Living Proof

I gave Madelene a blanket and pillow and threw her on the couch last night. I didn't want her to go through a night of horrific blood curdling screams from all the pain I'm experiencing, especially that I can no longer take pain meds. I would have taken the couch myself, but I lock up every time I lay down on it.  She's been having a rough go of it at work and super stressed out, so she needed her sleep more than I did at this point. Why torture her by letting her sleep in the same bed with me? My dog had no problem taking up the rest of the unused portion of the bed. With each scream of pain, Lola looked up at me, sniffed my face and then gave me a lick. It was like I had a K9 nurse taking care of me, well, a very short legged, long-bodied one with chronic halitosis, but nonetheless. I woke up this morning, enjoyed a cup of coffee out on the deck and finally had some relief from the night's agonizing pain. I went to physical therapy last night and it helped a lot, bu...

Even Lola's tired of taking care of me. If there's one person I would never, ever live with, it would be...me. Well, maybe half of who I am, because I am a helluva' cook and I'm very nurturing, but the other half is one. pain. in. the. ass. Half the time, I'm up with insomnia or just in excruciating pain. As you know, I'm no stranger to doctors' offices, emergency rooms and hospitals. I'm one hot mess lately. Usually it requires some sort of assistance, like helping me out to the car to rush off to the ER or helping me even make it to the loo. Those are the extreme days. But, we married in health and in sickness. Somewhere right now, my wife is twitching. But I'm not so bad. I make Madelene laugh, I'm silly and immature as hell. I think that's what saves our relationship: laughter. Or maybe it's the dog. In any case, it's the little things in life that bring us joy. God, now I'm starting to sound like a Hallmark card. My point...

Been away for a while. I guess you can say I was on vacation in a spacious room with an ensuite.  You guessed it: the hospital. I ended up there due to stomach bleeding. I was vomiting blood which looked like coffee grinds. I know this due to my friend Google. I was also there for severe - and I mean, excruciating body pain. No one could figure out what the hell was going on with me. Once in the ER, they had to put me in a wheel chair because I was unable walk by myself. I was shaking and crying - it was so unbearable. Then they needed to check for "samples", need I say de la poupe or good ol' merde . Needless to say, after the nurse checked me with a latex glove and some jelly, she never did bring me out to dinner afterwards. I'll put a complaint in later.  They detected blood and basically, that was their main concern - not my cries of pain from every single part of my body hurting. That was just "normal" to them. They pumped me up with morphine after ...

Last night I fell asleep right away, only to be woken up by the sounds of loud thunder and the flickering of the intense lightening. My dog raised her head and then hopped off the bed. Usually this means she has to go out. Mad took her out and I headed off into the bathroom before falling back asleep. As I came back into the bedroom to jump under the covers, I heard, "Debbayyy!" The way my father used to call out if he needed me. It sounded like it was coming from the stairwell. I turned to Mad and said, "Did you hear that? Turn down the TV," hoping that it would call out to me again, but it didn't. His voice was so audible and without a doubt, his voice! As I continued to listen to the thunder and rain outside, I fell asleep. In my dream, I saw Dad sitting at a big dining room table. I was in some sort of sunk in living room, where I would have to walk up a few stairs in order to get to him. He was covered in white light all around him, facing me, saying, ...

It's been a year since you passed away, but your presence still lingers on. We are glad you're at peace and not suffering anymore. The memories of you will always be in our hearts and we all miss you terribly. Our four beautiful daughters have been a godsend for my grief and I am thankful every day that we were blessed with them. So it's not goodbye my love, but it's forever, for all the wonderful times we had together. Want to add your thoughts on Facebook instead?  Click here . For more of Deb's articles, please visit:  www.debrapasquella.com  or join her on  Facebook  and  Twitter . Check out her  cooking blog  for some of her famous recipes!

“There are very few African-American men in this country who haven’t had the experience of being followed when they were shopping in a department store. That includes me. There are very few African-American men who haven’t had the experience of walking across the street and hearing the locks click on the doors of cars. That happens to me — at least before I was a senator. There are very few African Americans who haven’t had the experience of getting on an elevator and a woman clutching her purse nervously and holding her breath until she had a chance to get off. That happens often.” -- Barack Obama The two gay men who were brutally beaten in NYC. Dear President, Thank you for your heartfelt speech poured out to everyone in the United States watching mainstream media. My heart truly goes out to what you have been through, to what many "African Americans" have been through, and of course, still go through. Your struggles as a child is one that many can relate to,...

Finally, all the fights and shit slinging have simmered down on Facebook regarding the Zimmerman trial. I had a few posts that took a turn for the worse ( especially this one ) where a commenter with strong opinions made a snarky comment to the person who disagreed with them. Then it snowballed from there. The thing I don't understand whenever there is a controversial topic going on is when people start insulting one another, calling each other "stupid" or "ignorant" or even resorting to name calling. The fact is: there is nothing you can do about what happened. Whatever our opinions are. ..are just that . Fighting with other people is absolutely pointless because you're wasting your breath trying to convince someone else to go along with what you think it "right". Some people don't tolerate debates (even if childish) on their Facebook account, but as I see it, comment at your own risk because I have more than a few nutcases on my account, i...