said, "YES! I'm not THAT crazy!" Another time taking a mini vacation up at this bed & breakfast, we were trying to go to sleep, but my pillow was whispering. I raised my head to see if anyone else was in the hallway talking - but they were whispers. The only light illuminating the room was from a fake candle in the window, but it was still dark. I put my head back onto the pillow and heard the whispers once again. I noticed Madelene grabbing her glasses from the nightstand very slowly, and placing them on her face....in. the. dark. It was then I knew I wasn't the only one with the 'active pillow'. I even put my ear to the wall, to the floor, to the nightstand  --- nothing. The pillow? Tons of whispers. We left so quickly the next morning that the owners didn't charge us for the rest of our stay. They said, "We know...We've had many people flee from here. It was owned by the mafia years ago and there were tragic 'incidents' that had taken place."  And they were renovating the place big time, which to some believe it's like a field day for spirits.

This morning while talking to Mad about seeing my Dad in my dreams while we were having coffee, she said, "How come I don't see my dad or anyone like you do in your dreams?" I really couldn't answer that. I just assume she's not "opened" enough - or perhaps her fear of someone 'on the other side' pretending to be her loved one consumes her ability to get visits. She has never experienced anything of a supernatural occurrence other than while being with me. Last year while we were pulling tacks up from an old carpet so we could have hard wood floors, she said, "Did you hear that?"  I was on the other side of the room breaking my kneecaps trying to get everything done. I didn't hear a thing. She said a woman started giggling in her ear. "Did you get  sleep last night?" She just sneered at me, as though, oh you can have these experiences and I can't??  But I was just shocked she actually heard something on her own. When we finally moved into the house, while working on an important project I had to get done for work, I heard, "Debbie?"  No one was in the house. I just chucked it up to fatigue. But then again she called, "Debbie?" The voice raised itself, almost questioning why I wasn't answering her. And the only people who call me "Debbie" are those who have known me as a child growing up. Most call me "Deb" - so it baffled me. Not that it's a big deal, but still. I walked around the house, but she stopped calling me. The rest of the day I had such an overwhelming feeling of someone watching me.

I have so many stories about this kind of stuff, but I want to keep the word limit under a million and keep your attention somewhat. But strange how our minds work, or are they our minds? Do you believe that we manifest our own 'spiritual experiences', and do our subconscious minds try and comfort us with an image of our deceased loved one?  Or is it real? Do they really visit us in our dreams? If they do visit us in our dreams, couldn't it be an opportunity for someone to 'pretend' that they're our loved ones? That's something I'm a bit disturbed by. Would love to get your thoughts and maybe share your experiences too.

For more of Deb's articles, please visit: www.debrapasquella.com or join her on Facebook.

9 comments:

the walking man said...

I am going to be brief. I wrote a novel regarding this whole subject.
No writer is all imagination and editing. If you'd like to read it hit my bdd44m5 acct and I will send it to you.

or

the short answer is no you're not a wee bit off kilter. A little nuts maybe but that has nothing to do with this subject.

*NATASHA* said...

check out my new blog post :) http://natashacarrero.blogspot.com/2012/08/font-definitions-font-face-font-family.html

*NATASHA* said...

I believe that paranormal activity all depends on how open one is to those things, also it depends on our relationships to those who have passed away.I believe that we draw them (deceased loved ones) when we think about them. the spirit is an energy source in my eyes and when we create thoughts in our minds, those thought run from electrical pulse that are brain creates, i believe that's how we create these windows or door ways with the deceased.I have had dream with my loved ones that have passed away but I pray that i never see strange things like the experiences you have had it would freak me out.

Deb said...

Sorry for responding so late!

Mark, I never knew you wrote a novel on this. What is a "bdd44m5" account? I would love to read it. Is it available to buy?

Natasha, that definitely makes a lot of sense. I like your views on this because it answers a few questions of my own. You know, I always thought that if I saw something 'manifest' that it would freak me out too, but the peacefulness of it - the calmness - was more intriguing than scary. And maybe I was just lucky to have that "calm experience" instead of a voice telling me to "GET OUT." (lol) Thanks so much for sharing your blog - I enjoyed reading your posts! Thanks for stopping by!

A Plain Observer said...

I do not want to see no ghosts, nope, none. Keep them all over there.
I do believe the spirit remains and it can visit and linger and manifest and not only when a person has crossed over but in our dimension,

A Plain Observer said...

Mark:
What's bdd44m?

Deb said...

You don't want me to push a few over to your place? lol
Ok, seriously, I'm reading that last line. Do you mean when people are still alive, they can visit us, like astral travel? Or did I take that the wrong way? Interesting you said that (or I interpreted it to be) because I was just talking about that this afternoon with someone. Is that what you meant?

And yes, what is bdd44m, Mark?? Bdsm when I first read it. Thought Mark got a little 'whacky' on us for a moment. ;)

Xmichra said...

again, sorry for the late reply :D

I think you have read my experiences with ghosts and dreams. So I'll just assume you have, with the rap up of: yes i think it's normal, and i think it has to do with being in tune with your surroundings and yourself.

I will say though... the dream you had about your father in law: i have no idea what a picket fence really means (but that is always wide open for psycholgical debate anyway), but in my mind it would mean that he was coming to you near an object that normally would be an image for a perfect life, and that it wasn't white (or not specified) would signify to me that he wanted to let you know that he saw nothing less than perfect with your life with Mad, and that he would help protect the integrity of your life because it's worth it.

That's what I would take from that. Just going by the things that I have learned. It was a good dream <3

Deb said...

Strange, because the picket fence wasn't white. It was like a natural basic brown -- not painted or anything. Old even.... Your interpretation brought a tear to my eye for many reasons. One reason is, the first time I saw my FIL, the first image in my head was him walking toward me with arms completely wide open. He welcomed me the most and always made me feel welcomed. Thank you for your comment, X -- meant a lot! And it's nice to see you!