Friday, March 14, 2014
Is There Ever a Good Time to Lie?
"Did you make that mess?!?!"
I recently heard a "far-fetched" story that was confirmed false after running into one of the people involved in the tale. The funny part is, I knew it was a super exaggerated story because this person has told a ton of them before. For whatever reason, I always need to confirm them because I can't get over -- or better yet, I can't understand why she feels the need to tell such outrageous tales. It's not even harmful accusations made - they're just completely false stories. I always question the mental stability and of course, if there are any "tales" about me out there.
People love to hear a good story, but the majority of people don't want to be lied to. I remember this woman who frequents our local bar got so upset with me one day because she accused me of lying to her. This bar is generally a "straight bar", so I don't typically tell people I'm a lesbian unless asked. So one night, as a bunch of us were sitting at the bar, she asked us, "So are you two married? I see you both have rings on." I told her yes and so did Madelene. I just didn't tell her we were married to each other. Now, whether omitting that fact was a lie or not, in my own defense, there were a lot of - how shall I say - rednecks surrounding the general area where we were talking. You either get an all out negative response (sometimes religious rebukes) or you get the ones who look over their draft beer and slur out, "Can I watch?" So for our own safety, I omitted. Yes, I lied.
"Look at what he's wearing. Does he have a watch? Is he wearing anything special that you can note other than some strange Hawaiian shirt?"
"Yes! He's actually wearing a silver watch with a blue face on it!"
"Tell him your friend works for some watch company, and she had a leftover expensive silver watch with a blue face on it and if he would like to have it. Wait for his reply. If he says, 'Oh I have one just like that!', then he's your guy."
And so…he was. She was even brave enough to push it to the limits and asked him if he owned a light blue button down shirt with a white collar, because she loved those types of custom made shirts. Well it so happened that he had one. She then called him out on the photo and said, "I love the photo of you and your friends at the birthday party!" As relieved as he sounded over the phone, he then said, "Yeah, that's me! I didn't have recent pics to use on my profile." My friend decided to never speak to him again after that. Was it shallow of her? Do you think she should have reconsidered meeting him? He was the total opposite of his photos, in fact, she's even sure that the person in the photos were not him at all.
I'm not sure which type of lie is worse: omitting, the self-defense lie or the exaggerated tale. Do you think one or all of the above insults your intelligence? Would you call the person out on their bullshit or would you just let it go in one ear and out the other?
EDIT: My mom called me after reading this post and said, "Deb, I have a letter you wrote me when you were a little girl. You apologized for lying." (Photo below.) I guess I'm a liar just like the rest of them. Sorry Mama!
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