Thursday, June 14, 2012

Understanding

There's not much you can do to help someone who has a hidden resentment toward you for whatever reason. Even if you're experiencing the same, or perhaps similar turmoils in life, "your" experience seems less important for some reason. Or at least, that's how I feel. If you don't show your feelings, then you're insensitive. If you reveal too much emotion, then you're insensitive for not holding it in. If you have a little peace within the chaotic wave of happenings, or dare smile, laugh or experience a little joy, then you're insensitive. So, I show nothing. I hide. I try to stay out of everyone's way so they can deal with what they have to. I try not to say anything that'll upset anyone or stir up emotion - I stay neutral. Of course, if you're not around at all, then again, you're. just. too. insensitive.  When I'm pushed away, I stay. When I offer to help or do something that'll make someone else's life a little easier, and I'm brushed off or even hung up on, I tend to not ask or offer any longer until that person lets me know what's bothering them, or wow, maybe even apologize. But you can't expect an apology from someone who is resentful. You just have to accept whatever "form of apology" comes your way - even if it means a 'read between the lines' peace offering. Take it. You can't change people. You can only change the way you view things, but right now I have a lot of mixed signals from those who I try so hard to help in this difficult time, and yet I feel pushed...and then tugged back when they notice my absence.

It's hard to be understanding when you don't understand what's going on.

For more of Deb's articles, please visit: www.debrapasquella.com

2 comments:

the walking man said...

You do realize don't you Deb that folks under strain are going to act and think in behaviors they either are experiencing for the first time or have been hiding from for a long time. You know what's best for Deb? Just keep being that funny, compassionate woman with the bizarre hair cut, OK?

Deb said...

Thank you, Mark. You totally "get it".

Don't mess with mah' hair though.. ;)