Topics dealing with mental health, grief, relationships and the sole reliance on trusting God.
All articles are written by Debra Pasquella.
The Winter Blues
Yesterday, I read something about "Blue Monday" - a phenomenon that occurs on January 6th (in some reports) or the 3rd Monday of January. The info was quite spotty. The main objective here is that "Blue Monday" is supposedly the saddest day of the year for many people. Most people hate Mondays regardless, but this one I found fascinating because if you think about it -- you can imagine after all the holiday hype, we're now faced with the long, dreaded winter days before the next big holiday: Easter & Passover and of course for the young spring chickens, spring break. In November, it goes up and up and up --- Thanksigiving --- up and up and up --- Black Friday --- up and up and up --- Christmas & Hanukkah --- up and up and up --- BANG -- New Year's Eve! After the big bang-pow festivities, it's now back to school, work, dread, short days, long nights and bitter cold days with a few blizzards in between. People need something to look forward to. I feel fortunate that my birthday falls in the beginning of February, but by this time, turning 40 is now a scary thought to me. I remember when I was in my crisp 20's thinking, "Oh geez, after 35 and it's all medical bullshit and heart attacks." My birth control pills told me so. "If you're over the age of 35, consult your doctor." Everything was "after the age of 35" warnings. After 35, I seriously became a hypochondriac because of all these little scare tactics on warning labels and pill bottles. Things like my estrogen would run out and premenopausal days were ahead -- more for my partner to worry about really --- but it was still scary. The only glimmer of hope for being in my mid-thirties was the wive's tale of reaching your sexual prime. I'm sorry (and sorry if this is TMI), but the best sex of my life was in my twenties. After 30, it became more about complications, going for forbidden apples and becoming this crazed hormonal roller coaster ride of indecisiveness and of course, good ol' angry make up sex. I guess it wasn't all that bad.
Point is: people need something to look forward to, whether within that one year or within their age range. For instance, "today" I feel happier than I did than the last couple of months. So it negates that theory. Another example is that a very good friend of mine who is in her late 50's is having more sex than I ever did in my mid 20's -- and it's not because she's single -- she's married with kids. Go figure. I have a hard enough time trying to get my chihuahua out of the bedroom, no less a kid or three. I've been listening to a lot of seminar speakers and even Christian sermons from my favorite pastors and I have learned one thing: to make yourself happy you have to enjoy "now" and not worry about tomorrow. I'm such a creature of habit and worry worry worry about tomorrow and the day after. During this entire winter, we've been saying, "Ugh, I wish our June vacation would get here now," -- making our days of winter a proverbial waiting room. So this speaker that I listen to said, "Why play the waiting game -- do something great now!" Sometimes, when I listen to these people in a bad mood, I'm just rolling my eyes grumbling about it wondering if their messages are uber hypocritical. I'm sure you know what I mean. A "happy-go-lucky-enjoy-your-life" message makes me fricken insane, especially if I had a bad day. Hell, happy people even make me insane when I'm grumpy. But, in reality, it does make sense. While we're waiting for summer days to come flooding through or we're just waiting on something that we're looking forward to, why not do something NOW to pacify our grumpiness? I didn't think I would make a New Year's resolution, but I'm gonna start with that.