A Thread of Hope
|Are my prayers being heard?|
"Please God, heal my mother!"
"Dear God, please take the cancer away."
I prayed for Dad too.
"Keep on asking, and you will be given what you ask for. Keep on looking, and you will find. Keep on knocking and the door will be opened. For everyone who asks, receives." - Matthew 7That's what the bible says. Every unanswered prayer or a prayer that goes in the opposite direction makes me lose a little tiny bit of hope each time. My ability to trust anything in this world and beyond has declined a great deal. I don't even trust that my prayers will be answered. So how am I supposed to trust anything here on earth? I don't know if I'm being tested, but any time I pray or ask for anything -- anything -- it goes so far from my grip that it's merely impossible for whatever it is to ever happen. But maybe I'm not supposed to be "here" -- or supposed to be asking for "this" or "that" -- it's just. not. in. the. plan. And to constantly go around the same mountain again and again is just plain insanity. See, my problem is, I know that without a doubt, there is a GOD -- and I know HE is right here listening to me tappity-tap-tappin' away on my laptop right now telling the angels, "Ugh boy, we have a lot of work ahead of us."
"When you go through waters of great trouble, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown! When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you." - Isaiah 43-2And so, I've come to the conclusion that this is life. You do not get 'what you want' or rub some shiny vase for your genie Jesus to come out and grant you all of your desires in life. I guess I need more patience, more understanding, more endurance, more 'storms' so I can be stronger for the next hit. Maybe God's just trying to toughen me up a little, since I always run back home to hug my dog instead. (That'll never stop though.) For now, I may take different routes to help me cope, but my understanding of God and prayer is quite different now. Sometimes, the answers are more evident in the silence after we've gone through the storm. And most of the time, it is only one set of footprints, but for a very good reason. I'm just hanging onto a thread of hope here.
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