Monday, August 22, 2005

Potluck, Pot Roast, Poker & Picket Party

I couldn’t resist. She has done it again. Alyssa, Alyssa, Alyssa. My dear friend is stirring up the pot that had already slowed down from the likes of my wooden spoon. The Orange Pride Group has yet another battle to cease.

In case you haven’t read my post, “We’re Not Just Lesbians”, this issue is about my big mouth and sarcasm that went wrong. A lot of these ‘lesbian’ groups like to hold events that will make everyone happy. They have potluck dinners, poker parties, luaus, bowling night and firehouse parties. I wrote an e-mail in jest, ranting off some ideas of what events I think they should accommodate. Bad move. I made some comments (joking around) and some of the ladies took offense. I did apologize, however, I can’t resist poking fun at our community. I’m a bastard. I know.

Anyway, to make a short story long, I get this e-mail from one of the members who I was battling with---which we became cordial afterwards. She writes this to me:

“OK...I thought you and I came to a good place.....we laughed and put it away.......who the hell is this......????At least you had a sense of humor.....geez!I'm not touching this one......Do you know this person? Not asking for a name...just curious if you knewwhat her deal was.......”

Apparently, Alyssa had thrown them an e-mail that was much more crass than mine. She is a very comical, cynical-type of person who is a lot of fun to be around. Her sarcasm can scare anyone, easily, if they are weak in character; however, if you get to know her, she's hysterical. She is a very talented musician, has a set of pipes on her you wouldn't believe (get your minds out of the gutter gals) and she plays a mean guitar. Get to know her- she is a wonderful person in spite of her dangerous e-mails. Yes, a force to be reckoned with!

You can visit her site at: http://www.bleudogproductions.com/about.htm Check one of her shows out.

I had gut feeling I knew who e-mailed this. I chuckled for a bit, and then thought, “Eeeek! What if these ladies think it’s me?” However, that thought passed, and humor took its place. I guess it is extremely hard to find events to hold and cater to people who do have addictions with alcohol (hence going to a bar or restaurant) and being sensitive to all of that.

Question: If you hold a poker party, is that considered gambling? It’s an addiction, right? They even have gamblers anonymous. Now I can be a real jackass and go back into their website and rant & rave like a lesbian lunatic screaming, “I have a gambling addiction! How can you be so insensitive?” But, maturity is rising in my blood. I will remain quiet and let them have their poker parties. I do plan to attend one of these 'meetings' and 'social gatherings'...beware ladies! Remember, take everything with a grain of salt, right?

Okay, let’s have some firehouse fun, shall we? It’s free to hold parties there, it’s a big room, and we can put a pole in between our legs, if so desired. I hope one of these girls is a stripper. Now that’s what I call a fired up party! They even indicated that it will be “BYOB”. They answered my prayers. Being that I am an alcoholic, (not recovering or former alcoholic) but an enjoyable one at that, I appreciated their efforts in enabling my addiction.

Aside from all the tit for tat bickering that our luau lesbians have set forth, I am hoping to meet all of them, in a neutral meeting venue, which will provide sensitivity for all. Sense of humor is a must, and no weak links---or you’re out! Let’s all have fun, joke around, and take light of this situation that is set before us. Our gay & lesbian community not only needs a drink, but a good laugh to go along with it!

I’ll say cheers to that!!!

God bless!