Thursday, September 07, 2006

The Path

Isolated, alone and frustrated, I rub my morning eyes to see past the fog. In so many ways, my life seems to include dense fog lathering my path with its murky blanket of obscure possibilities. I’m not even sure if ‘possibilities’ is the right word. Maybe ‘challenges’ should be placed there instead. I’m not sure. Then again, maybe they come hand-in-hand. Do we notice the possibilities in our lives? Or do we choose to notice the challenges that come our way? Is the glass half empty? Are we pessimists? Or is there a way to constantly look at life in an optimistic way? It’s hard, isn’t it? Our doubts, our fears and sometimes our lack of self-confidence sometimes puts us in such a dilemma with decisions.

Decisions. Which path to choose. Are any paths the wrong path to take? I’m sure a lot of people will say, “No! Don’t take that path! It’ll lead to death and destruction,” and some will say, “All roads lead to Rome!” So, which do we believe? Which path is the “right” one? Sometimes we feel we know the ‘right path’ to take, but somehow we’re concerned with the outcome or the risk of making any wrong decisions.

Risks. There’s risk in any change of life events. There’s the risk of ending a fabulous job to take on a possibly better one. Will you like your coworkers? Will you enjoy the work more? Will you be happy and content there? What about making decisions regarding your love life? Will this person make you happy? Will he/she make you laugh all the time? Will they take care of you when you’re sick? How are they in a pressured situation? Can they handle a lot? Or are they weak? Can you fully trust this person? How well and how long does it take to know someone before you finally make that big move? Time will tell. How much time do we really have?

Do you see how I drive myself insane with endless self-dialogs in my head? I think too much. It’s an Aquarian thing they say. I hate to get into astrological jibber-jabber. They say we’re too analytical. I dissect every little piece of my life down to the bone. It’s exhausting. I sometimes dwell on things that I shouldn’t entertain the mere thought of. Why do I keep torturing myself? I give myself anxiety and panic of the possibilities of absolutely anything and everything. I fear life. I fear myself. I fear making wrong decisions. But that’s life, right? Life is all about risk taking and making life decisions that are crucial to our lifestyle.

Life changes. We all go through them at some point in our lives. I’m talking about life altering changes. How do you handle them? Do you get frantic and all out of control over a situation you can’t get a grasp on? Or do you let God handle everything? How do you let God handle everything? It seems hard, doesn’t it? “Let go…and let God.” Sometimes I feel like that’s giving up all my control. Then I think, why would I want to have all the control when I can’t even trust my own actions? God can handle this much better than I can. Don’t I trust Him? Is it that I think I’m better than God? Silly. God made me! God directs my life and guides me. This doesn’t mean I take the path that God would rather me on, yet still…he’s always there, even when I take the crooked path.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will direct your paths. ~Proverbs 3:5-6

Right there, it says that God will direct my paths. My own understanding is foggy, like I said before. So, trusting my judgment on certain issues in my life is a risk in itself. My own understanding is murky, and full of uncertainty. I’m beginning to learn, that when I make decisions, they’re not always clear. When I ask God for guidance about what I should do—it becomes more evident that I’m no longer confused anymore. God does things for reasons that are unknown to all of us. We can’t see the big picture, but He can. He does what’s best for us, and He never lets us down. We may come across problems and challenges that stumble through our paths, but He’s always there to walk us through it.

Today, I’ve decided to place all my fears, problems, issues, decisions and life altering changes that may affect myself, as well as other people in my life…in God’s hands.

I ask if you’d please keep me in your prayers during this time. I know I’m being vague with a lot of stuff that could be written down, but I’m remaining a bit quiet due to respect for people involved.

Thank you for all the supportive e-mails and comments you have left for me.

EDIT: Laura Elizabeth gave me this site which relates very much to this post. Thank you! Please click here to read this short prayer. Thank you very much for sending this my way.


Laura Elizabeth said...

"I ask if you’d please keep me in your prayers during this time."

Though I don't pray, I'll do so for you.

Tressa said...

sure thing, deb!

samuru999 said...

In my prayers!
God Bless!

Pittchick said...

I'll be thinking about you. Sending long-distance hugs...

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

oh your poor swwet dear..stay strong and follow your heart..

i love this bitch kind to her..

Lisa said...

I'm sorry your having a hard time Deb.

Life IS full of changes, and at the time we are going through them, they are overwhelming. Given time, the change itself becomes the norm, and life once again feels comfortable, changes and all.

Life will level off again. Stay strong and take care of yourself.

I'll keep you in my prayers


Miranda said...

*big hugs* sent your way. Hang in there. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

Maddie said...

There is not a day that goes by, that my morning doesn't start with a prayer for you.
God bless.

Miss 1999 said...

Deb, you are so precious to me. I know how hard things are for you right now, and I want you to know, I'm here. God knows what you need, and he will always provide for you. Putting your life in his hands, is the best decision that can ever be made. You are in my thoughts and prayers daily. I know that God will give you strength to overcome anything that comes your way. *Hugs*

messiah said...

for what it's worth, i'm another lost aquarian wandering in the wilderness. you're in my thoughts. it will get better.

The Rev. Dr. Kate said...

of course I will pray for you. I am never sure that it is about "the path" we choose. I think if we are honestly trying to follow God. we wind up getting to where God intended us all along. The road may twist and wind, we may go down blind alleys and get lost from time to time, but God always knows where we are and never loses us. Hang on to your faith and know that others care about you and are praying for you.

J R Estelle said...

Let me share this quote by Anais Nin:

We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another; unevenly. We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another. The past, present, and future mingle and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present. We are made up of layers, cells, constellations.

You're in my thoughts.

~Deb said...

Thank you everyone. I appreciate each and every comment! It means a lot!

Maddie, I know you pray for me everyday, as I do for you too. I love you ...always!

CP said...

I love you.

Jaded&Opinionated said...

My prayers are with you.

Follow your passion, and the Lord will provide. He gives each of us a special set of talents to share with the world, and He gives us a way to provide for ourselves and our families. I was scared to death when I thought about going into business for myself, and fought it for quite a while. When I put all of my trust in God, I knew what I had to do, so I did it. It was a struggle at first, but I have been rewarded beyond my expectations.

This is my favorite Bible verse:

"But they that wait upon the LORD
shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; they shall walk, and not faint" Isaiah 40:31

It's true.

Mike said...

The right path always has a lemonade stand...just so you know.

Tense Teacher said...

Amazing that you posted this today, as my best friend and I spent an hour talking about the very same thing. I struggle with how much to let go, since God gave us all brains and bodies to use to his glory. She's trying to teach me how to lay all of my problems at God's feet, even the ones that I think are insignificant.

If I figure out the key to doing that anytime soon, I'll share, as long as you promise to do the same.

Dr. Deborah Serani said...

Wow, your writing is so powerful and thought provoking.

Geek said...

You got it, for both you and Maddie. Be strong, be quiet and listen. Its all any of us can do.

say it hot said...

Life is something we renew each and every day. Even through times of diress or change or great sadness, we are cultivating our lives. If our lives are on a course different from what we imagined, it isn't necessarily the right or wrong one...just a different one. Be strong and be patient and you will be fruitful in the end.

May God bless you both.

kathi said...

Don't you wish that sometimes the Holy spirit was less of a gentleman and more pushy?
The only way to build a muscle is to exercise it, and it's the same way we build up our faith, our trust in God, by exercising it over and over. If it were easy, we'd not learn from it. But, the lesson, we find out later, was always worth what we learned.

I pray that you would be sensitive to the leading and guiding of the Holy Spirit and that your angels would stand guard around you during this difficult time in your life, to protect you from any af Satans attacks as you give attention to that still small voice within you.

Much love and hugs.

Leesa said...

You beautifully wrote: Are any paths the wrong path to take? I’m sure a lot of people will say, “No! Don’t take that path! It’ll lead to death and destruction,” and some will say, “All roads lead to Rome!”

I immediately thought: Were I a Christian at 200 AD, all roads leading to Rome may have meant distruction!

the voice said...

I have come to realize that it is not so much the road you are on, but rather whether you have God with on that road. I believe that what God truly wants of each of us is to use our gifts and talents, which He has provided, to help others, both in and out of the church. He wants us to learn, both from Scripture, and from lifes lessons, and to share what we have learned through testimony.And He wants us to worship Him, both in prayer, and thanksgiving. Do these things, and no matter what road you are on, you will be on the road to Him. I will continue praying for you, Deb. May God bless you, and fill you with wisdom. Ken

Laura Elizabeth said...

You're welcome ~Deb. I hope it helps!

├ůsa said...

Deb! I’m sorry to hear that you are in such hard times. My thoughts are always with you. And you know that one of the hard parts is deciding “what path to take”, but once you have come to the conclusion it will be so much easier. Not depending on the path you choose, but that you actually made a choice. Put one foot in front of the other and keep doing that until you find yourself being happy again. You have to make the decision on your own, but you have so many caring people to support you on the way.


decie said...

Wrong path? Is there such a thing wheatear you take that path for yourself or for someone else, the path you take is your destiny.
I some times fear the path I take but you will always find a warm hand to bring you on your way.

Miss 1999 said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
DaBich said...

You're in my prayers, girl :)