Friday, July 14, 2006

Yehu & the Shabahaba

A bundle of nerves piled up into a nest of static energy. That’s how I’ve been feeling lately. Left over emotions piled on top of freshly new ones have me whisked away at the bar drinking the rest of the owner’s Ketel One martinis.

“I thought I put two ahead on the top shelf here…” The owner mumbles.
“No, it’s that big haired girl sitting in the corner with her fifth martini, Bob.” The bartender says, as he glares over at me to see if I’m still ‘upright’ on my stool.

Naw, it’s not that bad. I’m just stressed out like anybody else—but I somehow seem to manifest it in different ways. They always say never tell what your anxiety attack symptoms are like, because chances are, people who listen to you will develop the same things. So I’m not going to list any symptoms or what I go through. Let’s just say it’s the old fashioned panic attack that plagues me lately.

Deb needs a solution. Deb seeks Reiki treatments. Don’t ask me why I’m writing like a nursery school book here. Reiki treatments are weird for some---and a healing experience for others. Reiki is an old fashioned way of releasing negative energy and pouring ‘white light’ into your system to drain all the bad stuff out. It’s done with a very light touch. It’s not a massage. The person who performs Reiki on you has to ‘believe’ in a higher power, and simply generates his/her energy from “God”, into you. The last time I had Reiki, my back was out. I went to chiropractors all over. Then one chiropractor suggested I do a fifteen minute Reiki session with his friend. His friend was this older lady who did this. My back was healed---instantaneously.

So let me just tell you about this bizarre experience I had yesterday at the spa where I went to get this treatment. Now keep in mind there’s a bunch of hot little numbers walking around in practically nothing, with new trendy hair styles and big clunky wedged sandals. Everyone has long colorful nails and is up to date with anything that has to do with style. The entire place is spewing out with gossip, laughs and a ton of, “Oh muy GAWD! You’re hair looks fabulous!!!” People are shuffling all over, cleaning up and preparing for their next beauty-to-be.

I walked into the place well aware of the busyness that this spa generates. And no, not only ‘business’, but the ‘busyness’. I walked up to the counter to let them know I arrived. Then I see this woman approaching me. Oh she was much different from the rest of them. She stood out like Marilyn Manson in a church choir.

I wish I had a picture. I can only explain the best I could here. This lady approaches me with long gray hair down to her hips. It’s pulled back by two barrettes. She has to be in her early 50’s to late 80’s. I know, it’s a huge age span, but this woman exuded weird exotic health. Don’t ask me what “weird exotic health” means, it’s the first thing that came to mind. She wore this long flowing gypsy-like dress that fell to her ankles. (No, her dress didn’t fall off---it was just very long.) I noticed she was barefoot. Lovely. Her body frame was frail and delicate, and her gait was full of love and peace; much like a hippy from the 60’s. She had a face of an eighty year old and a body of a twenty-five year old. It was a weird combo. My imagination drifted off. I thought, imagine if I saw her from behind and said, “Wow that chick has a nice body,” and then she turns around to reveal her face--and to my surprise it’s this corpse-looking face staring back at me. It reminded me of some sort of Creepshow segment back in the eighties.

So she walks up to me, and gently takes my hand to shake it.

“Hi, I’m Yehu Walkdeavalleyodeth. I will be your Reiki master today” As she bows down to me. (That’s not her name, I can’t remember it, but it was something like that-- probably given to her from some spiritual master.)
“Oh hi, I’m Deb.”
I said back, in this “earthly” not so spiritual tone.

She guides me in this tiny little room that should only fit one person. I was getting claustrophobic and my anxiety was increasing.

“Here, sit on the table as I tell you more about Reiki.” She said in this calm, hypnotic voice. Her calmness almost scared me a little. She looked at me as though she could read my mind. She explained the treatment to the full extent and basically overloaded my brain with a bunch of hocus-pocus gibberish that I didn’t understand. I was willing though.

She laid me on the table on my back with my eyes closed. She put on some new age Japanese music to soothe me. She begins to perform Reiki, as I felt the warmth from her hands on my head. She goes from the head down to the feet to release any negative energy. I can literally smell her diet. It must consist of tree bark, herbs, garlic and someone’s lawn. She was a total vegan—you can just tell. I didn’t care, I was in her care and I was in the state of relaxation.

BANG~^~CriNKLe CriNKLe~^~BANG!!!

Apparently there was a room next door that had people in there mixing hair colors and breaking open new packages for whatever. It was loud---and it was quite a distraction. I felt the Yehu’s agitation through her energy now. I begin to feel her anxiety increasing—which made my anxiety go up. This wasn’t good. Deb needed a martini…bad!

I feel Yehu get up quietly (as if I didn’t know she left) and walk into the other room whispering pleas of peace and quiet. I knew that’s what she was doing. I was glad she did.

It didn’t stop there.

“For real? GET OUT! No way! Oh muy GAWD she’s dating him?”
“Oh and you have to see the car he drives---out..rag...eous!!!

This is what we’re hearing from the front desk. It was penetrating our very small closet-like room into a pounding drum full of cheap gossip. Once again, I feel Yehu tense up…which ultimately made me tense up, since she was pouring out her energy into my body. Great. I need my meds now.

“Deb Pasquella? Oh yeah, she’s in the other room getting Reiki done. Come back later if you want!”

Huh? Who the hell is requesting ME at a spa? When Yehu heard this, I felt her tension once again. She saw my eyes open, due to hearing my name being blurted out at the front desk full of hens.

After the forty-five minutes were up, I sat up and she looked at me with this ‘incomplete stare’. I knew she wasn’t satisfied with her work. She was distracted, and so was I. There was an awkward silence. I had to break it.

“Thank you so much! I feel so relaxed!... Can I ask you a question?”
She says, in this calm, tranquil voice.
“Do you practice this on the side, and if so, can I make an appointment with you somewhere else?”
“I was going to suggest that. Here, take my number. I’m located at the Shabahaba.”


The Shabahaba is a CULT! It’s a commune full of spiritual wackos running around with no shoes on. (Of course I had to change the name of the commune in fear that one of these ladies practice witchcraft of some sort.) Then again, looking back at this Reiki master of mine, I can totally picture her with a black pointed hat and a –oh forget it... Why burden myself with bad karma? I’m so doomed by writing this post in the first place.

I gave her a very generous tip and headed out to pay the overpriced fee for what the spa charges. I walked over to meet my cute little manicure girl. She was waiting for me with my favorite color and a smile. I sat down and began to relax, as the cute little manicurist massaged my hands and made them look as cute as can be.

I start looking out the window and notice Yehu is waiting for a ride. She’s walking around the parking lot and making a lot of spiritual movements. I have no clue how to explain this- but she looked as though she was reaching out to the Gods praying in the midst of people coming in and out of this busy section trying to get a parking spot. I sort of got scared for her. What was she doing? Is she okay? Was she upset over the distractions the spa created for her? Were all her negative energy in ME now?

Finally a car picked her up and drove her back to the Shabahaba. I was relieved that someone grabbed her before the cops did.

Later on that evening, Amy came over and we headed over to this beautiful Japanese restaurant to have sushi. It was her first time eating sushi—and she liked it! She always emphasized on her blog to never, ever ask her to try sushi. Well, I succeeded! And now she has a new item to put on her menu of favorites. As we’re drinking sake and enjoying our dinner, the Japanese music that was playing in the background reminded me of Yehu.

I wonder if she’s okay…