One day you're here and the next day, you're not. You wouldn't know it because you've never experienced it, only people you once knew or loved have. Do you think life plays out like a movie and we're all the actors trying to fulfill our part? What makes a 15 year old kid decide to commit suicide by running into the wrong lane, ending up killing two healthy men who each had their own family at home? What explains a kid getting killed playing baseball in the park all because the pitcher threw the ball right into the middle of his chest giving him cardiac arrest? What explains a mother's loss of her child for no apparent reason whatsoever while taking a nap in his crib? What explains woman losing her husband to a heart attack at the age of 35? Is life one big test? What explains cancer? What explains suffering? What can explain the horrible things that go on in this world? Perhaps scientifically and medically we can explain it all, but our spirits are still agonizing over the fact that our loved one was JUST here, and now, they're gone. Put aside the 'facts' and you have an unexplainable situation. All the "prayers and thoughts" from others can only do so much. Although done in good faith, it becomes redundant and almost cliché. Nobody can really say anything to comfort someone who is in mourning. You can't give advice because it isn't the same situation. Nothing is the same. Feelings are different, the love is varied and the heart is so complicated.

I look up into the sky sometimes, wondering where my dad is, hoping I'll get a sign. He once said to me, "When I'm gone," (he's been saying that since I'm 1 yr old), I'm coming back as a hawk!" I know that sounds so general, but hey, that's what he wanted for his sign. So every single morning, I see a hawk fly by, (hoping it doesn't grab my chihuahua), and I think, "Dad?" Silly, right? But it's like, where is he? It's so silent. It's so still. He's gone. At times, I seem to lose my faith somewhere in the pile of questions I have for God. Is dying somewhat like a dead battery? Once the life wears out, it's done? Is it "lights out" --- a bunch of nothingness just sinking into the earth once again? Our "intelligent" minds say it can't be so. There has to be something. What explains all the near death experiences where everyone is giving similar stories? What explains near death patients doing the same exact things: pulling at their bed sheets, talking to deceased loved ones and giving account of who's on the other side? My dad knew one of his friends passed away before even finding out. He said, "Lookit' Frankie! He's with the angels now." And oddly enough, Frankie passed away a week prior. Coincidence? I'm really not sure. As we sit here in our third dimensional bodies wondering endlessly about eternity, are we wasting life on what's no longer here, while our living loved ones are waiting for us to return to reality? The meaning of life is always going to be floating over our heads, but the quality of life may suffer if we dwell on it too long.

Trust in God.

Emotionally & physically ~
2 Corinthians 5:1-10 We know that when this earthly tent we live in his taken down--when we die and leave these bodies--we will have a home in heaven, an eternal body made for us by God himself and not by human hands. We grow weary in our present bodies, and we long for the day when we will put on our heavenly bodies like new clothing. For we will not be spirits without bodies, but we will put on new heavenly bodies. Our dying bodies make us groan and sigh, but it's not that we want to die and have no bodies at all. We want to slip into our new bodies so that these dying bodies will be swallowed up by everlasting life. God himself has prepared us for this, and as a guarantee he has given us his Holy Spirit. So we are always confident, even though we know that as long as we live in these bodies we are not at home with the Lord. That is why we live by believing and not by seeing. Yes, we are fully confident and we would rather be away from these bodies, for then we will be at home with the Lord. So our aim is to please him always, whether we are here in this body or away from this body. For we must all stand before Christ to be judged. We will each receive whatever we deserve for the good or evil we have done in our bodies.

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