Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Your Haters Are Your Biggest Fans

The other day, I read a tweet that said, “Hating others doesn’t show their weaknesses; it shows yours.” I couldn’t find the author of the quote, but I found it to be so true. For instance, if I don’t particularly care for someone, (which is worse than hating someone in my opinion), then I don’t look at their work or even take the time to critique it. I do find that people who “hate” others will take all the time in the world and take every opportunity to let that person know how much they are hated, as well as critiquing their work or whatever they do in life. “Hating” takes time and effort. It also takes a toll on the person who has all the hatred inside their heart. In my opinion, hatred stems from a lack of self-esteem, jealousy, resentment and/or something they hate about themselves. There are so many different areas where this can be applied, whether you’re a writer, an actor, a comedian or a successful businessperson, every. single. person. has a hater or two in their lives.

As a blogger, I have had my share of “haters”. Some were religious zealots that attacked me for being a homosexual. Their primary focus was....me. One religious group offered me to live with them in their home, if I would leave my wife, marry this “nice boy from their church”, leave the life of 'evil lesbianism' behind, take my book off the shelves and live a life only dedicated to serving God. Quite an offer, but sadly, I declined. They were relentless in their mission to “save me” and to live the “right life” instead of a dead end road that would lead me into the gates of hell. They attacked me numerous times on their radio shows and said some awful things one wouldn’t think a “Christian” would say. They called me a heathen and when they didn’t get what they wanted from me, I was referred to as “that dumb dyke”. Christianity has a range of people that really should read the bible from time to time. Oddly enough, the fundamentalist Christian woman who had offered me this amazing deal was once a lesbian herself. She’s now an “ex-gay” - which is why this following quote is applicable: “If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us.” ~Herman Hesse

Surprisingly, I’ve had quite a few gay bloggers who bashed me because my views weren’t the same as theirs. I’ve butted heads with many of the LGBT community because I wasn’t this liberal drone moving along with their herd of sheep. In mixed company, I have to leave behind my political and religious views, or else I become the “red” target. I’ve been called everything from “crazy” to “the guilt-ridden Christian lesbian”. Some of the LGBT community were worse than the religious bigots who thrashed me on a continuous basis. Their mission was to take me down emotionally and spiritually. They even critiqued parts of my book to which then, I knew they had purchased, or else they wouldn’t have known that particular section since Amazon.com doesn’t provide that chapter in its free preview. Flattering to say the least. I guess that saying, “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer” is pretty much true. Perhaps you have to study about the people you hate. I don’t know because I have never truly “hated” somebody. If I’m going to make an effort and put all my energy into something, it’s going to be a positive thing - not taking someone down and dishing out all this negativity. What a waste. Nothing good could ever come out of that.

Without naming names, I have a friend who is getting a little flak from “his biggest fans”. I can see to some degree that it bothers him, and I’m not quite sure if he has ever been in that situation before, however from an outsider looking in, I can definitely say that these people are extremely envious. But more importantly, he has to see this for himself. There are times when those “haters” are going to tear your spirit down, and in his case, it may reflect in his work. So this is my little message to him: Whenever you come across those who try to rip you apart, just remember that the most superficial glampots (as I call them) are the most insecure people in the world. They’re not happy with themselves and they never will be. They see the self-confidence you have, and they’ll eventually want to take that from you. You shine through all of them. I remember telling you once, “You sparkle”, and you tilted your head as if you didn’t understand. Don’t ever let anyone take your sparkle away. Although we have different careers, we have the same type of haters. Here are some great quotes that I find helpful and so so true.

"Hatred is the coward's revenge for being intimidated." ~George Bernard Shaw

"Hatred is self-punishment." ~Hosea Ballou

"Great hate follows great love." ~Irish Proverb

"Hate is all a lie, there is no truth in hate." ~Kathleen Norris

"You cannot hate other people without hating your self." ~Oprah Winfrey

For more of Deb's articles, please visit: www.debrapasquella.com

15 comments:

CP said...

I hate you.

And I mean that in the most loving way possible. LMAO

Okay. That's not true. I want to have angry make up sex with you. But I can't do that if we never fight...so I have to pretend to hate you. *snorts*

Actually, that's not true either. You know I've just been using you for the past 6 years to get to Mad. That's really all it is.

I have two favorite quotes when it comes to jealousy and haters. Here is my civilized response:

“Jealousy is the tribute mediocrity pays to genius.”
~Fulton J. Sheen.

And here is my snarky response:

"If you're going to be two faced, at least have the decency to make one of them pretty."
~Marilyn Monroe.

Now, run and tell THAT, Homeboy! LOL

Lurve you to death and beyond! And if you were a flesh eating zombie, I'd so let you bite me so we can run around the world making baby zombies together! YAY!

Deb said...

I absolutely ~ღ~ you! Those are priceless quotes you wrote. Love it! And yes, I know you have the power to steal mah' wife away, so back off woman! (But at least if she did leave me for you, it would be worth it!)
Lurve you too xoxoxo!
Come visit us soon!

the walking man said...

Them with the most unrestrained commentary about another persons life are those that have placed a low value on every individual life.

*shrug* Detroit Attitude certainly applies to them in my world.

Just_because_today said...

“Hating others doesn’t show their weaknesses; it shows yours"
Wonderful quote, wonderful post.

Hate and anger towards other is really against oneself. It might disturb the person being hated, but it destroys the hater.
Like you, I can't waste time criticizing and paying attention to someone's work I dont care for. I'd rather use that time and effort with the people I love.

Susan said...

Man, do I understand this. I've had my share of haters too--in fact, some of my haters hate you too, so I guess you and me are in great company. Funny, I haven't thought about the why very much. In one case, I don't know if it were envy or that I became a symbol of displaced anger. Either way, it's a fairly cowardly way of expressing emotions.

Xmichra said...

Perhaps not the source people prefer.. but all the same, this quote is cyckical:

"Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering." ~Yoda ;)

So really, when you choose to hate, you show your fear. Fear can be worked on. Suffering not so m uch.

budh.aaah said...

Thanks or a new word 'Glampots' :) Oh that 'religious' family was hilarious and oh so generous. Its funny how far people can go to dump their beliefs about life and how it should be lived on you..

Anonymous said...

die fucking bitch!

Deb said...

Anonymous' IP address Googling, "I hate lesbians"...
Domain Name epm.net.co ? (Colombia)
IP Address 201.233.60.# (EPM Telecomunicaciones S.A. E.S.P.)
ISP EPM Telecomunicaciones S.A. E.S.P.
Location
Continent : South America
Country : Colombia (Facts)
State/Region : Antioquia
City : Medelln
Lat/Long : 6.2914, -75.5361 (Map)
Language Spanish
es
Operating System Macintosh WinNT
Browser Safari 1.3
Mozilla/5.0 (Windows NT 6.1) AppleWebKit/535.1 (KHTML, like Gecko) Chrome/13.0.782.215 Safari/535.1
Javascript version 1.5
Monitor
Resolution : 1440 x 900
Color Depth : 32 bits
Time of Visit Aug 25 2011 4:33:14 pm
Last Page View Aug 25 2011 4:34:49 pm
Visit Length 1 minute 35 seconds
Page Views 3
Referring URL http://www.google.co...&h=331&ei=ubFWTsvpGZ
Search Engine google.com.co
Search Words i hate lesbians
Visit Entry Page http://www.debrapasq...ur-biggest-fans.html
Visit Exit Page http://www.debrapasq...ur-biggest-fans.html
Out Click POST A COMMENT
https://www.blogger....3433716&isPopup=true
Time Zone UTC-6:00
Visitor's Time Aug 25 2011 3:33:14 pm
Visit Number 241,355

Anonymous said...

hahahahah thats fun :P

Deb said...

Guess you're a fan eh? lol Love you too!

Anonymous said...

hahaha,sorry, just having a hard time :)bye :):)

Deb said...

That's ok. You need any help?

Anonymous said...

you already help me :), now I know that not everyone is like her ;)

Deb said...

I'm glad. There are good people out there, even though you may not agree with their lifestyle. Don't let one bad weed spoil the garden for ya! lol Good luck! :):):)