Thursday, August 13, 2009

Never a Dull Moment...

You’re still not going to get any ‘deep & meaningful’ stuff out of me just yet. My mind is awfully scattered this past week - hell, this past month, so bear with me. The mini crazy dramas at home have kept me well occupied to last me for a while. Being that I live in a condo complex that is divided by each individual owner, every condo has their own set of rules of course. The home association only determines what goes on outside of your condo: no shoes outside the foyer, only 1 hanging plant, no big flags unless American, absolutely no umbrellas and electric grills only. You get my drift. The entire community is well kept and the landscaping is beautiful. The only downfall to this lovely little circle of homes are the many dog owners. Each building holds ten families. I live in a section where there are only hard working young couples hustling from work and then off to happy hour. It’s nice that way. No time for pets. One of them owns a 14 year old mutt. She’s cute, black chubby and quiet. She looks more like a black lab, but very slow-going and eager to jump into your car if you open your door.

During the past month, my next door neighbor just got a black lab puppy. He’s adorable, but rambunctious. I see my friend walking her dog around the yard and then heard, “Jen! He peed all over our bed!” Must suck to be them, I thought. And, as you already know, my neighbor downstairs just got a miniature pincher / Chihuahua mix. I never thought about the inevitable: constant yip-yappin’ barking pups. Granted, it’s only during the day (which I happen to work at home), so there goes that safe call - but even at night before my neighbors arrive from home, the dogs are itchy, hearing every sound in the building as though there was some intruder trying to force their way in through into the vents and into their territories. You can imagine what this does to a tiny little yip-yappin’ dog that looks more like a rat with huge ears.

This morning, as I was having my coffee and cereal with my wife, it was oddly quiet. All of our windows were opened because there happened to be a nice cool breeze. We then heard someone screaming, possibly an older man. I stepped out onto my deck and looked down below to see an older gentleman from across the street yelling at my neighbor next to me, who was sitting out on her deck. “You have no respect for your neighbors! You keep that good for nuttin’ dog barking all day while you’re at work! I’m retired and it’s driving me crazy! This community should have no dogs and I am reporting you to the home owner’s association! Train your goddam dog!” Of course, being that my neighbor is of Latina descent, her head started moving from left to right, making her big looped earrings jangle with each jolt as she fired back, “Ju-know, maybe if you turned your effin’ hearing aid lower you wouldn’t hear it so much! Go ‘head - tell the home owner’s association! All owners are allowed pets viejito! Read the contract asshole!”

The little older man briskly walked toward to the association’s office, which happens to be adjacent to our building and has not come out since. In fact, I am writing this from outside my deck, watching all of this unfold. I’m secretly rooting for the old man because frankly, hearing those dogs yip-yap from morning till night is really getting on my nerves as well.

Never a dull moment around here.