Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Insanity

Another editing blunder? Editing has the same letters as dieting. They both suck. Just when I thought my book was on the press, my editor calls me up to explain that there were formatting errors. Okay, so it wasn’t an editorial blunder, it was a formatting issue.

Fine.

Eight whole hours fixing corrections, and another eight long hours of Madelene proof reading was another fiasco. Don’t editors do these things? They want approval from the author. Go with it! Take it—leave me alone now! I was getting so frustrated that I almost said, “Listen, I’ll just blog the fricken book.”

I decided not to get upset or angry, and let these agitated feelings subside. I sent the book on its way to my editor for the final revisions that needed to be fixed. I said a prayer and let the book fly. Yesterday, at 1pm, I decided that my day is officially over.

“Ma? Let’s go out to lunch, my treat.”
“Really? Great. Come down in an hour or so.”

We headed off to the place I used to bartend at. We sat down at the bar and ate lunch. It was so nice to get out of my office, and into my old atmosphere of peace and tranquility. I needed a break from the publishing company and I needed to spend more time with mom. My friends were all there, (the workers) and the chef was bartending. Hmm. Who’s cooking?

We had a nice little crowd gather at the bar. Everyone was thrilled to meet my mom. I never knew what a social butterfly my mother was. It amazed me how well she meshed with everyone, and how she needed interaction with other people---desperately. She’s retired now, and has become depressed a little. She used to work in retail for a well known company, and surrounded herself by many people. The sudden change in life of retirement had her in a state of shock. The only person she really gets to talk to is my father, and of course Madelene and I, since we both live in the upstairs apartment.

While my mom was talking up a storm, my cell phone rings at the bar. This surprised me, because I always leave my phone on ‘silent mode’, because I think it’s awful when a cell phone rings in a restaurant. My editor called.

“Everything is okay, Deb. We’re ready to go with it now.”

I thought to myself, if I would have let this stew within me all day, and stayed home waiting for his call, I would have been in my office grunting and moaning of what a pain in the butt it is to be a writer. (Or try to be.) Instead, I left it in God’s hands. I prayed before taking my mother out, and asked God to handle everything for me. He did. I had faith in Him, and I believe with all my heart that this was the work of God. He took the worry away from me. If I stayed home stewing, or if I were to go out and have fun with mom, I would have had the same answer, regardless. Which brought me to another thought—regardless of circumstances, continue your life and enjoy the journey getting there. Do we worry too much, waiting for things to happen? Do we rely on ‘ourselves’ too much—which eventually leads into stress and anxiety?

“Don’t worry about anything-instead pray about everything. Tell God your needs and don’t forget to thank Him for His answers.” ~Philippians 4:6

Prayer is so underestimated. I feel as though God has a place for all of us. God knows the paths of our lives, and wants us to fulfill them. A lot of people, including myself aren’t sure about their destiny. I believe that if we were certain about our destination, then we wouldn’t need God at all. I’m grateful that I’m sort of ‘clueless’ about where I should be. I’m trusting God that He knows what’s best for me, regardless of where I’m at right now.

I’ve learned that in order to realize where we really need to be, we have to go through certain things; we have to try different things. If we don’t, we’ll be stuck in the same rut, overanalyzing why we’re in the same predicament. If you don’t try, you won’t know. I’ve tried numerous jobs, various positions in companies, and a whole lot of bartending jobs--to realize that these were just stepping stones. I enjoyed a lot of my ventures, but I knew in my heart that this wasn’t meant for me for the long run.

“Even so, I have noticed one thing, at least, that is good. It is good for people to eat well, drink a good glass of wine, and enjoy their work—whatever they do under the sun—for however long God lets them live. And it is a good thing to receive wealth from God and the good health to enjoy it. To enjoy your work and accept your lot in life—that is indeed a gift from God. People who do this rarely look with sorrow on the past, for God has given them reasons for joy.” ~Ecclesiastes 5:18-20

This even applies for the struggle over a past relationship. We all go through this one time or another. We’re meant to experience many things in life. I believe we learn from our ventures and through our relationships. It helps enable us to learn and grow; to learn from our mistakes. If it weren’t for our mistakes, we would keep doing the same thing over and over again.

Albert Einstein once defined insanity.

“Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

If we try things with a different approach, we receive different results. We also have to go through situations in order to ‘get through' them.

“We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they are good for us—they help us learn and endure. And endurance develops strength of character in us, and character strengthens our confident expectation of salvation.” ~Romans 5:3-4