Friday, February 19, 2010

Haters

A true friend will stick by you no matter what. They don’t use the past against you and they don’t use vicious words to attack you. Although they may argue with you from time to time, to insult a friend is to surely lose a friend. I’ve found in my past with a few select people, that there are some who are very envious over what other people have, or what they think they have. Envious friends are never “real friends”. They strive upon what you have ---even if it’s not much. Today a friend got angry with me and felt cornered enough to say, “Well, you’re not a real writer.” So I asked her, “What is a ‘real’ writer?” She explained how a real writer wouldn’t self-publish a book. I guess she meant an “accomplished” writer to where they are well off. Of course I am not accomplished...yet. I can hope to be accomplished one day and my writing may not be perfect, but I’d like to think that I’m a “real writer”. She accused me of ‘making myself out to be successful’. Well, what does that mean? What does it mean to “be successful”? Is it wealth? Is it a high-demanding career? Is it commuting every single day to a 9-5 job? I was also accused of ‘coming from money’. Don’t. I. wish. I mean, are people absolutely out of their minds to even go as far to tell someone this when they are angry? I would never put a price tag or nitpick on petty little things such as that. People are people - I don’t care if they’re rich, poor, struggling paycheck to paycheck----if I’m going to be friends with someone, I take them ‘as is’.

A good friend of mine sent me an email with a poem by, Maya Angelou called, “Haters”.

“A hater is someone who is jealous and envious and spends all their time trying to make you look small so they can look tall. They are very negative people to say the least. Nothing is every good enough!

When you make your mark, you will always attract some haters...

That’s why you have to be careful with whom you share your blessings and your dreams, because some folk can’t handle seeing you blessed...

It’s dangerous to be like somebody else. If God wanted you to be like somebody else, He would have given you what He gave them! Right?

You never know what people have gone through to get what they have...

The problem I have with haters is that they see my glory, but they don’t know my story...

If the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence, you can rest assured that the water bill is higher there too.

We’ve all got some haters among us.

Some people envy you because you can-
A) Have a relationship with God
B) Light up a room when you walk in
C) Start your own business
D) Tell a man/woman to hit the curb
E) Raise your children without both parents being in the home

Haters can’t stand to see you happy.
Haters will never want to see you succeed.
Most of our haters are people who are supposed to be on our side.

How do you handle your undercover haters?

You can handle there haters by:
1. Knowing who you are & who your true friends are. (VERY IMPORTANT!!)
2. Having a purpose to your life. Purpose does not mean having a job. You can have a job and still be unfulfilled. A purpose is having a clear sense of what God has called you to be. Your purpose is not defined by what others think about you. 
3. By remembering what you have is by divine prerogative and not human manipulation.

Fulfill your dreams! You only have one life to live...when it’s your time to leave this earth, you want to be able to say, “I've lived my life and fulfilled my dreams. Now I’m ready to go HOME!

When God gives you favor, you can tell your haters, “Don’t look at me. Look at who is in charge of me...”

Although I don't know what it's like to be rich, I also don't know the feeling of being envious over someone.  If a friend or co-worker got promoted, I would be so happy for them.  When a waiter who works so hard finally wins the lottery and becomes a multi-millionaire, I have tears in my eyes --I really do!  When a friend gets married to the love of their life ---I am thrilled beyond belief!  I don't know the feeling of being jealous on those terms. Mind you, I have been very jealous in intimate relationships if someone cheated on me or I had thought something more was brewing behind the scenes, but never in the sense where I coveted anyone.  It's not to say that I don't want nice things, it's just that I love sharing the happiness I see in a friend or family's eyes when they finally get something they've truly wanted.  Maybe I'm weird, I just don't get it.  

I now just sit back and say, "Please, by all means, believe what you want."  I can't argue with someone who wants to battle with me over possessions or what I do for a living.  This happened right in front of my wife.  Madelene looked over at me and simply said, "Is she insane?"  She really had concern for this person's well being and mental stability.  She was confused over why this person was so focused over our financial matters, flip flopping from bashing my "self-published" book, to insinuating that I'm a "kept housewife".  And, even if I were a "kept housewife"----why would this bother her so much? She thinks just because someone works at home means that they are unemployed.  This said friend had also bashed my little freelance gigs that I work very hard on and claimed that it doesn't pay all the bills.  Well, she was right.  No, it doesn't pay all the bills.  Madelene and I share the expenses together as a team.  That's how we work.  When Madelene was out of work for a year or so, I took care of her. I never thought anything about it.  When I was out of work for over two years, Madelene took care of me - without a thought behind it and didn't even care if I ever returned to work.  This is our business ---not my friend's.  Madelene and I always say, "It comes out of the same pot."  We are one. We're a team and we work together to make a comfortable home life for us.  If a friend has a problem with the way you live, then it's time to cut them out of your life.  Maya Angelou had it right when she stated, "That’s why you have to be careful with whom you share your blessings and your dreams, because some folk can’t handle seeing you blessed..."  It's true. Our friend hates to see us blessed.  Although we're not rich by any means, we are certainly blessed with love, family and a passion for what we do in life, no matter how "successful" one feels we are or aren't.  With that being said, in my eyes, we are rich. 

Why can't people be content with their own lives and successes in life?