”Because our words carry tremendous power, we need to learn to say only what needs to be said . . .words which will bless and edify, not curse or tear down.” ~Joyce Meyer
It’s no secret that I don’t think before I speak sometimes. I say things abruptly when I’m angry and sometimes hurt those that I love the most. It happens. There are times where I find myself saying things unintentionally that make others feel bad. It’s because I fail to think before I speak sometimes. I’m still learning. I've learned to keep my mouth shut and wait 24 hours before I speak when I'm angry.
Words hold so much power. Even psychology teaches us to say it, believe it, and then do it. If you keep telling yourself, “I can’t do it, I can’t do it!” Eventually, you will start believing that you can’t do it. If you tell yourself, “I can do this!” Eventually, you will start to believe that you can do it. Visualization techniques such as CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) is another way to establish beliefs in yourself, but verbalizing your actions in my opinion holds so much more power.
People have the ability to influence others with mere words. To my knowledge, I wasn’t aware of how my words affected others- even through my writing. I was getting discouraged, because I sometimes trek over to my reviews of my book, and only see a few sitting in there. The other day, I received an email from a reader who thanked me for helping her. I wasn’t sure if I was making a difference. Then this morning when I woke up, I opened up my email and saw two more sitting in there thanking me for encouraging them to draw near to God. They saw a different point of view from another believer in Christ.
The reason I started writing was through my spiritual encounters I had with God. I quickly started writing what was happening to me, and it manifested itself into a journal, and quickly before I knew it, it then became a book that I published. There were times while writing my book that I felt it wasn’t even my own fingers typing. There were tons of messages brought to me through God that left me speechless.
I thought, “Why me? I’m gay. Isn’t that such a detestable sin?”
I didn’t think I was worthy enough for God to talk to me, because I was living my life as a homosexual. I’m an abomination to God! Why would He even give me a chance to have this beautiful encounter with Him? I was honored. I was also scared at times too, because the feeling of His spirit was so overwhelming at times, it left me shaking and crying out of pure joy. I didn’t think my body could handle this feeling of extreme emotion. I can’t even explain to you how it felt. The only thing I can tell you is- it was real. Like I always say, science can call me on it and say it was a psychotic moment and that my mind produced some type of chemical reaction to make me feel that way. To me? It was amazing. I believe (and know) with all my heart, that God came to me for a reason; a very specific reason.
There are so many tortured souls out there looking for the truth. So many people struggling with their “sin”, or what the mainstream thinks is a sin. In my experience, God called me “His messenger”. No, I’m not going crazy. This is why I am so persistent about my beliefs in God, and why I tolerate such hatred from other Christians. Who’s going to tell me differently from what God has told me? Who do I believe? God or a human?
All scriptures from the bible say that it is inspired by God, right? The people who wrote the bible claim it was from spiritual experiences that they have had. Okay. Think about this though… The bible was written years ago. So many translations of that bible have been tweaked a number of times. I even see the truth in it. I see what they speak of, when they reiterate the fact that homosexuality is a sin. The truth is, they speak of homosexuality in the promiscuous way- the lustful way. They don’t speak of it in terms of a loving relationship between two people of the same gender.
Even heterosexual premarital sex is considered a sin. Now, if the state allowed the gays and lesbians to marry- don’t you think they would try and do the right thing, if premarital sex was seen as a sin? They literally can’t marry due to “people”…not God. Homosexuality is looked upon only in the sexual way. When someone hears, “Oh he/she is gay,” the only thing that comes to mind is sex. But when speaking of a couple that is heterosexual, most likely they will think of a union based in the form of a loving relationship.
Being gay isn’t all about sex. We have emotions, feelings, love and the need for companionship. We desire a life with the person we “love”. Our “orientation” is not an impulse for sexual desires- it goes beyond that. Don’t get me wrong, there are many promiscuous homosexuals, as well as heterosexuals. Fundamentalists can’t see the difference between what the scripture references to. They can only pinpoint the fact that “immoral sex” is bad. Well of course it is! It’s not only bad for the spirit, but it can have a negative affect on the physical body as well if done with carelessness. Being in a union with someone you love unconditionally holds so much more value. God blesses those unions.
God sees our hearts. He knows what we’re going to pray for, before we even speak a word to Him. He knew that some would be gay, some would be straight and others would possibly get lost along the way. This is all meant for a purpose. My purpose is to show those who feel lost in faith because of their sexual orientation; that it’s okay to love someone of the same gender. GOD LOVES YOU! This is His message to them. This is the message to those who are straight and suffering from any other type of guilt their plagued with. I am not twisting the word of God. I am stating what I have heard from Him myself! You can either believe it, or choose to simply ignore my message. That’s totally up to you.
Remember, whatever cross you have to bear, God will see you through it. You’re not alone. Even when you feel too guilty to come to Him- remember that it’s the work of Satan that produces the emotion of “guilt”. God doesn’t give us guilt, anger, jealousy, resentment and depression. Only Satan does. Go beyond this…move forward. Show the devil and his followers or even pseudo Christians that you’re better than that. Step out in faith and know that you will always be loved by God.
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