Monday, July 18, 2011

Are You Happy?

A friend of mine found me on Facebook the other day. We were catching up from years gone by. We went to high school together and even worked together for quite some time, but we never hung out or called one another like buddies for some reason. Now, as adults, we find ourselves in similar situations and lifestyles. I had no clue she was gay, and she didn’t know I was either. We both dated guys way back when, so it never occurred that we were both playing for the same team. There was one thing she said while flipping through my virtual photo albums on Facebook. “You really look happy, Deb.” Isn’t it funny how we glare at photos, assuming somebody’s life is ‘this way’, when sometimes, it can actually be a whole different story behind those pixels. Even with celebrities, they show their best faces, smiling, posing for the camera showing you their best side. God forbid a camera should catch me in the midst of a PMSing moment. People would definitely ask, “I wonder if she’s ok? I wonder if Deb’s happy...” A photo shot while I’m frustrated over something regarding work: eyebrows scrunched down to my nose, mood swinging back and forth like a crazy pendulum and of course, the periodic blast of anger when someone asks me the simplest of things. I'm only human.

I don’t need to tell any of you this. Life is what it is. It has its ups and it has its downs. Life has moments, some good, some bad. Just because you see a bunch of photos with someone smiling doesn’t define their meaning of life, but of one particular moment of time that they choose to share with you. The most important thing for me to remember, especially now with my wife and I setting up our new place and trying to get everything done as fast as possible, is enjoying the steps getting there. If you never enjoy the journey getting there, in the end, when you do get what you want, will you then be guaranteed happiness? I call bullshit once I hear someone say, “I’m so happy, never been happier" - all. the. time. (Especially if this is after a breakup or divorce.) I think the key is a "constant joy" - a constant flow of the enjoyment over the little things in life. And when you do reach your destination, you’ll look back on the journey getting there with hopefully no regrets.

"A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery while on a detour.” ~Author unknown

For more of Deb's articles, please visit: www.debrapasquella.com