Don't Look for a Relationship, Look for Your Best Friend
|Little factoid: Did you know penguins mate for life?|
Okay, where was I?
The website included these differences between thinkers and feelers.
- Firm, fair and rational
- Interested in logical analysis
- Make decisions with the head
- See logical inconsistencies
- Value truth and logic
- Driven by dispassionate objectivity
- Caring, passionate and emotional
- Interested in people and feelings
- Make decisions with the heart
- Feel how others are feeling
- Value tact and diplomacy
- Driven by passionate subjectivity
Here's the problem with thinkers being with feelers. The below demonstrates how one possibly feels about the other.
Thinkers may see feelers as:
- A little soft
- Cold and inconsiderate
- Uncaring and overly hard
- Too robotic and logical
- Lacking humanity
I remember a time when my wife and I separated for a period of time, my friend pointed out something unintentionally offensive, yet I knew what she meant. She said, "Your partner is very surfaced." I had to ask what that meant because I wasn't clear on the term itself. But what she was trying to say was, there was no emotional attachment to her conversation. I instantly knew why. My wife doesn't like to get very involved with people she doesn't know well and she's also a very private person. She will give you factual chatter, but nothing about herself or "how she feels", because let's face it -- she's not a "feeler". Me on the other hand, I'm an open book. I don't tell anyone else's personal stuff, but I have no problem revealing some of my own inner emotions. They may not be logical based stories, but definitely stories from my memory, heart and emotions. This is why I seem to click better with writers and artists. They think with their heart and not their head.
These are just my 'emotionalized' opinionated thoughts on relationships. I also think there are many people who go for mates for a specific reason other than love. Maybe it's for security, safety, money or just wanting an extra parent for their kids. Many factors go into the reasons why someone wants to be with someone else. Sometimes it's not about love. Sometimes it's about survival.
Do what works best for YOU.
My "thinker" mate asked, "Well why are you still with him?"
"I can't afford not to," she said, while taking another slug of her stale brew. "I don't have any qualifications to get a job and nobody wants to even hire me at some dinky donut shop, so I don't know how I would possibly live alone."
I spoke to Mad about this afterwards. I couldn't help but think about what I would do if I were in her shoes. I would rather go on Welfare, try pursuing a job and live in an efficiency studio apartment than live with someone I hate.
One of my favorite proverbs is this one: "A bowl of soup with someone you love is better than a steak with someone you hate."
I love you, Madelene.
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