I'm Running on Empty
This is not my typical blog post you're used to reading. I'm basically just jotting down how I feel and what's been brewing inside my lil' ol' noggin. I've been thinking and thinking and thinking…and it's time to turn the 'thinking mode' off. I want to be free and not have to worry about anyone right now. I want to enjoy life with whomever I want - not whoever is here. I want to be around sincere people who don't criticize or judge the way I live. I want to be around those who are truly positive about life - people who will uplift me and not tear me down…or apart. So bear with me as I vent it all out today.
So I thought about it all and decided to remove myself from certain equations. I have no obligation to make other people happy - the ones who expect it 24/7. I am only responsibly for my own happiness, and by giving myself a dose of happiness, I'll be able to afford giving others some happiness as well. If you love or happy tank is on "E" - then there is nothing to give to anybody else. Once you suck the life-force out of someone, they'll no longer have anymore resources to give. I truly believe this is why I have been having so many panic attacks and sleeping problems. I feel obligated all the time and pretty much used. And that's pretty draining. You either do things with a sincere heart or go home. Nobody wants things done grudgingly. At this point, I'm afraid I'm doing everything grudgingly, because my tank is empty.