Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Tip of the Day

I don’t know why this is pissing me off now, but I’m sitting here this morning stewing over it. My hair has always been long. (I’ll get to the point—just bear with me) My hair has now reached down to my waist. It’s too long. I usually get it trimmed, so that it reaches the middle of my back. I’m comfortable with that. The ‘getting ready’ process is just God awful. It sometimes takes me literally two hours to get ready. One hour to get dressed, put on make up, and one hour to dry my hair.

I’m due for a haircut, as you can imagine. I usually go to my friend’s salon. Now, usually I prefer people to do my hair- who have ‘nice hair’. It’s the same anywhere, you wouldn’t get a personal trainer who never worked out, who’s overweight and only ate donuts, would you? Same concept. My hair is usually cut by this woman named Tammy.

Now Tammy isn’t quite the typical person you would find at this ‘foo foo’ salon. She looks like a fricken mountain woman. Her hair is almost down to her thigh midway. It’s long, stringy, dirty blonde, and looks as though it hasn’t been washed in a month. She wears the same black faded out jeans all the time. The jeans are tapered. Hello Miss 1982! Her mouth sounds like much like a truck driver’s. Practically every sentence has effin’ this, or effin’ that. It’s enough to make you want to cringe in your chair and put the smock over your head.

“Oh great Deb! Just go sit by the f*cking sinks and I’ll be right there to give you a wash.”
“Umm, okay.”

She struts over to where I am and throws a smock around me, and nearly chokes me with some paper towel around my neck.

“So how the f*ck are ya’ man?” Always using ‘man’ at the end of her sentences drives me batty.
“Good Tammy, what’s going on?”
“Oh nuttin’ really. Got the f*cking truck fixed, and now we’re working on the f*cking floors…you gotta see them, it’s f*cking great!” She says loudly, so the whole entire salon hears her.

She tells me about her home improvements that she does with her husband. They’re both hunters too, so they hunt for deer as well as bears. She lives about an hour north up in the country somewhere, and looks the part. Dead bears and corpses of deer that were gutted beyond belief, are all hanging up as 'pictures' on her mirror. Usually, people have pictures of loved ones on their mirror---not Tammy. She is a proud hunter, and loves to display her ability to shoot down big ol' bears to the world.

“So what are we f*cking doing today man?”
“Well, I just want to get three inches cut off the back with long layers—the usual.”

“Cool. Don’t ever cut your f*cking hair Deb, we’re the last of the breeds man!”

She is now putting me in her category. This definitely makes me want to shave my hair off at this point. I don’t want to be put in ‘the mountain girl column’. I wish I could put her picture up here without the possibility of getting sued for slandering someone. Just stick with my description.

I get my manicures and pedicures there as well. Yes, by her usually. I try to get appointments where I know it's her day off. Never happens. I think she fixes it that way. The girl who sometimes fills in for her does such an amazing job. I feel bad to say anything because I have been going to this mountain woman for almost seven years now.

“You f*cking going out tonight or something?” She asks, as she is filing down my peds and clipping my toenails. I literally saw her wipe her pants off from the previous person’s dead skin. This bothered me. Now my DNA is all over her pants along with someone elses. Lovely.
“No, just getting it done for this week, may go out tomorrow though.” I answer back, looking at her ‘sanding skills’. She must think I’m like her hard wooden floors she’s trying to get done back at home. I’m practice to her.

While my peds are drying, she runs over to do a fast manicure on me. She’s actually really good at it. She’s fast, efficient, and she knows how to cut my hair the way I like it. I usually give her almost half of what the bill is, for a tip. I tip her generously----all the time. I walked up to the counter to pay the bill with my credit card, because I noticed I didn’t have any cash on me.

“Do you mind if I leave the tip on the credit card itself?” I ask the lady behind the counter.
“Oh sure, a lot of people do it that way—that’s not a problem, Deb!”

At that time, I went to say goodbye to Tammy, to let her know the tip was in the credit card info, but she was in the skincare room giving someone a facial.

The owner, a family friend came over to me one time to thank me for taking care of her staff so well. It didn’t bother me, because her staff (mountain woman) always caters to me, runs to get me coffee, and sometimes has my favorite wine stashed in the back. She lets me enjoy a glass of wine while getting my peds and hair done. It’s nice over there. I was comfortable, and I was able to talk to all the other girls there too. (Which was another nice perk!)

A month later I come in for my appointment.
“Hey! Pick out a color and sit at my station, Deb!” Tammy says, as she wraps it up with another client.
“How the f*ck are you??? Listen, man, the last time you were here, you kinda’ forgot to leave me my tip.”
I said, shocked, because I never, ever forget to tip.
“It’s f*cken cool---you can just make up for it with this session.”
“No, it’s not cool, because last time I tipped you even higher.”

I quickly go into my wallet, and flip through the stash of receipts that I keep. I know, I’m weird, but you never know when you may need to use them. In this case, I needed to use them.
I then pulled out my rebuttal. I put it down on the table. Tammy stared at it for a few moments, and then she walked up to the lady at the desk. I thought—problem solved, right?


“Yeah man, you gotta give me cash or let me know that’s being done.”
“Well they need to give you that money, because they charged my account, Tammy. You were in the skincare room, so I couldn’t just go in and get you…I thought that this place would inform you of this tip.”
“It’s cool man.”

I felt as though I still was being reprimanded. First of all, she has some nerve to complain about this. Second of all, I tip her almost half the bill---she should be so lucky. If someone were to tip me like that every single time, I would actually give them a complimentary manicure—something to show my appreciation.

That day, was the very first day I decided to leave almost next to nothing. It was my last day there. I was highly insulted. I was a regular customer there—knew the family who owned the place and loved the staff. They valued me as a customer- except for the mountain woman.

I explained what happened to the owner, and told her I will no longer be coming back to her salon. She was upset, and asked if I could come in on Tammy’s day off.

I didn’t. It just left a bad taste in my mouth. Would you have gone back?


art said...

No friggin way man!

DZER said...

I wouldn't have stuck with her as long as you did!

My haircut isn't hard ... it's buzz off what little hair I have and then shave the skull ... my previous barber started to get a little old and began to nick me ... then pretend he didn't!

After that happening twice, I switched to a different shop.

~Deb said...

Art: I wish I could post her picture up!

Dzer: I am trying to find another salon, but I am so picky with people- I guess I hate change. I'm thinking about getting my head shaved as well. *sigh*

DZER said...

deb: if you shave your head, can you send me your hair? I'll make it into a wig for when I wanna go out in disguise ;)

~Deb said...

You going drag on me now???

Oswald Croll said...

I have my great customers at the bar who tip the Hell out of me in return for 'special' treatment, but I don't expect it every single time. And I understand, from time to time, I won't be able to cater to them the way they'd like, and I hope they understand. On the flip side I also get that they will forget to pay a tab from time to time, and they've earned that right. it's all give and take.

She was way out of line to even bring it up, we won't even mention they way she went about it.

However....I will say someone who cuts your hair and does it so rare. I will stay with the women who does me forever, no matter what she did. And I'm a guy.... although that hasn't stopped me from getting some real bad haircuts over the years. Tough choice, but sounds like you made a stance and are holding firm.

Bill Jones, Jr said...

Okay, first of all, when I read your hair was down to your waist, I had a deep emotional reaction. All that dark, beautiful curly hair...

Sorry, there I go again. See, I'm not really a lips man after all.

But seriously, that was RIDICULOUS!! How could someone complain out loud about not leaving a tip. That is just not cool.

I know I don't have the patience to handle it as well as you did. I would have just given her an FU, and left. But you handled yourself with class and self-respect. Very cool.

~Deb said...

Oswald, I don't expect extra treatment, I just expect the normal treatment that she gives me each time I walk in--but I totally see your point. Some people tip for the wrong reasons.

Sable: You're too cute. Believe me, this mop needs to be cut--bad! I did tip her- on the credit card receipt, but that wasn't good enough for her---even though it was half the cost of the appt! People frustrate me.

Bill Jones, Jr said...

OH, I know you tipped her. I just think it would be uncool even if you hadn't.

Now I'm wondering if folks are secretly mad because I tip on my credit card. You'd think tipping extra would be enough for folks. Especially the ones to stupid to check to see if there was a tip. Like mountain woman.

~Deb said...

Next time I'll tip her with a bear rug or a deer I skinned myself. Ew!

SignGurl said...

I'm going to play devil's advocate hear so bear with me. This woman knew that you had always tipped her well. It was wrong of the person at the desk not to let her know that you had left the tip on the card. I wonder where that money went and maybe Tammy did to, knowing that you are a big tipper. It was definately wrong the way she approached the topic but since she is abrubt about everything else it's no surprise that she approached you the way she did.

I don't know where I was going with this except that I too have endured many a bad haircut and realize the value of a good stylist. :)

I would have done the same thing you did, Deb.

Sheen V said...

Thank you for letting your hair grow that long! Not enough women do, and I think that's a bad thing. Tips are a strange thing. I just overheard a woman complaining that the restraunt she ate at had upped the tip after she had signed the credit card slip and taken her copy. Argh!

~Deb said...

Jenn-- you're right, she is abrupt, so I did expect that sort of reaction. The salon should give her the money that they took from her. That's my thoughts on it.

Sheen: Well, a lot of women look great with short hair--I'm not one of them. I can't pull it off. It's such a pain in the butt trying to get ready when it takes one hour to do your hair. Tips are strange, and it's amazing how people will do that- up the tip on the credit card slip. Usually the person doesn't even notice on their credit card statements.

Leesa said...

Deb: I love your stories.

I occasionally have to sort out the "uppped tips" on my credit card bills. I am OCD, and I enter everything into my home computer. I balance the statements when they arrive - what can I tell you, since I no longer cheat on hubbie, I have to find something to do. Not much of a hobbyist.

~Deb said...

Lisa: I have OCD too, but my ADD prevents me from even sorting those types of things out. *sigh*

Grace said...

Another great story! Kinda reminds me of a Seinfeld episode...
The mountain lady was so rude to say that you forgot to tip her. I can't even think of how I would have reacted to a comment like that. You handled yourself great.

I'm also one of those girls who look horrible in short hair. And I know exactly what you mean about getting yourself prepared to get it cut... I go through the same thing everytime.

~Deb said...

Grace--you know what sucks? When you do your hair before getting it cut---it usually comes out great. Then you end up cancelling your appt----to end up having more bad hair days that week. Story of my life!

Carla said...

I think her habit of being unprofessional really crossed the line here. If she really valued you as a client she would have approached you differently or she would not have brought it up to begin with.

The way you talk about her, you were probably better than most of her clients COMBINED.

Is it possible you are her ONLY client? Is she that dependant on your tip that her whole mountain existance depends on it?

Think you have to move on... Do any of your friends have good hair? :) After all, that is the best judge of a good stylist--the results.

green said...

I prefer to have the same stylist if I can, but I'll go for the cheapest haircut I can rather than fuss over who cuts my hair. I despise haircuts for the reason that, up until age 10 my dad used to do it, bowl cut horribly done every time.

My ex used to have long hair down to her butt and it used to take her a long time to style it. When she put it in a french braid oooh she looked good. Now she has it real short and it looks horrible, since she's got a round chubby face. But I can't tell her that...

~Deb said...

Carla: She's been there for years...and has a big clientele base, so I wasn't her only customer. I guess I was just a 'number'. Ah well.

Green: Yeah, sometimes people cannot pull off wearing their hair too short due to the shape of their face. However, some people look awful with their hair 'too' long. Depends on each individual and what they can pull off. Good thing you didn't say anything-- maybe just give hints... ;)

green said...

No, as the ex, I'm not entitled to give those opinions, and rightly so. I wouldn't want her commenting like that about me & my scraggly fu-manchu thing.

Don't worry, you'll find another good stylist. I'm sure there are some out there who do good work.

BTW thanks for the linkage. :) Happy Thanksgiving to you & Madelene.

~Deb said...

Well give them with caution and tact....if my ex gave me 'beauty opinions', I'd knock her lights out! *hehe JUST KIDDING H!*

Happy Thanksgiving to you too, Green!

Romeo Jensen said...

Hey just stopped bye to wish you a Happy Happy
hmmm... I feel like a recovering drug addict...

"Hi everybody... I'm Romey."


"It's been 3 weeks and 2 days since I last hit on my Lesbien older online sister..."


~Deb said...

You're addicted to me baby...admit it!

Now get over to the other side of the room and grab your Styrofoam cup full of bad coffee and donuts... we're here to get rid of our addictions and get really fat.

Net's word said...

You handled it well I would say Deb. Let me tell you a 'tipping' story from the Canadian side of the border. I worked in hospitality for many years and I always appreciated our Americian customers because you are the best tippers - probably in the world - we in the joke in the trade -

What is the difference between a Canadian and a canoe?

Canoes sometimes tip. lol

As for mountain woman - sounds like a bush girl all the way. I actually have a friend you could have been describing but I will say no more - or she won't be my friend any more.

I am jealous of your long luxurious hair - it looks and sound beautiful - next life I will have some of that.

Have you found a new hairdresser yet? It's as important to some of us as having the right doctor!

Bye for now Curly locks with a hug!!!!

Net's word said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
gigi said...

Om My Goodness Deb! I feel like I've been neglecting you!

I have broken up with hair stylists for less than what you have gone through with the mountain woman!

It's worse than breaking up with a lover, I swear! I am paranoid to even shop in the strip mall my last stylist is located! I'm afraid she might confront me, "So, Who's doing your hair now?" *shudder*

Good luck in finding a new stylist. You know if you need any help shampooing...

Mike said...

1st off.....Happy Thanksgiving sweety...(yeah...I said sweety...I'm kinda sappy sometimes)

I'm with ya on not going back...It would have bothered me as well.

We have 4 different places in the mall where I work that cut hair...and two are places I won't step into due to looking at the 'dos' the staff figure if they have goofy looking hair they're not going to care about giving me a decent cut either.

I also tip reasonably well at the one I go to cut usually comes to about $16 and I always pay $25.

Deadly Female said...

Now the problem over here is that we don't really have a clearly defined tipping etiquette - we tip 'sometimes' in bars, 'always' in restaurants but the rest is a very mushy grey area.

I can so sympathise with you on the hair situation - in my local little town we have two hairdressers on the main street - and in my time I have been to both of them - but never for more than 2 consecutive cuts. I hate going to the hairdresser - I have long (almost waist length too) red hair and am just paranoid about hairdressers. But because my hair is pretty distinctive, I now have to run past those hairdressers in case a) they see me and think my hair is a mess or b) they see me and my hair isn't a mess and wonder why I stopped going to them. I just wish I could find one I liked and stick with them.

Sorry - I rambled a bit there..,

Paula said...

How very, very rude!!! I can understand tipping, but puhleeze, give me a break. Urgh!!! Thank you for your comment about my friend. Hope you, Madelene and those you love have a blessed Thanksgiving.

Your Sis In Christ,

Jerry said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Jerry said...

OK wow...judging by the mountain woman's general behavior I don't think I would leave her much of a tip if at all. Her behavior isn't only unprofessional just having to listen to her talk is reason enough to take you're business elsewhere. Informing the owner was a good thing and never returning the best.

btw...very well written too.

Nettie said...

I have to go with getting the good-but-expensive haircut, cause the time I tried to scrimp-yikes.

Net's word said...

Hey Deb,

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!!

I wish you a day full of all that you are thankful for.

Still Searching... said...

Holy! I think it was quite rude she mentioned it at all, and then to react the way she did. Even if you HAD forgotten to tip, it was not a usual occurrence for you and you sound like you are VERY generous as a rule. Tsk. I wouldn't go back to her. I might go back to the salon if I knew someone else there that would do a good job, but, I would make sure she knew why I wasn't using her anymore.

Oh So Wonderful said...

Ouch. What she did was uncalled for. But you knew that already..I'm wondering what you'll do now. Is there another stylist?

Having said little, I just want to wish you a blessed Thanksgiving!

LisaBinDaCity said...

I'm not sure if I would have gone back or not. Probably not cause that was handled in a very tacky way by mountain woman.

You need a name in da city? I just found an awesome gal! Let me know, she rocks...

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!

~Deb said...

Happy Thanksgiving guys!!!!

Thanks for all your comments. You know, another thing---I came into the salon with a bunch of biscotti (for her), and she says,

"Argh, f*cking great, I'll put them on the table for the customers!"

Then Madelene interjects,

"There for YOU Tammy!!!"

I wouldn't have said anything. I just would have brushed it off.

I have found a new stylist that all three of my sisters use. She is supposed to be so good- that you have to book her a month or two in advance. I don't think I can wait that long---I will be tripping over my fricken hair!

Anyone know how to cut hair? Help!

Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving....will post tomorrow.

Appreciate all your comments, and I'm so sorry to see some good people take down their blogs due to circumtances (ex's and negative comments)

They'll be missed...

Chrissie said...

No! I would not go back...

and Yes i could cut your hair *s* I have over 1000 hours towards my cosmetology license lol

I just decided i didnt really want to stand on my feet all day EVERY day and make small talk with people i prolly wont even like 90% of the time!

And... im not gonna comment about your last thing there. I left a post about it.

Chrissie said...

beauty school drop out... ;)

~Deb said...

You posted about it--but you have no blog... (???)

I would love for you to cut my hair, but the plane ticket would definitely have to be your tip! ;)

Where are you? I am so confused over this mysterious blog drama.

sugarpunk said...

hey deb... (via dzer) ... wow horrible story.. the NERVE of her saying you COULD make it up to her?.. gmafb... right at that very second i woulda stopped her.. and said.. uhhhhhh i dont know if you know this.. but that kinda talk just locked up my wallet ...

and then after proving it to her... OMG.. i most def woulda said.. well im sorry you feel like you do.. but see ya..

i dont know about all the blogdrama.. but it isnt very settling... :(

Top cat said...

I think you need to weigh the difference between this one experience, the quality of service, convenience and whether they do a really really good job the way you like it or not.

Sometimes things happen which are a mishmash of cosmic events all twirling about in single moments like this which spell disaster.

The credit card thing was most likely an oversight, the owners should have offered to compensate you somehow(most likely discount) plus it sounds like you didn't hit it off with mountain girl from the start.

If you like it there, go back, in the future request your stylist, clear the matter up with mountain girl by asking if she ever did finally receive her tip then forget about her(her bad shouldn't become your bad) and finally ALWAYS pay in cash in the future.

btw, your hair looks very nice in our pic.

~Deb said...

Sugarpunk: Exactly, I proved it to her...she still didn't recognize the tip. It was very unprofessional the way she handled everything, and there has to be a stylist out there that can cut a few inches off my hair. I'm not requesting one of those weird wacky stylish cuts---it's just "long hair"... snip! ha!

Top Cat: I see your point. Some people just don't mix, but yet, you need their services. The fact that I'm friends with the owners, and already 'spoke' to them, probably tweaked her a I am definitely afraid of getting my hair cut by this woman. She'll probably shave my head. And thank you for the nice compliment. Although, if you saw it today--ummm--not so good! ;)

Lisa said...

Here in New Zealand we don't tip at all, and if you try to, they're almost offended.

When I went overseas last year, it was something I had to keep remembering to do. I found I left far too much on some occasions, and not enough on others, until someone told me to aim for 15% or something.

I'm with you about this situation though, I wouldn't have gone back. I'd have been mortified that I'd tipped that much and then she 'reprimanded' me like that with everyone listening. And after 7 years??!

Is it just me or doesn't anyone else think it's rude that she even brought up the fact that you didn't tip her last time? I mean, can they do that over there? If you 'forget' to tip them? can they actually bring it up like that, like you've got an outstanding account?

~Deb said...

Technically you don't have to tip at all, Lisa. It's a courtesy. I mean, if she did a bad job, then it would reflect in her tip, ....but for the love of God, I tipped her as though I made the millions! I swear, I was always generous- AND, I even proved that I did tip her last time, and she still was tweaked about it.

She's just unprofessional, and I don't want to deal with someone like that.

Unreal. No outstanding accts over here! hehe!

kathi said...

I can totally relate on the short hair thing, I look like crap with it. But, Lord, I look like death warmed over (what's that mean, anyway?) with long hair. The medium length thing...totally a no go. Okay, now I've got myself in tears...ARE YOU HAPPY NOW????

Here's what I don't get. If you really liked the way she (earth woman) cut your hair, why couldn't you just tell her that she acted like crap and it offended you? You don't seem like the shy type, deb (and I've got emails to prove it). I'd told her to kiss my ass, I did tip her on my credit card. I can see having quit going to her a long time ago if she irritated the crap outta you so much (I wanted to slap her just from knowing her the little bit from this post) but not over this thing. Plus, I mean...they had your wine there! I've never went anywhere they did that for me. Actually though, I usually cut my own hair and I always have something for me to drink...and I always tip myself damn good! I'm just a hell of a good person, what can I say?

Love ya deb.