After my dad told me this story, he asked me why black men wanted to harass white women so much. I understood his question, but in my opinion, and in my experience, this doesn’t have anything at all to do with race - it has everything to do with not taking ‘no’ for an answer. I then told him a story that happened to me a few months back. I was watching a band play at our local bar. It was one of the first warm nights of the season and everyone was out having a good time. When I went up to the bar to grab the bartender’s attention, I was greeted by a white male, probably in his early 30’s, average, eh wouldn’t look twice kinda guy. He was tough looking only because he had his Harley gear on since he drove up on his bike with his friends. He asked if he could buy me a drink. I thanked him and said, “No thank you, I got this. I appreciate it though.” He then asked me where I was from, what I do, what’s my name, ‘do I come here often’, yada yada yada. The bar was extremely crowded and it seemed like forever until the bartender even noticed me. The guy kept on. Since he really wasn’t getting much of a response from me other than a cold shoulder and most of my back, he started getting more aggressive. A very large black man next to me was eavesdropping the entire time. He glanced over at me and said, “This guy gives you any problems I’mma bust his ass.” And he wasn’t kidding. In fact, I had to turn around and tell the guy, “See this ring? I’m married. My husband is waiting for me over there (pointed to my gay male friend) and I have five kids at home. I am not interested.” Hoping that would drive him far far away, he said, “I’m married too. Let’s meet somewhere.” I was absolutely floored!
When I got back to my friends, he kept staring at me the entire time. My buff black guy at the bar was watching too. When I was leaving, the guy got up to follow me...and so did my big friend. He guarded the door after I left and said to him, “Where you goin’ punk?” After that, I didn’t hear anything else that went on. But thankfully, I was protected by a gentleman. When I explained what happened to my father in this case, he nodded his head and said, “Yeah, I guess you’re right Deb.” His racial slurs simmered down and it looked like he opened his eyes to the fact that disrespect comes in all colors, shapes and sizes.
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