How Badly Can Gossip Ruin a Friendship?
The thing with people who gossip too much is that you can't possibly trust them to save your life. Think about it: if they're rambling on about someone else, wouldn't you think they'd do the same thing to you? I'm not saying I never talk about people or find certain topics interesting, but once you start badmouthing someone I like, or even someone I'm not particularly fond of, I start wondering about all the things you've said about me.
Here's a law of Judaism…
Gossip kills 3 people:
- The one who speaks it
- The one who listens
- The one who is spoken about
They say that the person who listens to gossip is worse than the person telling it, because no harm could be done by gossip if nobody listened. But how can you not listen to some juicy tale about somebody you know? It's temping. You really can't put up your hands and say, "Oh, no no no - that's okay." Instead, I defend them because that person is usually not there to defend themselves. I always wonder about the avid gossiper -- and what is it about their void that they need to fill by telling tales about somebody else? I call them "tales" because that's exactly what they are. They are unverified stories. "He said she said" doesn't even hold any weight. The sad thing is, I really like Michelle. She's funny and she has a quirky sense of humor. I know many people who enjoy her company, but I also notice those very same people who enjoy her company are badmouthed about when they're not around. And I'm talking every. single. person. that we hang out with is spoken badly about. That doesn't sit well with me -- it's like -- how can you tell me something so sacred when we are all friends? What do you say about me? I am almost always informed by one of the girls about the 'chatter' that goes on about me. One always leaks the info --- always. I usually keep anything of a personal issue to myself. I'm back to surfaced "acquaintance" type of chatter when it comes to hanging out with her, and honestly, that's not what friends do. They're not "surfaced" or scared to have conversations with their buddies. This is why I always tend to take a step back. Words have power. You can destroy someone's reputation so easily with impressionable and gullible people. You can literally ruin someone's life. Just one slip of 'thinking' to 'saying' that someone had an affair which can ultimately result in a divorce, all because you 'thought' it was true, but more so, to have a good story to chatter about. They say choose your words wisely. I say, choose your friends wisely. If you're choose to listen to the gossip, you're just as guilty. I guess I have to stop watching TMZ or The Wendy William's Show from now on.