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| What a waste of $$$. |
On and off, it seems to come in waves and then leaves as quickly as it came. I've never experienced this sort of chronic pain in all my life. Thankfully, this morning I woke up with "tolerable" pain, but was able to walk and do my daily routine. When speaking to my doctor, the only answer was Percocet. He even advised that I double up on the stuff, leaving me zoned out like some zombie - a lifeless lump of wasted space on the sofa. Madelene asked if I wanted to go to the hospital and stay there for pain management. What's the point? I can do that here now with all the oxycodone, oxycontin, oxy-whatevers that the hospital threw at me, hoping to get me out of their room for the next patient. I tried the "holistic" path, medicinal marijuana. At first, it seemed to have taken the pain away momentarily, and it helped me sleep, but that
paranoid-I'm-gonna-freak-the-hell-out side effect started to kick in. Not only did it start to give me anxiety, but it also made me even 'foggier' than the oxycodone. I even tried smoother paraphernalia, because I hate smoke in my lungs. When the bowl was too harsh, I spent a pretty penny on this beautiful red bong that basically vaporizes the initial smoke. The only thing is, you can't take a small hit. It leaves you completely wrecked. Then again, I spent a pretty penny on a vapor pen. It just doesn't work for me the way people rave about it. It's the herb alone that I hate. After being frustrated over the lack of tools to provide me with pain relief, I had a mini meltdown and just lost it. The crying only made the pain worse.
The entire day yesterday, I was bedridden. Lola didn't leave my side for one second. Anywhere I tried to go, she would walk right by my side, as if this 11 lb pup would be able to pick me up if I fell. Gotta love her. She comforted me in so many ways, except when she laid herself right on my legs where the pain hurt the most. When I went to take her outside to do her biz, my right leg lost all muscle power whatsoever, leaving me to fall onto the grass. I regained the strength, but was scared to even walk down the stairs again. My pain level was at a 10 but there was zero medication in my system. I rode it out. See, everything is poison -- everything, even pot. I don't care if it's "medicinal" --- it's still garbage. "Well, it's natural." Well so are opiates. What's the difference? If you want to get technical, alcohol is even "natural", although can wreak havoc on whatever liver I have left. As I was lying in my bed, of course I had to watch all the day time shows which usually irritates me. But I saw a show where Dr. Oz was talking about gluten. The protein in gluten that's in most of our breads, pastas, beer and even bouillon cubes (just found that one out yesterday) are poisoning our systems little by little. Get this - the reason why there is so much of an abundance of gluten in our foods is because the manufacturers are too lazy to do it the right way. If you make your bread and pasta from home, it's okay, but the fact that the factories have these loop holes leave us with a TON of gluten, this poisonous protein to basically kill us or leave us living a life full of pain, sickness, IBS, psychological problems and other ailments that leave us running to the doctors. ($$$) Look at how many kids are on antidepressants these days. For me, I am totally blaming all my inflammation and pain on poor eating habits. Being raised on pasta and bread all my life and well, being Italian, this was a staple while growing up and throughout my adulthood. Now, there's arsenic in our rice. So from here on out, I am eliminating all gluten, wheat and grains, including corn from my diet. I'm done.
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| We grew up with this stuff. |
I used to make fun of people who were so anti "breads & pastas" -- who were gluten free. I even rolled my eyes over the spiel my friend used to give me about gluten. I really should have listened to her more, but I was stubborn and stuck in my old ways of thinking. Now, being on Paleo, whenever someone posts a photo (like I used to do all the time) of a huge pasta dinner or some cheesy pizza something or other ---I automatically think, "DIABETES". I have developed a healthy phobia of these types of foods. Twenty pounds off my frame and I'm a happy camper. Still have ways to go though. My old diagnosis of "borderline diabetic" - where they wanted to give me pills for it has diminished. I'm no where near that anymore. My cholesterol did go up, but the good cholesterol. The doctors are no longer concerned with it. But why am I still in so much pain after adapting to such a healthier diet? I eat enough foods with magnesium in it, fruits, veggies, meats, fish and drink lots of water plus take 1,000 mg of vitamin D and calcium. I quit all dairy. I have nothing in the food source that would, or "should" give me problems. Everything is poison. Acetaminophen found in Tylenol can damage your liver. NSAIDs will burn another hole in my stomach. Oxy-
whatever is available will leave me with respiratory failure and possible seizures from withdrawal, oh and addiction of course. Everything seems to be cured with a little pill.
..a little pill that costs money...a little pill provided by the pharmaceutical companies. I'm convinced it's all a business. I also believe my pain is for a reason. It's educating me even more so about how much our food supply and medicine is taking a toll on our health.
So for now, I am completely sober of all medicines and tainted foods. We're even thinking about getting our own little greenhouse to raise our own veggies. I may sound a bit obsessed with this, but maybe it's because I'm opening my eyes to what's going on. I'm no longer saying, "Eh well, life's too short not to enjoy the foods you love." But let me just say, I have never loved food so much as I do now, eating natural and clean, and no longer eating almost a pound of pasta or filling up on pointless breads. I'd rather have a dish full of steamers, or a nice delicious plate of organic greens, grass-fed meatballs and spaghetti squash if I have a craving for my homemade tomato sauce. I will incorporate red wine back into my diet, but with much moderation. I'm also excited about going to the gym again. I may not be a huge cross fit fanatic like most Paleo folks, but at least I'm gonna get these joints back into movement. Thanks for all your well wishes and prayers. I refuse to sit back on this one. Wish me luck.
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