Thursday, December 08, 2005

The Envelope

Patience. I absolutely have none. I never did. Patience. That word irritates me. Needless to say I have no virtue. Patience gives us more character. What kind? The kind that waits, and waits, and then…waits.

When will my time come? God, why isn’t it happening ‘now’? I want things ‘now’, and nothing seems to be progressing in that area.

Then God spoke:

“God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end.” ~Ecclesiastes 3:11

What then, do I have to do in the meantime? Wait. Be patient. Maybe my life is out of control. Maybe my life needs a time to relax, and wait upon whatever it is, to enter my life.

“When the Holy Spirit controls our lives, he will produce this kind of fruit in us: love, joy, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness.” ~Galatians 5:22

Do I not have enough trust? Do I have enough faith in God to say, “Here, take control of my life, and I’ll sit here and wait.” It seems whenever I do that, I get bored; impatient, and then I get frustrated when things don’t go my way.

Control freak.

I’m definitely a control freak. I need things done in a certain way; a way done by my means. Maybe I’m not giving up my reigns---I’m holding on too tight. Even when you hold on to a loved one too tight, they eventually slip from your grip. Do I have to sacrifice everything in my life God? He sacrificed His life---and I’m whining over miniscule matters.

Is this a test? I feel like I’m being constantly tested. Life is an experience, and sometimes we need to develop character by a test from God.

“God blesses the people who patiently endure testing. Afterwards they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.” ~James 1:12

When will I know when the test is done? My constant questioning is evidence enough that I have no patience. What do I need to get more patience?

Today I heard a message from Joyce Meyer. She said, “Ignore your problem and enjoy your life—regardless what’s going on in your life.” Hmm…sounds difficult, huh? Do I just run away from problems and go out with my buddies---while other things are brewing at home? I don’t understand it—yet I do.

Things aren’t happening fast enough. The devil brings people in my life to torture me--to test my ability to restrain self-control. Why does God let that happen? Does God work hand-in-hand with the devil for the sake of my final exams? It doesn’t seem right, does it? Is it a test of faith?


Let go, and let God. Give Him your cares; give Him all your problems. The one problem is, I have a hard time giving it completely to Him. I give God this huge envelope full of my problems, and say, “Here God, please, take my problems.” Then as I hand him this envelope full of problems, I’m still holding onto it—tightly.

“Let go Debbie.” God says.
”I’m scared.”
“You can’t do this on your own, don’t you trust me enough?”
“I do trust you, but what if, what if, what if…”

And I do.

“Jesus said, ‘Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.’” ~Matthew 11:28

Did you ever realize when there is nothing else you can do, you call upon God? All you can do is pray---all you can do is pray---you hear it all the time, right? “All we can do is pray.” But, are we praying ‘just in case’ he hears us? Or are we fully trusting in God to do His work? Do we believe that He is there with us, always?

I’m having that problem today. I know I can’t fix or solve every problem in my life, but today, I gave them up, and gave them to God. I hope that He hears my prayers, and I trust that He knows my heart, and hears my cries.

Today, I finally let go of the envelope.


Mike said...

This past week or so we seem to be hitting on the same themes...although your posts are generally much more serious (and better written) than mine....have a super day.

~Deb said...

Well, the theme being "God", can refer to many things. I have noticed a lot of bloggers getting into the beliefs of God, and lack there of. My posts are deals with God mostly, but dabbles into other arenas.

You blog is very well written, and very entertaining!

velvet said...

"The devil brings people in my life to torture me--to test my ability to restrain self-control."

This week I was having this same thought.

Will I pass? What is passing? What decision do I make? Why am I even BEING tested? I have faith, I know prayer works. I've had it happen. I've seen The Holy Ghost intervene...I asked for intervention and recieved it. Maybe my problem is now that I've gotten some Ikeep asking for more. Maybe I am asking for too much and God is like "OKAY LADY...enough! You have FREE WILL and a brain and body! USe what I gave you!"

End of my ramble, I'm on 2 hours of sleep.

mal said...

God has all the time in the universe. You and I have the span of our lives. I get impatient too. Standing in line really sucks when you realize that *G*

Casually Me said...

I think there's been one perfect son/daughter all time. After that we are all imperfect. Imagine that? You can't fix everyone. You can't have everything now, or maybe ever. It is what it is, dear. Nothing more, nothing less. You remind me of Pirsig in Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance. What is quality? The idea messed him up for quite a while, or maybe it just made him look at things differently. You are what you are. A brilliant writer for one. Take solace in that, there are so few of you out there. Come on by my blog, no death and destruction today, just love.

Bert Ford said...

The only appropriate comment I can think of off hand is the ols southernism - "Well, bless your heart"
On the other hand I'm reminded of a joke. (of course)

A man's boat sinks, so he prays to God to save him.
A fella'passes by in another boat & offers to help, but the guy says no, God's gonna help him.
A while later a helicopter comes by & once again the guy turns down the help.
At last a giant, talking seaturtle comes by & offers aid, but once again the guy says no he trusts in God.
Finally he drowns.
When he gets to heaven he sees God & says hey why didn't you save me?
God says what do you mean? I sent a boat, a chopper & a giant talkin' seaturtle.

kathi said...

This was wonderful darlin', and I loved the one about the angel and the 'dream' too. I've learned to trust those 'dreams', you know when it's meant for you. I've had several experiences that worked out cause I paid attention what was told to me while I was sleeping. Maybe it's cause it's one of the few times I 'shut up' mentally enough for God to get through.
And who was it that was blogging on patience earlier this week? I can't think clearly. Anyway, it's a lesson learned, not a gift given. Some learn from it and others don't. I like to pay attention and know how to handle the next situation a little better.

I love you deb, can you bring me some good veggie broth or something please?

~Deb said...

Velvet my sweetie: I certainly hope that I wasn’t the one the devil brought to you… *wink* Remember, ask and you shall receive. Sometimes God takes a bit longer for things to happen---but why can’t He give those gifts ‘now’? That’s my question. I know He has His own divine plan, but man—I can’t wait!

Mallory: Standing on line in Walmart is just horrific too! I’m feeling your pain!

Casually me: Thank you for your kind words. Your writing is also a gift----it’s ‘real’ and it’s down-to-earth and inspiring. I think this blog world is such a blessing, because we get to connect with other people who really have the ability to communicate and express themselves. I love that.

Bert: You say it so well! Just love your jokes. I think I missed a few of those helicopters and boats. *sigh*

Kathi: I can’t shut up for nothing—(in my mind)…..wait…..also in real life---what am I tawkin’ about here? Anyway, I have no clue who was talking about patience earlier- but I know that a lot of us have been delving deeper into spirituality and the power of our abilities as humans. Deep stuff—huh? Ha!
I love you too my lil’ southern friend, and I’ll bring over the veggie broth if you can ‘spare a square’!!!
Are you sick sweetie? {{hugs}} Feel better

Chloe' Gardner said...

I'm so proud of you. It's something I've done time and time again, but need to do permanatly. I need to let it go, and trust God. Faith is such a tricky thing. As Christians, we posses it, yet, it seems as if we never have enough. We have faith hi's and low's. I've often thought about "Do we pray for "just in case" or because we truly have the faith and believe. You bring up such good points. Keep up the great writing! *Hugs*

Bill Jones, Jr said...

Love, Joel Osteen would say that the next step after letting it go, is to thank God for granting you His favor. God will meet you precisely at the level of your expectations.

I don't know what your problem is pretty lady, but I know where your answer lies.

~Deb said...

Chloe: Thank you. I’m trying my hardest to give my problems to God and do what I have to do--- but it is hard sometimes. Can’t let go of certain things. I’m sure people can definitely relate to that. Thanks for your comment.

Sable: I know, I sometimes think, “Well did He forget about me?” Then sometimes (I think I can speak for a number of people too) that we lose our faith due to long responses from God. It happens. I’m trying to be strong and wait for Him to guide me.
You don’t know what my problem is? Do you have ALL DAY???? (hehe) Thanks, Sable.

Bad Alice said...

Boy can I relate to this! Particularly when I'm trying to get the girls out the door in the morning. Funny thing is, my MIL has often praised me for my patience. Yeah, I DO have patience--as long as no one gets in the way of my immediate goal! I definitely haven't gotten the hang of "let go and let God" yet. I keep checking in to see if He's done yet.

Leesa said...

It reminds me of my favorite song, Here I Am Lord (sorry, but if you don't know the words):

I, the Lord of sea and sky,
I have heard My people cry.
All who dwell in dark and sin,
My hand will save.

I who made the stars of night,
I will make their darkness bright.
Who will bear My light to them?
Whom shall I send?

Here I am Lord, Is it I Lord?
I have heard You calling in the night.
I will go Lord, if You lead me.
I will hold Your people in my heart.

I, the Lord of snow and rain,
I have born my peoples pain.
I have wept for love of them,
They turn away.

I will break their hearts of stone,
Give them hearts for love alone.
I will speak My word to them,
Whom shall I send?

Here I am Lord, Is it I Lord?
I have heard You calling in the night.
I will go Lord, if You lead me.
I will hold Your people in my heart.

I, the Lord of wind and flame,
I will tend the poor and lame.
I will set a feast for them,
My hand will save

Finest bread I will provide,
Till their hearts be satisfied.
I will give My life to them,
Whom shall I send?

Here I am Lord, Is it I Lord?
I have heard You calling in the night.
I will go Lord, if You lead me.
I will hold Your people in my heart.

I know you are talking about trusting God, abandoning yourself to Him. But it reminded me of this song.

~Deb said...

Thank you Leesa---that was beautiful.

Danielle said...

I always used to joke and say when God was handing out patience I was sick that day. I am the most impatient person in the world and to actually learn patience for me, is a very hard thing. I haven't had patience since day 1 and its tough!!!

HAve a good weekend gurl!

Wenchy said...

I have no patience. None.

~Deb said...

I feel better knowing I'm not the only one! :)

Leesa said...

sometimes I want to give my hubbie to God so that he can make some adjustments. And then I think hubbie would want to do the same with me. If you can get an extra serving of patience, I need a dose.

kathi said...

I'd never heard that song that leesa posted there...really liked it. Kind of like when I tell the kids what chores need to be done and one starts and nearly has the list done while the other one is still waiting for step by step instruction.
Good stuff.

~Deb said...

Well they say that you can't change a person---only God can.

Hopefully I'm next in line!

Oh So Wonderful said...

So beautifully put...

This reminds me of: "God doesn't give us anything we can't handle."