Imbued II

It all started with the personal ad, “GWF seeking SGF for friendship or more.” You responded. I was only twenty years old, you were thirty. I lied about my age and said I was twenty-one so you knew I could go out and have a few drinks with you, because I had my fake id. At the first sight of you, I honestly thought you would never go for me. “She’s too good for me - this date is so over already!” I kept saying that in my head as you kept luring me in with that beautiful smile of yours.

The unspoken rule about dating is: you never call the next day. You called me 10am the next morning. I remember it clearly, as I was lying in my retro waterbed nursing a hangover, letting my answering machine pick up my morning phone calls. You said you had so much fun and would like to see me again. I couldn’t believe you were saying all of this on my answering machine! I pinched myself to see if I was dreaming. I seriously thought I would never hear back from you.

We started going out every single weekend. Each time being with you was totally different from the last. It only got better. You were my absolute best friend, which is the foundation of what our relationship is based upon. I trust you 110%, if that’s possible. I love you more than words can even muster up. You’re the only one who knows how to make me laugh when I am in the funkiest of all funks. I love you for that.

Remember our romantic getaways in the Hamptons? We spent the entire time on the beach talking, having picnics and finding photographers for our future wedding. We actually chased a famous photographer down to get his info. There are so many vacations we spent together that make me smile every time I think of them. Even at home, it feels like a vacation. Home is where “you” are. This place wouldn’t be a home without you.

On our wedding day, we said our vows. We both had tears in our eyes. I never meant anything so much as I did that day; saying those vows I would only say to one person. I’ve written many things to you on my blog and through handwritten letters, and with each one, I still mean every word I have ever written, which is why I am going to copy and paste a post I had written you a while back that means so much to me...

Locked into your zone; I’m mesmerized with your eyes, your mouth; the way the words flow out of your beautiful lips. Your eloquence puts me in a calm state of mind, luring me in every day, every hour. Your voice soothes me and your stories make me feel alive. Your ability to share absolutely everything with me without any reservations makes me believe this is real, this is what everyone desires.

It’s the way you look at me when you have something on your mind. It’s the way your smile warms my heart. I can read you; I can feel you...I know you. I feel safe with you. You encourage me and most of all, you inspire me. You make me believe I can do anything—even if it seems impossible. Your amazing ability to reach me on every level is astounding. You’re amazing. Every day I learn something new about you. Each day I wonder what you’re thinking, what you’re doing, how you’re feeling and excited to see and hear from you. The anticipation is overwhelming.

Completely overtaken by your beauty, you seem to captivate me with your intelligence and deeper level of understanding. You’re the whole package. You’re entire being is peaceful, tranquil and yet exciting. The desire to be next to you is strong. The desire to understand how someone can be so perfect is unfathomable. I can only thank God for sending me you. I consider myself to be very lucky, as sometimes I feel bad that you got the short end of the stick. You then reassure me that “I’m okay”, and you wouldn’t be here if you didn’t want to.

I trust you. I never trusted anyone before. I trust you with my secrets, my dreams and myself. I’m not afraid to be ‘me’ when I’m around you. You accept me with all my flaws. My humor doesn’t scare you and my sarcasm doesn’t send you running away from me. You laugh at my dumb jokes, and make me feel important. I’m always priority. You drop everything for me—and I appreciate that. You can have a million important tasks in front of you, and yet choose to focus on me and my frivolous chatter.

You inspire me. I love all your new ideas and the way you view the world. The glass is always half full. Your positive energy releases upon me and makes me feel whole again. Your spirit is alive with laughter, kindness and love—all the ingredients for ‘the perfect one’. I can’t find a flaw in you. I tried. What is it that makes you so perfect? Why haven’t I found you sooner?

Happy Valentine's Day sweetheart. I love you so much! I'm the luckiest woman alive!

A video I posted last year on Valentine's Day just to remind you of such wonderful memories!