Living Proof

To tell you the truth, I have yet to figure this one out. As New York's numbers in cases and mortality declines, the south is seeing a huge spike unfortunately. We've had a couple here and a couple there get tested positive, but less than seven people died in our state...sad, but better than thousands. As I continue to 'shelter-in-place,' along with the occasional trip here 'n there, perhaps to a park or the farm market, I'm seeing so many people having pool parties in large numbers, going out to bars and restaurants without wearing masks and having a great time. I'm also seeing thousands protesting in NYC. But we're "good"---right? No one is getting infected really. And if they are, it's super mild. Did New York conquer the bug? Has it weakened? Or, will it catch up to us eventually? Are we in the "February" where we saw a few cases and then BAM---March had us locked down-throw-away-the-key kinda quarantining. I'm so sick...

Lately, I've been noticing how people are twisting this pandemic into something political. They're also using this pandemic to fight it out because some people have an axe to grind for whatever reason.  There are a whole lotta' "Karens" in our world, as we have to just take it in with a grain of salt. I've seen most fights and debates over social media, and some that were in a flower and garden shop that absolutely took me by surprise. Why are we fighting with one another? I remember when we all came together after the tragic day of 9-11, so why are we trying to kill one another? You have people who think they're an expert with the virus itself and apparently, they've all been to the labs and factories while workers made masks to protect others from getting ill...or, the question is, do they protect? Nobody really knows. That's why you get mixed messages. People who take the time and effort to publicly shame others for wearing a mask or not w...

There's a lot to be said about be afraid--about having a constant fear gnawing at you day after day. Fear literally shrinks your mind...it also shrinks your entire world. I know it shrunk mine for a very long time, and it still manages to keep it there ever since this pandemic took center stage. People who normally didn't suffer with debilitating fear are now experiencing it for the first time ever. This world is full of illness, rage, injustice and grief. For a while, I sunk back into my small world---into that fearful corner of anxiety and hypochondria. I had to stop thinking that every little tickle in my throat was the corona virus and that each sniffle would bring me closer to a ventilator. Back in the day (like last year) I would've just blown it off, popped a Claritin and be done with it. Today, I question every sensation in my body, monitoring it like a prison guard. My heart would start racing, but there was nobody to really help me. I couldn't just go to a d...

Sometimes things aren't what they appear to be. Most of the time, nobody knows a person well enough to understand exactly what's going on with them. For instance, when I talk about my struggle with anxiety disorder, I always get the same answer, especially from therapists: "But you don't strike me as someone who would have anxiety or panic attacks." They would mention my personality and how "happy" I seem to be. I'm genuinely a very happy person---I'd rather be happy, but when I get these panic attacks, it can leave me totally exasperated for a day or two. My personality becomes introverted---I almost want to say, silent. At that point, I'm living inside of my head. The only thing I can contribute these remarks, when people say I don't "look the part" is that I come from a very friendly, intelligent and extremely talkative family. I'm Italian, whaddya' gonna do? We're animated, funny, loving, caring, and we love t...

We just went through three months of pure anxiety-ridden hell of a pandemic, and people are just at each other's throats. For me, I'm used to anxiety, and I'm learning how to accept it, feel it, and let it pass... But those who have never experienced panic attacks or anxiety, are now feeling it for the first time due to the virus. Many of us have hidden "health anxiety" -- aka, hypochondria. Those who have it don't feel comfortable admitting they have it, only because they're seen as "germaphobes" and get mocked due to their excessive cleanliness or avoidance of catching germs by shaking hands or sipping out of the same cup. Now? It's become the norm to not shake hands or sip out of anybody's cup. This is good for us hypochondriacs. For some people like myself, this world is going to be a much pleasant place to live in, 'germ-wise'---because it's now acceptable to pass up a handshake or hug or kiss from somebody we don...

In most cases, people who are unsure of themselves usually possess one or two traits: being introverted and quiet, or on the flip side, they're angry, combative and will argue with you until you say that they're right. This ego-driven behavior is usually a deep-seated ax to grind. You usually see this on Facebook debates over politics or on a news' thread. I see people who don't even know the full story or those who weren't even at the scene of what happened argue as if they knew everything. To be right is part of the ego's mission. It can't be wrong, or the ego simply dies. Nobody wants to look vulnerable and throw in the towel on a good debate, especially when there are quite a few onlookers. To them, it's like losing the 'schoolyard fight' at 3pm. Let's not forget the internet name calling trolls. They'll blurt out some of the most ridiculous things, between insults or using the straw man argument. For me, I've been down that r...

Lola loving her beef marrow bone. Whether you like it or not, your fight is not my fight. You can't force people to be on "your side" or have the same opinion or beliefs as you. For instance, a vegan friend of mine claimed that I must not really love my dog that much since I eat meat. Listen, I totally respect your stance on not eating meat, whether it's for your health or for saving animals, but since the beginning of time, we were put on earth to eat vegetables and meat. The same friend put her dog on a vegan diet, which I disagree with---but I never told her I disagreed with it because it's none of my business. Dogs are omnivores. These kinds of different point of views can bring a strain on the friendship if one is trying to convert you over to the other side. Even little 'digs' here and there are uncalled for. It's like me saying that if you don't pray to the same God I do, then I refuse to be friends with you, or I'm constantly gonna ...