Tuesday, November 08, 2005

The Race

“Ugh!…This is ridiculous.” I mumble to myself, as I struggle to button my jeans. It was obvious I had gained a few pounds from vacation. It was also a fact that I wasn’t exercising for at least three weeks due to my bad back. It was also a damn slap in the face to realize –ugh, enough of the beer Deb!

“I have nothing to wear!” I blurt out, trying to get ready for my chiropractor appointment.
“Deb, you have a closet full of clothes.” Madelene tries to point out to me.
“A closet full of clothes that are way too snug on me! I can’t wear this…” I throw another pair of jeans back on the shelf.
“You look beautiful, Deb.”
“Shut up.”
I said, laughing; knowing she was just trying to love me ‘the way I am’. Oh yeah, wait till I’m 300 lbs and having a personal tailor cater to my every needs. Whoa Nelly! I don’t want her to tell me I’m beautiful then!

How shallow I am, huh? I gain ten pounds, and then I think I’m “ugly”. A friend of mine will gain ten pounds, and I say, “Wow, she looks great with a few pounds on her—doesn’t matter if she gains weight, she’s beautiful!” God forbid I gain—I’m committing myself to the fat farm!

Here’s the deal… I tend to get depressed if I don’t feel good about myself. I think I can speak for a lot of people actually with that sentence alone. Since Madelene knows I get grumpy and depressed while stewin’ in my ‘oh I’m sooooo fat phase', she suggested something really interesting.

We’re both going to try to lose fifteen pounds—together. We’re making this a race. Whoever loses fifteen pounds first, gets something they want… We haven’t set the winnings yet on the table, so that’s why I am coming to all of you. We already weighed in--so the race is on!

Here are the rules---they’re simple. We can diet however we like. We don’t have to go on the same diet. The main rule is, we cannot ‘starve’ ourselves or go on any diet pills. Uhh, this includes not going to my local surgeon. Damn it!

Since we are able to diet however we like, I decided to do two main things here. (Oh- and I can exercise again, because my back is better.)

Deb’s Advantages:

#1. I joined Weight Watcher’s… Yep… I’ll be one of those jolly ol’ souls holding up a sign with a number of how many pounds I dropped…………..or gained. Shush!

#2. I hired a personal trainer at my gym. (Quite a hottie too!) That alone will keep me motivated. I never hire men, because, well...I need eye candy fellas!

#3 I work from home. I have salads, yogurts, oatmeal and Weight Watcher dinners for meals. I have the ability to go to the gym for a couple of hours if I’d like…So with that, it gives me more ‘active’ time, and more options for better diet meals.

Deb's Disadvantages:

#1. My love for beer! Taking away beer from me is much like taking away a psycho's medication that is truly needed. So not only is Deb going on a diet here, but she's also going on some weird 12 step program. I may need to cut off a few people from my life. If a few of you get apology letters from me--just take it with a grain of salt--because I'll be back!... Seriously, sometimes my fridge looks much like this picture. We replenish beer as if it were water. I always come home, pop open a beer or two to relax. This has added up to three or four sometimes during the weekends---and even possibly more.

#2. My love for wine...I drink wine when I am having dinner out at a restaurant, or occcasionally with dinner at home. I have cut down due to it's affects on my stomach.

#3. My love for vodka...this is always followed with a beer, or I will have a martini.

#4. My love for pasta...I'm Italian. Enough said.

Madelene’s Disadvantages: (Notice the negativity first on her list?)

#1. She works late hours, no time for the gym. She’s going to try to squeeze in thirty minutes on the treadmill at home. (She’ll be too exhausted when she comes home anyway...)

#2. Her office always orders pizza, fast food, and Mexican for lunch. They have no fridge to store their food in, and no microwave. Their only option is take out food for lunch. Of course, Madelene can get a salad or something other than the pizza--but isn't that too tempting???

Madelene’s advantages:

1. She loses weight very fast. She doesn’t even have to work out to lose. So this scares me. Keep in mind that I’m thirty-one years old, and she is forty-one years old. Metabolisms are all screwed up with us. Mine is as slow as molasses and hers is, well---forget about it!

2. Her willpower is amazing.

3. She weighs less than me. (biiottchh)

I’m taking bets. This is so that it’ll make it more fun for us, if you vote for who will win this competition. We end this competition after New Years.

Who you voting for? Madelene? Or Deb?

You can vote for Madelene, she’ll be monitoring the blog as well---I won’t be hurt. It’ll only give me more motivation to kick her arse!