Monday, September 22, 2008

Are You a Sex Addict?

There are many addictions to choose from, or if you’re lucky, not to choose from. Some are genetic, some are chosen, and others seem to be presented to you in the least expected moments. They can range anywhere from the internet junkie right into hardcore heroin addicts. Studies show that smoking cigarettes are just as addicting as heroin is. A few years back I heard of sexual addictions. I mean, if you’re married—then what defines sexual addiction?

In the good ol’ Wiki-wiki, it says:
“Those who use this term have described sex addicts as people who, possibly out of fear of any truly intimate relationship, repeatedly and compulsively try to connect with others through highly impersonal intimate behaviors: masturbation, empty affairs, frequent visits to prostitutes, voyeurism, and the like. Sex addicts—numbering in the millions, both men and women, young and old, of all races and religions—become mesmerized with the thrill and rush of adrenaline that they can achieve only through their obsessive, highly ritualized patterns of sexual behavior.[3] Sexual addiction, also called sexual compulsion is a form of psychological addiction. Obsession: This is when people cannot help themselves from thinking a particular thought. Sex addicts spend whole days consumed by sexual thoughts. They develop elaborate fantasies, find new ways of obtaining sex and mentally revisit past experiences. Because their minds are so preoccupied by these thoughts, other areas of their lives that they could be thinking about are neglected.”

Years ago while attending a Trinity of Assembly church, they shoved me into the gay ministry. I thought it was just special ‘prayer time’ for those who were homosexuals. I was mistakenly wrong. It was more of an “ex-gay ministry”. They wanted to get the “devil” out of me. They also advised my partner and I to start taking antidepressants so that we would have less of a sex drive. They said we were "sex addicts". See, it was okay to live together, but we must remain celibate. And, at that time I was really confused because I was trying to figure out my faith vs. my orientation. They constantly said it was a sin. Are gay couples only seen as "sex addicts"? What about gay couples who are married with kids? Are they "sex addicts" just because they are in love with someone who happens to be of the same gender?

“Love the sinner, hate the sin.”


Instead of getting caught up in their twisted sermon and the scriptures that were thrown to me to prove that it was a sin, I decided to study them, instead of throwing the bible aside. One lady gave me a few scriptures and said there was no way you could interpret it differently.

"Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination" (Leviticus 18:22). "If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them" (Leviticus 20:13)

Since my partner and I are Christian, we no longer go by the Old Law as the Jewish people go by.

Look at Galatians chapter two verses 17 through 21:

"But what if we seek to be made right with God through faith in Christ and then find out that we are still sinners? Has Christ led us into sin? Of course not! Rather, I make myself guilty if I rebuild the old system I already tore down. For when I tried to keep the law, I realized I could never earn God’s approval. So I died to the law so that I might live for God. I have been crucified with Christ. I myself no longer live, but Christ lives in me. So I live my life in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I am not one for those who treats the grace of God as meaningless. For if we could be saved by keeping the law, then there was no need for Christ to die.

That one sentence says it all: {“For if we could be saved by keeping the law, then there was no need for Christ to die.”}

Then you have this passage:
“You and I are Jews by birth, not ‘sinners’ like the Gentiles. And yet we Jewish Christians know that we become right with God, not by doing what the law commands, but by faith in Jesus Christ. So we have believed in Christ Jesus, that we might be accepted by God because of our faith in Christ-and not because we have obeyed the law. ***For no one will ever be saved by obeying the law.***” ~Galatians 2:15-16

Relying on Jesus’ sacrifice is why love between two people is not wrong. The Old Law no longer binds us.

Then, the ex-gay woman chucked this scripture at me:

“Don’t you know that those who do wrong will have no share in the Kingdom of God? Don’t you fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, who are idol worshipers, adulterers, male prostitutes, homosexuals, thieves, greedy people, drunkards, abusers, and swindlers---none of these will have a share in the Kingdom of God.” Corinthians 6:9-11

They cherry picked that one and left the second part of that scripture out. It finishes off like this:

“There was a time when some of you were just like that, (before Christ), but now your sins have been washed away, and you have been set apart for God. You have been made right with God because of what the Lord Jesus Christ and the Spirit of our God have done for you.”

Because of Jesus’ sacrifice, the whole “being gay is a sin” is no longer. The Old Law does not apply to Christians. To some other people of different religions, it still may apply.

So going back to the whole “sex addiction” theory on homosexuals: these ex gay ministry people tried telling my partner and I that intimacy between the two of us was an addiction and not out of love.

Fifteen years later, I can prove them wrong. I just hope other people aren’t brainwashed by holy rolling bible thumping zealots.

Do you feel that homosexuals are simply sex addicts?