Tuesday, November 08, 2005

The Race

“Ugh!…This is ridiculous.” I mumble to myself, as I struggle to button my jeans. It was obvious I had gained a few pounds from vacation. It was also a fact that I wasn’t exercising for at least three weeks due to my bad back. It was also a damn slap in the face to realize –ugh, enough of the beer Deb!

“I have nothing to wear!” I blurt out, trying to get ready for my chiropractor appointment.
“Deb, you have a closet full of clothes.” Madelene tries to point out to me.
“A closet full of clothes that are way too snug on me! I can’t wear this…” I throw another pair of jeans back on the shelf.
“You look beautiful, Deb.”
“Shut up.”
I said, laughing; knowing she was just trying to love me ‘the way I am’. Oh yeah, wait till I’m 300 lbs and having a personal tailor cater to my every needs. Whoa Nelly! I don’t want her to tell me I’m beautiful then!

How shallow I am, huh? I gain ten pounds, and then I think I’m “ugly”. A friend of mine will gain ten pounds, and I say, “Wow, she looks great with a few pounds on her—doesn’t matter if she gains weight, she’s beautiful!” God forbid I gain—I’m committing myself to the fat farm!

Here’s the deal… I tend to get depressed if I don’t feel good about myself. I think I can speak for a lot of people actually with that sentence alone. Since Madelene knows I get grumpy and depressed while stewin’ in my ‘oh I’m sooooo fat phase', she suggested something really interesting.

We’re both going to try to lose fifteen pounds—together. We’re making this a race. Whoever loses fifteen pounds first, gets something they want… We haven’t set the winnings yet on the table, so that’s why I am coming to all of you. We already weighed in--so the race is on!

Here are the rules---they’re simple. We can diet however we like. We don’t have to go on the same diet. The main rule is, we cannot ‘starve’ ourselves or go on any diet pills. Uhh, this includes not going to my local surgeon. Damn it!

Since we are able to diet however we like, I decided to do two main things here. (Oh- and I can exercise again, because my back is better.)

Deb’s Advantages:

#1. I joined Weight Watcher’s… Yep… I’ll be one of those jolly ol’ souls holding up a sign with a number of how many pounds I dropped…………..or gained. Shush!

#2. I hired a personal trainer at my gym. (Quite a hottie too!) That alone will keep me motivated. I never hire men, because, well...I need eye candy fellas!

#3 I work from home. I have salads, yogurts, oatmeal and Weight Watcher dinners for meals. I have the ability to go to the gym for a couple of hours if I’d like…So with that, it gives me more ‘active’ time, and more options for better diet meals.

Deb's Disadvantages:

#1. My love for beer! Taking away beer from me is much like taking away a psycho's medication that is truly needed. So not only is Deb going on a diet here, but she's also going on some weird 12 step program. I may need to cut off a few people from my life. If a few of you get apology letters from me--just take it with a grain of salt--because I'll be back!... Seriously, sometimes my fridge looks much like this picture. We replenish beer as if it were water. I always come home, pop open a beer or two to relax. This has added up to three or four sometimes during the weekends---and even possibly more.

#2. My love for wine...I drink wine when I am having dinner out at a restaurant, or occcasionally with dinner at home. I have cut down due to it's affects on my stomach.

#3. My love for vodka...this is always followed with a beer, or I will have a martini.

#4. My love for pasta...I'm Italian. Enough said.

Madelene’s Disadvantages: (Notice the negativity first on her list?)

#1. She works late hours, no time for the gym. She’s going to try to squeeze in thirty minutes on the treadmill at home. (She’ll be too exhausted when she comes home anyway...)

#2. Her office always orders pizza, fast food, and Mexican for lunch. They have no fridge to store their food in, and no microwave. Their only option is take out food for lunch. Of course, Madelene can get a salad or something other than the pizza--but isn't that too tempting???

Madelene’s advantages:

1. She loses weight very fast. She doesn’t even have to work out to lose. So this scares me. Keep in mind that I’m thirty-one years old, and she is forty-one years old. Metabolisms are all screwed up with us. Mine is as slow as molasses and hers is, well---forget about it!

2. Her willpower is amazing.

3. She weighs less than me. (biiottchh)

I’m taking bets. This is so that it’ll make it more fun for us, if you vote for who will win this competition. We end this competition after New Years.

Who you voting for? Madelene? Or Deb?

You can vote for Madelene, she’ll be monitoring the blog as well---I won’t be hurt. It’ll only give me more motivation to kick her arse!


gigi said...

Deeeeeb-I am a fitness professonal! Quit your gym join mine I'll tain ya!

Weight Watchers is the ONLY way to lose!
I know from experience. *drum roll* I have my gold key!!!
WooHoo Life time member!

texasshiva said...

I vote for Madelene....cause will power is the biggest thing, and I know how *I* am with beer. She'd kick my ass in a heartbeat.

midwest_hick said...

What happens if it's a tie?...Do you both win?....lol...Will power is a powerful advantage but I'm not sure I wanna vote against ya.

Danielle said...

Gurl you can do it!! I love pizza and potatoes and junk to much, cheesesteaks, mexican food, omg I am getting hungry just thinking bout it.Weight Watchers is a good deal! alot of people are successful on WW. Good luck!

~Deb said...

Gigi: A gold key? Wow! Now, I think you should come to my town, and be my personal trainer! The pay is great, and the benefits are fabulous! ;)

Texas: You would vote for Madelene! *grr* I said I wouldn't be mad... But yes, my beer is my downfall, so let's see how my will is to keep this up. *crossing fingers*

Midwest: Good point. I didn't think of that. I guess we both do win- since we'll be thinner and healthier... BUT---we haven't even figured out 'what we get' IF one does win.

Can you all help me with that?

Danielle: I know, the more I think about this diet, the more I want all the bad food. I'm really not a 'bad food' person, I eat a lot of normal stuff, it's the damn beer that gets all the junk in ma'trunk! *sigh*

Thanks for the encouragement. I'll be reporting periodically with the results, in between bad dating stories of course.

Georgiapeach said...

Wow, I just started my diet yesterday. Well, after eating so damn much I had no choice...lol Anyway, I am going to post something about my weight insecurities tomorrow. Good luck. I am sure you will do well. Also, I love wine,beer,liquor,rice and pasta. My sister wants me to go on the white diet with her. It is where you do not eat anything white. However, that is not going to happen because I love rice. I want to so Trim Spa but I haven't looked into it yet.

Oswald Croll said...

1. Vodka is relatively low cal, so drink away.
2. I would rather die than quit eating Italian food. My mother is Italian and would disown me. I have just learned to embrace my extra 5-10 pounds. I call them my fun fat.
3. Damned that beer anyway. Sitting there looking all delicious. So tempting, I feel a serpent should be offering it. Screw the apples.

Oswald Croll said...

Oh, and I'll vote for Deb.... pizza+ office + long hours is a killer.

~Deb said...

Georgia: Yeah, I heard of that before- the 'no white' diet, and no carb thing- or 'low carb'. I'm just going to stick with small portions throughout the day and see how that takes me. I really need to step into AA after my Weight Watcher meeting. My next trip--the insane asylum... believe me

Oswald: Fun fat! I love it! I should embrace it, but I'm afraid my girlfriend won't! ha! Anyway, yes, I think the office is a death threat to all diets. I don't work in an office atmosphere thank God, so it helps me to keep out of that 'danger zone'.

Anonymous said...

Loosing the alcohol alone will help you drop weight quickly,
and for your quick 12 step reference while you do so remember these:

One day at a time
This too shall pass
Keep it simple stupid
One is to many, a thousand is not enough
First things first
act as if
sobriety is a journey not a destination (works with food too)
keep the plug in the jug
no pain... no gain
Keep coming back..... it works if you work it
and one of my favorites... we're all here because we ain't all there

well with those I think you get the picture and can take yourself on the happy road to sobriety and weightloss with motivation and determination.

I am wondering if your seats will be taken? Hmmm, maybe I will come and keep them warm for you while your on your journey!

In the mean time l vote for you.
Madelene already has a head start!

OH, and by the way I would get a man as a trainer, he'll work you much harder. Eye candy won't motivate you, it will just make you drool and drop things!


~Deb said...

No man as a trainer lp! I don't want to 'bulk up'---plus, there are some excellent woman trainers who teach you how to really trim down... but yes- I know some great male trainers too.

Hey- it's not about the head start here------regardless of who is thinner--- we both have to lose 15 within a certain time frame starting today. Today will be my first time at the gym.

Wish me luck that I don't end up calling 911 while mangled on a treadmill.

Thanks for the advice sweetie!

Love u!! xxoo

green said...

For the record and to set the record staright, I suggest you post pics of yourself and Madelene here as you look now - today, and when the contest is over and a winner is declared.

Especially for those of us who only know you through the blog thing....

For the time being I reserve my vote... but good luck to the both of ya anyway!!


kathi said...

You're dieting through the holidays? Are you nuts? (scratch that, forgot where I was)
Awwww, deb. My loss of thought here has me confused, I think I need to eat. I'll be back after lunch.

~Deb said...

Green: Already doing that. We are going to take pictures now, and then when we do lose the weight- post the results...but both at the same time.

Kathi: Yeah, the holidays, I know.........@$@(*&$#(*% this will be definitely one huge challenge for us! hehe....we'll try to make it through!

gigi said...

Come excersise with me and you'll lose weight and have fun.
*slow motion siren like wave while wearing revealing workout clothes*

Trace said...

Deb, I have a slow as hell metabolism too. I have to exercise my ass off just to maintain.

But I'll tell you one thing, since I found out that I'm insulin resistant and had to cut out refined sugar altogether and watch my carbs, I've dropped three sizes and 35 lbs. It really does work. Just go by the glycemic index.

~Deb said...

Gigi: I'm all for it! :)

Trace: The weird thing is, I never have refined sugar--ever. My coffee is always black, no sugar, and no cream. I don't have much of a sweet tooth, but my sugars come from those empty calories with the alcohol. I am watching my carbs though--that I know I have to do.
Thanks for your tips! And congratulations on your success!

DZER said...

drink light beer darlin' ... and light wine (like boone's).

go maddy!


Bill Jones, Jr said...

I'm rooting for a tie, so you both win.

Do weight training, you won't bulk up (you don't produce enough testosterone). When you build muscle, the hormones they produce burn off fat by themselves.

I had a bet like this with an ex-girlfriend. The loser had to buy the winner new clothes in our new lower size.

I won, she bought me clothes (but I bought her some anyway).

Good Luck

Carla said...

You said the winner gets what they want, but you never revealed what that was.... how can we make a decision if we don't have all of the facts????

PS. Self improvement rocks!

Michelle said...


I am with you girl. I am a fitness "addict" myself which is why I pulled out my back and am laying here still on the couch.

I am afraid the couch and I will become as one.

~Deb said...

Dzer: My light beer is usually Amstel Light- which is 95 calories. Something's wrong here!

Sable! What a good idea! A new wardrobe! I love it!!! I am going to put that one on the table. Thank you so much for that! The weight training thing--oh what an experience I had with that. Instead of the muscle burning the fat-----the muscle just GREW under the fat. I looked like a puff ball on steroids. Ugh. Awful, and so not feminine! Thanks for the tips though. I think I need to lose first, then weight train.

Carla: Sable just answered that dilemma! A new wardrobe! YAY! Love clothes!

Michelle: With my back out for appx three weeks, I was getting better. I pulled my back out--YET AGAIN--on the treadmill yesterday. So needless to say, disadvantage for Deb---I cannot work out until I go for x-rays--which will be today. You're back is out too? It's awful!

Tanisha said...

Debbie Debbie She's our girl.. She can do it give us a whirl. I guess you are more determined. I am trying to lose 45lbs. Good luck. I'll be counting caalories with you. OH and try YOGA it works the fastes as far as toning and losing weight

~Deb said...

You know, that's what I heard too. As far as my back goes, I can't be doing the two hour per day like I used to--I was really into it when I did it daily. Now, my back is hurtin' and I need some 'beginning yoga', because hell---the advanced stuff basically puts your arse in a pretzel! ha!

Thanks for the encouragement! I am going to need it....and an AA meeting--that's for sure...

Sober for a whole week....HELP!!!!!

becca said...

Tells deb: i vote for you!

*whispers to magdelene: You too!


Deb turns around: What did you say to magdelene?

me: Nothing!

Soon... both lose weight! yay!

Anonymous said...

Where did you find it? Interesting read » »